October/November challenge

[Strat1958]

Well, this is definitely going to be the most depressing song I have written...not much positivity around the theme of empty or emptiness!

So...here is a first draft.

GONE © 2009 Mike Pilling

Empty house, empty streets
Same old same old, just repeats
Empty feeling in my soul
You had gone

Empty nights, empty days
Stumbling through it, in a haze
It was out, of my control
Since you’d gone

[CH]
Coming home, the room was cold
Overnight, I felt so old
Coming home, the light was on
But it was dark because you’d gone

How did I help, create this mess?
The whistling wind, cried emptiness
I heard a voice outside the door
But you’d gone

I wouldn’t change, I wouldn’t say
That everything was not OK
My footsteps echoed, on the floor
Cause you’d gone

[BRIDGE]
Now there’s a phrase, time has a way
And tomorrow doesn’t have to be today
Don’t start over – start again
Rays of sunshine through the rain

[CH]
Coming home, the room is cool
For my part, I feel a fool
Coming home, the light is on
Xxxxxxxx (working on this line, but want it to be something implying a cautiously hopeful future)

 

[gecko zzed]

Thanks for participating, Mike.

Do you realise that you have triggered another idea challenge, i.e. writing a song about emptiness that is uplifting? Hmmm . . . I'll think about it.

 

[Strat1958]

Trying this on for the last verse:

[CH]
Coming home, the room is cool
For my part, I feel a fool
Coming home, the light is on
My empty heart is nearly gone

 

[Strat1958]

Trying something with the bridge...I want to show that turning the 'negative' around entails some struggle. Hence, "pull some sunshine through the rain".

Now there’s a phrase, time has a way
And tomorrow doesn’t have to be today
Don’t start over – start again
Pull some sunshine through the rain

 

[Mr Funk]

Great song! I like!

What about simply "emptiness is nearly gone"? I just think it then means emptiness in the soul, the heart, the mind, the home etc etc...

 

[Strat1958]

Hmmm, I like it...thanks Mister!

-Mike

 

[Mr Funk]

You are welcome.

Let us know if and when you record it, would like to hear it.

 

[Strat1958]

OK so I think I have some recordable lyrics. Now just have to come up with a melody!

GONE © 2009 Mike Pilling

Empty house, empty streets
Same old same old, just repeats
Empty feeling in my soul
You had gone

Empty nights, empty days
Stumbling through it, in a haze
It was out, of my control
Since you’d gone

[CH]
Coming home, the room was cold
Overnight, I felt so old
Coming home, the light was on
But it was dark
Yeah it was dark
Because you’d gone

How did I help, create this mess?
The whistling wind, cried emptiness
I heard a voice outside the door
But you’d gone

I wouldn’t change, I wouldn’t say
That everything was not OK
My footsteps echoed, on the floor
Cause you’d gone

[BRIDGE]
Now there’s a phrase, time has a way
And tomorrow doesn’t have to be today
Don’t start over – start again
Pull some sunshine through the rain


[CH]
Coming home, the room is warm
Clouds are clearing, from the storm
Coming home, the light is on
My emptiness
My emptiness
Yeah my emptiness is nearly gone

 

[Mr Funk]

It's funny, but I always come up with the melody at the same time as writing the lyrics. I can add lyrics to a melody, but never work the other way.

Best of luck.

 

[Strat1958]

Well I assembled the drum track today, and when I was pretty far along, my computer locked up, so I lost everything since the last save. SHIT! I had to do half of it again!

But, the wheels are rolling!

-Mike

 

[Strat1958]

I've written a melody. I've been singing the song a cappella in the car, driving to & from work. Hopefully will push the red button on the weekend!

-Mike

 

[up-fiddler]

I've written a melody. I've been singing the song a cappella in the car, driving to & from work. Hopefully will push the red button on the weekend!

-Mike

Mike - Best of luck and have fun. Dave

 

[Strat1958]

Thanks Dave - it is fun painting this picture!

Got two acoustic guitar rhythm tracks done yesterday, for a full, dark guitar sound. I played the same part twice, with 2 different mics, panned left-ish and right-ish. The guitar (Martin Sigma DM-5 with new Elixir strings) has been tuned down a full step, which really adds to the sound I am trying to achieve.

Then I took a few runs at the bass part, but I'm not happy with it. It sounded too 'poppy' and melodic....I'm going for a bigger bottom end. Will re-do this morning.

-Mike