New Original
- Thread starter stasz
- Start date
heatmiser
mr. green christmas
I wouldn't worry so much about the guitars myself so much at this point. I thought they sounded ok. I wasn't honestly paying too close attention to the electric being in tune though as I couldn't help but focus more on the vocals.
The lyrics struck me right off the bat as being so specific and literal, that I was thrown both by that and your vocal performance which sounds kind of, I don't know...lazy I guess? I'm sorry, I'm just trying to be honest. I think if I read those lyrics on paper I might have somewhat of a hard time imagining them in a musical setting, but if they were sung more melodiously, I think maybe it could work.
You've got such a plain, spoken word delivery going here that it is kind of stark. It seems like you could do better both in terms of singing and processing your voice. As it is, it sounds like you just kind of set a mic up in front of you, got pretty close to it and sort of read the words off a sheet of paper. That may not have been how you did it at all, and I apologize if a great deal of effort went into the vocal production, but that's how it sounded to me.
Maybe try to expand upon the simple melody a little, vary and/or shorten the chorus a little and sing this more than speak it. Draw some notes out for a while and play around with them. Put more emotion into it. Spend more time experimenting with mic position, compression, EQ, delay and/or reverb or something, you know? Just some thoughts - hope this helps!
The lyrics struck me right off the bat as being so specific and literal, that I was thrown both by that and your vocal performance which sounds kind of, I don't know...lazy I guess? I'm sorry, I'm just trying to be honest. I think if I read those lyrics on paper I might have somewhat of a hard time imagining them in a musical setting, but if they were sung more melodiously, I think maybe it could work.
You've got such a plain, spoken word delivery going here that it is kind of stark. It seems like you could do better both in terms of singing and processing your voice. As it is, it sounds like you just kind of set a mic up in front of you, got pretty close to it and sort of read the words off a sheet of paper. That may not have been how you did it at all, and I apologize if a great deal of effort went into the vocal production, but that's how it sounded to me.
Maybe try to expand upon the simple melody a little, vary and/or shorten the chorus a little and sing this more than speak it. Draw some notes out for a while and play around with them. Put more emotion into it. Spend more time experimenting with mic position, compression, EQ, delay and/or reverb or something, you know? Just some thoughts - hope this helps!
Thanks for the reply. You're correct that I did not put a great deal of production into the vocal. I agree that I could change up the chorus in a number of ways. First of all, I don't like that it's the same line over and over. Secondly, I don't like that it's the same melody over and over. I experimented with a few other melodies but I couldn't quite find one that I liked. I think I'll keep experimenting with it, as well as with mic placement, eq, comp, etc. and see if I can find something that I like.
Unfortunately I think part of the problem is just the fact that my natural singing voice is somewhat dry, and sounds somewhat like speaking. Thanks again for listening/critiquing.
Unfortunately I think part of the problem is just the fact that my natural singing voice is somewhat dry, and sounds somewhat like speaking. Thanks again for listening/critiquing.
