Need some critiquery :)

tourettes5139

tourettes5139

New member
Hey guys,

Here's one I just did last Saturday, and have been slowly working on the mix, and here is the first one. I would greatly appreciate some advice on this song.

The vocal mix is kinda rough, (well, so is my singing, but thats a different issue!)and my snare drum needs to be dismantled and never reassembled. :rolleyes: Oh, and be warned: the solo is just a total wankfest, in that it is too long, and might be boring to others. I had fun with it though. :D

Lo-Fi
Hi-Fi

If these don't work, try this and choose "Give the Man a Break"
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=411744

Thanks guys! I appreciate it!
 
True - we need a break - good name for a song.

Nothing like live drums to give a tune that real feel. (I don't mind the snare??).

Nice soloing - heavy..... a Neil Young bit in there in one part ??

The ending vocals are good - the harmonies really fill it out.

I think that you can bring up the vocals and instruments at the beginning.

Nice distortion on the ending.

G
 
I really like the drum sound & the way the instruments sit in the mix. The vocals are a little dry & too upfront - but I assume you already know this since you said the "vocal mix is a little rough."

The solo is a little long but fuck it...I play guitar so I can appreciate it.
 
Interesting

Reminds me of mid nineties music. Breaking the rules a bit. Sounds like bass chords in some spots. You might want to consider some higher vocals on the harmonies. It sounds like the harmony vocals are all mid range. I heard a few mess ups, but overall I like it. Maybe just rerecord it now that you all are more familiar with it.
 
The bass sounds very good and solid on this track.
The vocals at 1:00 sound too loud to me.
I like the feel of the track and the instrumentation... it has a real raw rocking feel to it.

Keep the wankfest too man, that's great stuff! I love extended rocking solos. Sounds good, nice wanking :D

I don't really dig the vocals at the very end. Something just doesn't sit right to me. They sound kind of dull compared to the music or something.

Cool track man! ;)
 
Thanks guys! Yeah, my weak point is definitely the vocals, (performance and engineering) so that's one thing I wanted critiqued. Yeah, there's something weird about those ending vocals, I'm not sure what it is, but there's something funky about it. My voice just sounds really dry, even with reverb, and I'm not sure if it is just my voice or something engineering-wise.

I really wanted to try to get a better bass sound than I had been getting; I just ran a PreSonus TubePre into an RNC, and it turned out way better than when I was using my BBE Maximizer. I don't think I'll use that one much more. :)

Thanks for the replies and advice guys! Keep em' coming!

P.S. - Any Neil Young stuff was completely unintentional. But the relation is not unappreciated. :D
 
I liked it! Although I did notice some noise in the recording, as for the wankfest....the guitar is just an extention of your penis.....keep wanking!!!! You might try to record this again and try to keep an eye on the levels.....jmo!
 
All right, all right. Shameful bump! I have updated the song after a while. I got lazy and never got around to working on it until recently. Here ya go:

Lo-Fi
Hi-Fi
Band Page

I would appreciate some comments on the updated mix. I think I got the backup vocals to sit a bit better, and I got the ending vocals to get a little better, but I'm still having some trouble with them. I forgot to edit out the noise in the bass track before the bass actually comes in. (I got too close to my computer!) Other than that, I think its pretty good.

Thanks, guys! Have at it!
 
I don't mind at all. :D

What I did was I used AKG C430's as a stereo pair in an ORTF setup, probably 5 feet above the ground, 2 feet back from the kit (behind me) aimed slightly downwards towards the kit, A SM57 on snare, and an old onmi radio shack mic for the kick. I am amazed how well that old radio shack mic works on the kick. I compressed the snare with a FMR RNC, and that was it. No other processing, not even eq. Maybe I should've eq'ed a bit, but I think it sounds pretty good as it is now.

There ya go!

Comments appreciated!
 
I'm don't respond to shameful bumps, no just kidding :p

I like your drum sound. Sounds kind of live and raw. The panning and instruments sound good. The vocals sit better in this mix too. Nothing really sticking out at all this time around.
I'm listening on bad headphones, but it sounds like during the wankfest the rhythm guitar on the left ear is a tad too loud... or maybe the electric is panned right a bit too far or something... not sure... I just know the wankfest rocks :D
Yeah vocals sound better in the last section. I think it might be cool to even adding someone yelling higher over that part later on... "GIVE THE MAN A BREAK!!" might sound cool as a mix, just an idea.

