New song... advice needed.

14yearoldkid

New member
The new song is called "Stunned", "Barely Moving" is also a new song... So please listen to them and give me some advice! On the mix, lyrics, instruments, overall song, Whatever you want!. I used my Mbox 2 with Pro Tools LE 7.4 for all of this... I recorded midi piano and everything else was mic'd! thanks!


www.myspace.com/bxany
 
Good work! You play accordeon also? You're gifted man! :) You play and I'll talk to the chicks :D (just kidding).

Best regards & good wishes,
PK
 
I think that the presentation would be a lot improved if you stuck to the piano, ditched the fuzzbox guitar, and swapped it out for a bass guitar.

You're not playing effective guitar parts...funky notes, hesitant changes...and the fuzz makes it sound like a bee in my head. It is superfluous noise. And it sounds like the fuzz is being used to paint over the poor performance. It's ruining everything that's good in the tunes...and there is a lot of good in them. You're mostly playing melody on the guitar...which is tangling up with the vocal melody. Hit some chords and let them ring consonant with what the piano plays. It's concept that you need to be aware of...and you can get that by listening to guitar parts you like, and emulating them.

At the same time, there's no bass playing that I can hear. Simple bass lines...much harder to flub....playing with the kit, would make a complete sound-picture. I think you should do bass guitar parts...and hold off on the guitar until you get a little more facility with it...or have a friend who can play it better do some parts for you. Actually, acoustic guitar would work a lot better. At least in the two I listened to. Or just work on the guitar parts until you can play them clean without cringing at the result. Thin chords. Stay out of the way of the piano...keep the chords simple. A nice jangly accessorizing.

The vocals are good. The drums are played in-time. And the piano is providing good chordal support.

There is another element I think you should be aware of, and try to work out:
Themes....like little bits of melody and rhythm , played in the piano, bass guitar, or guitar...together. It gives direction and purpose to the music as it unfolds. What you have backing the vocal is a plate of potatoes, gravy, ham and peas ...all mixed together in a blender. Kinda mushy. Listen for it on other recordings. Try to grab some of it, and use it to improve your compositions. It's all awareness...identifying it in those other records...and working with the concept in your own.

Very promising work, kid. Keep going!
 
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Whoa!, thats A LOT of great advice!!!!. Thanks to the two of you for giving it a listen. I gotta fix my bass guitar so I can add some bass! hehe thanks again.
 
Very good material for the genre.
Nice voice pretty well recorded. Arrangement could do with some dynamics, it all tends to drag a little. Drums sound a bit too loud. A proer bass would be nice too. Hope this helps.

Joey :)
 
This is sweet! You really only 14?

This sounds pretty damn good to me. i like the vocal play in the different speakers. Is there bass in this? I'm not really hearing it, but that could be my headphones...but then again, i'm not really really missing it.

Is that real drums? the lower tom sounds a little cloudy now and then, but fits the vibe. nice job.
 
hahaha no rob! Im not 14 ANYMORE, I made this name when I was 14... I am 19!... Damn can a mod change my username to 19yearoldkid? lolol. Thanks dude.

The drums were all MIDI... I don't have the right equipment or room to actually play my kit...
 
Stunned,
Seems good - I'd like to hear it with a little more definition than a meespace streamer will allow. have you considerd mighningMP3 or soundclick?
The bvox work well the guitar solo is too low in the mix - it shoudl be at the same level as the vox.
Languid would be the bestdescription of the tempo & feel - but it's nice nevertheless.
It could be meespace but to my ears there's not much happening in the higher freq.s - perhaps you could re EQ the song.
Barely Moving - as with stunned but the bvox don't work as well when they're kind of fuzzy high the voice in the ear b/vocals work though.
The delivery doesn't reflect the lyrical theme so well on this one.
Good songs
 
I'm only 15 ya know =PP

I like your voice. You could slow down the speed of adjustment for your autotune to about a 20-25, it'd sound a lot more natural.

You going to play shows anytime soon??! =]]

<33
 
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