new emo/pop-punk song 'The Fall of Man'

[jdjustice]

this is a song i just wrote for an artist i am producing to sing.
i wanted to get some feedback on the actual song.
i know the mix sucks and the drum machine sounds cheesy (and my voice is out of tune)....
the point of this is just to make a demo of the song and see if it is good enough to be recorded properly.

all feedback, negative and positive, greatly appreciated!

'The Fall of Man' ©2007 by J.D. Justice

 

[Monkey Allen]

Sounds pretty good. I like the piano playing and the singing is fine. Is it gonna be a piano driven song in the final version?

 

[jdjustice]

Sounds pretty good. I like the piano playing and the singing is fine. Is it gonna be a piano driven song in the final version?

thanks!
no, i don't think the final version will be piano driven; that's just how i compose so it was easier to do a demo with the piano.
probably guitar-driven, although i am not entirely sure..... we'll see!

i appreciate you taking the time to listen!

~j.d. justice

 

[jdjustice]

bump? any more opinions?
TIA!!


~j.d.