New rock/metal tune...please critique!

A

Analytical Man

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Hello everyone. This is my latest piece of work entitled The Dark Mason. It is a song about building walls to protect yourself from getting hurt and ultimately creating your own tomb. Please critique...lyrics, performances, mix, concepts...whatever. I handled drums, keys, guitars, and vox on this one, and my good friend Mitch played the bass...we worked really hard on this one, and are happy with it but need some outside perspective...and fresh ears. Thanks in advance for the listen.


http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/album.php?aid=5386&alid=-1
 
the song sounds good but the mix sounds kinda muffled..doesn't seem like it needs alot of work..you guys seem to be pretty tight too...I don't know if you let other people do mixes for you but if you do I would like the take a shot at it
 
Can't go wrong with bells haha! It seems a little muffled to me too, guitars need a bit more bite, but the performance is just fine.

Perhaps some extra harmonized guitars where the lead break is just before 3mins? Or raise them up a bit, they sound rad and it's a shame you can't quite hear them.
 
hey guys thanks for the listen. I think my ears were fried when i made the final mix. Normally i don't have real muffled mixes. I took a break from it, and remixed it. I think i fixed the issues. Let me know what you guys think. Also the harmonies are now a little more prominent...slo
jammer...normally i mix my own stuff but if i can't get this thing sounding great i will definately whore it out to you. Thanks guys...if you could give a listen to mix 2 i would appreciate it.

-Shaun

http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/album.php?aid=5386&alid=-1
 
Ah there you go. I'd bump up the vocals too, they well done but a bit low (maybe you don't like your own voice hehe but it's good!!).

The bells sit heaps better with the whole piece too, less obtrusive. Guitars are good, IMO I'd try less gain for clarity sakes (but I've expressed that opinion in another thread and been told to post personally recorded evidence of such an insane theory before I dare recommend it, so let's pretend I never said a thing about it...;))
 
I say you can bring the vocals up a bit yes. The drums seem a bit to upf ront compared to rest of instruments, as if "I listen sitting in the drummers chair" if you know what I mean. Other than that it's pretty good! :-)
 
Hey, I really like this song. Probably because it's the sort of style that I'm always going for. I think the arrangement is great.

My suggestions would be that the guitars seem to have a little too much low end, making it sound muffled, especially compared to the bright sounding drums.

I also think you have a little bit of the heavy hands syndrome on the drums. Whenever I do sampled drums, I always try to think about how hard I would really be playing when hitting real drums. One rule I like to follow is that the faster you are playing, the softer you will be hitting the drums, especially for fills. for myself, I have a rule not to go over 100 on any hit for fills. Even though drummers like to dance around, they are rarely (if ever) hitting the drums with full force.

Another thing I do when I play drums is that I tend to hit harder with my right hand then I do with my left, so I try to alternated power on each stroke with sampled drums. This seems to cover up some of the mechanical feel for me when I use sampled drums.

Cool song. oh, and add one more vote for bringing the vocals up.
 
Thanks for the help!!

First off, thanks to everyone who listened and gave their input. I tried to incorporate everyone thoughts into this final mix. I believe i finally have it. If i could call on you guys that listened one more time that would be awesome.

orjan/boz...i fixed the drums and issues you guys were referring to...at least i think so

Slo...i bumped the vox a little and cleaned up the low end so they come through a little more

jammer...i tried to unmask this mix and think i did, if you are still interested in mixing it i might try that as well...just to see the stylistic differences from one person to another

thanks again

http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/album.php?aid=5386&alid=-1
 
I like it. Vocals are good, they really guide the song along more now you can hear them.

Especially when you hear the latest mix compared to the first one, vast improvement imo.

Still think the guitars could do with a low cut, they are a bit woofy in the fast bits - but the clean is really nice, don't change a thing there.

I just noticed though, I can't actually hear a bass being played on the track. If there is a bass track, let it take care of the lows and get the guitar out of it's way. If there IS no bass, consider putting a track down, then the guitars don't have to make up the missing bass with woof. It just sounds like you're going for a huge sound, and yeah for this song you definitely need epic hugeness, but it seems to me like the guitar is trying to cover more than it can hold up to. Kinda.

I'm not sure I'm articulating this right, I don't mean to offend. And hey, you can clearly play, so I don't think I'm asking too much when I ask for a bass track hehe.

(edit: I should clarify here, I am only talking about the guitar sound in some places. The rest is rocking to my ears!)

But man, you could polish this thing to no end, and not meaning to quote Lars, but "when is a painting done?" - so I guess the real question is - does it do it for YOU?
 
I'd agree that the second version is an improvement. I also agree with the low end/bass comments.

Awesome song. I really like the melody and the instrumental arrangement. It sounds like stuff I used to try to do, but could never pull off very well.
 
This song sounds just jammin'. Those drums pack nice a punch. The muted git notes around 2:35 sound really nice. The crunchy ness of the guitars is very nice.

The bass could really be more present. I think I hear it behind the verses in clean gits part. But whent he dist. kicks in the bass is non present. It could just add so much more to the song.

This song is really catchy. Nice vox. Could use slight raising but that's just matter of taste too.
 
Really nice song you've got here, man!
Nice guitar sound, is it miced? I agree with making the bass a bit more agressive. Some gain on it would help make it purrr.....
Great vocals, drums have punch. Great work overall, well done!

Joe :D:D
 
Great tune. Not a lot I would do with that really. I agree with the clarity criticisms. I can't hear highs too well in there, no cymbal clarity or anything but perhaps that is what you prefer? I like the sound of the drums, I think it matches the music well without being over indulgent. The music has a Marylin Mansonesque feel to it, but just a little more progressive, which is good. I look forward to hearing more from you.
 
Thanks guys...i really appreciate all of the help on this one. I am gonna fiddle with the lower frequecies a bit more and call it a day on this mix.

rayc-i will give it a shot

1,2,1234- thanks for the comments..Manson huh...i got plenty more of this type of music coming in the future...i usually have a bit more clarity in the highs, but i wanted this to be a little warmer...i think i lost a little clarity in doing so

JoeyM-thanks for the thoughts...the guits are a mesa boogie triple rectumfrier mic'd with an sm57 and ran into various plugs in Logic...i'll give the gain/bass thing a crack

bigbubba-thanks for the listen, vox are up a bit now

slo/boz-appreciate the compliments...glad you guys enjoyed...i like the feeling of having my music stuck in someones head...AWESOME!
 
Enjoying this tune. Good work. I didn't hear the original mixes, but this one sounds great. No suggestions for changes. Cool!!!

A lot going on, but everything has its own space.

Yeah man, very cool song.
 
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