Nice rocking mix man ;)
 
Cool, thanks SnakeDog!! I may have to try that high yelling part over the ending. If my voice can handle it, that is. Thanks!
 
I like the guitar playing on this. Good arranging using the best attributes of ac and elec. The gtr solo makes the song, IMO. I'd like to hear bits of the elec gtr between vocal phrases, or doing countermelody work behind it, maybe with a cleaner roundd tone. The vocal's got a lot of personality but is a little wobbly in pitch on held tones... having some tasteful guitar lines supporting might be just what it needs. Drums are very well played. The ac gtrs sound closer than the other tracks to me… you might experiment with putting a bit of small room verb on them to move them back just a bit in the soundstage depth.

Tim
 
The L/R guitars sound great and the bass, but I'd say the snare isn't fitting the mix. The guitars need more verb or clean up the snare. If you added any verb to it I'd drop it back.
Yeah, the vocals are weak, but so what.

Solo is cool.
 
Hi Ted. Well tourettes5139, no one's a true member of the club until they've had a post by Ted in their thread... so now you're in the inner circle, buddy. :D

Tim
 
Thanks guys, for the reviews! Some have said that they like the snare, but I am still working on it; I think it could be even better. There's no reverb on the snare, it is just a crappy snare. Once the song gets going, I think it sounds better, but in the beginning I always cringe a bit. :)

Yeah, I am most definitely not a singer, although you should hear the stuff I tried to do earlier!! :D

I'll try adding some reverb on the acoustic, I bet that would help. I didn't even think about that, I was having trouble with the vocals, and neglected the guitars. It never even occured to me.

Inner circle, huh? Sweet. Thanks Ted.

I may post one more update, that is if the BBS isn't getting tired of hearing this song over and over!

Thanks for the comments!
 
tourettes5139 said:
Hey guys,

Here's one I just did last Saturday, and have been slowly working on the mix, and here is the first one. I would greatly appreciate some advice on this song.

The vocal mix is kinda rough, (well, so is my singing, but thats a different issue!)and my snare drum needs to be dismantled and never reassembled. :rolleyes: Oh, and be warned: the solo is just a total wankfest, in that it is too long, and might be boring to others. I had fun with it though. :D

Lo-Fi
Hi-Fi

If these don't work, try this and choose "Give the Man a Break"
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=411744

Thanks guys! I appreciate it!
Click to expand...

OK, about that snare. :)

Tighten the batter head, tune it up about a fourth. Loosen the snare head a little, tighten the snares a little, and get some muffle going on the top head. Is it a chrome shell?

Oh, but I LOVE the sound you got on the guitar solo. PLEASE tell me how to get that sound. Ya wanker. ;)

Bass is a little wallowy for my taste, but not at all inappropriate or obnoxious. Kinda has a Doors thing going on.

If you do track level mix in the computer, fix the fill at 3:48... It was off enough to be distracting.. My left hand drags sometimes too. ;)
 
Llarion said:
OK, about that snare. :)

Tighten the batter head, tune it up about a fourth. Loosen the snare head a little, tighten the snares a little, and get some muffle going on the top head. Is it a chrome shell?

Oh, but I LOVE the sound you got on the guitar solo. PLEASE tell me how to get that sound. Ya wanker. ;)

Bass is a little wallowy for my taste, but not at all inappropriate or obnoxious. Kinda has a Doors thing going on.

If you do track level mix in the computer, fix the fill at 3:48... It was off enough to be distracting.. My left hand drags sometimes too. ;)
Click to expand...

Thanks for the tuning tips; I will definitely try that out. I can usually tune the kick and toms pretty decently, but I always have a lot of trouble with the snare.

As for the guitar tones, it's all in these magical hands, baby!! :rolleyes:

You're gonna hate me for this, but all it was was a Fernandes Monterey Pro straight into a Crate (Yes you read it right, a Crate!! :eek: ) Vintage Club 50 3x10 combo tube amp, (its a beast!!) with just a 57 up against the grill, off axis about 1" off of the center of the tone. The most cliche mic placement ever, but it worked. I didn't think it was all that special, but hey thanks!! The fill at about 4 min was the main fill that I noticed while listening, but I will check out that one too. Thanks!! I appreciate it!!
 
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