Need honest, brutal criticism

reganito

reganito

New member
Hey everyone,
I'm new to this forum and to digital recording, I've been writing music for a while. There is a lot lacking in my recording technique, and it would be appreciated if a few of you could let me have it. Please listen to a song I recorded and don't be afraid to be brutal. I can't progress if I don't know what to improve. Any help will be greatly appreciated.
 

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in the intro the guitar panned to the right ear is kinda weak. I'd try double tracking it.

Also i'd double track the guitar once the song starts too, before the vocals come through

the kick sounds really plastic to me and the snare doesnt have the crack that i'd like to hear.

and why the odd timed chugs? i understand the idea of originality, but it doesnt seem to be working to my ears.

edit - to me it sounds pretty narrow. i'd try panning some stuff a little more.
 
Thank you for replying. The drums are addictive drums, I just threw an eq and compression on them. The odd time part is a result of me being new to drum programming and putting the snare on the 4. I liked it so I just left it. I will try to fix the sound problems, again thank you for responding.
 
Well I'm glad you said be brutal cos this really really sucks ass.





Nah, I'm just kidding. Overall, sounds pretty good. Vocals are well handled. I think they stand out as sounding very good.

I know the disjointed rhythm in those verses is intentional, but for me it's not tight enough to cut it.

"This can't go on" and "I must move on". The word "on" doesn't fall on the beat properly; Stuff like that.

Easy to fix though since the drums are midi ;) right?

Another big thing that stood out is the compression on the snare. Is that addictive drums built in compressor? If so, I'd relax it a good bit, or output that snare to a new track and use a different comp.
Maybe relax drum compression overall. It's kinda obvious on the cymbals too for me.

But yeah, in general it sounds pretty impressive to me, especially the vocal and guitar performance.
Just tweaks in compression and timing.


Something about the overall sound makes me think of Where the River Goes by Stone Temple Pilots.

That might be a good reference track for you to compare your snare to etc.


Thanks for sharing.
 
It was a compressor that is built into presonus studio one. I didn't really tweak it, just used the preset. I hear exactly what you are saying about the vocal timing. I will try to fix it, maybe nix the off-time part. I have been reaing a lot on this forum about compression and will definately try to fix it. This is a lot harder than it seems, that's for sure.
 
Steenamaroo said:
Lol, your post came in when i was typing. Makes me look like much less of a smartarse! :spank:
Click to expand...

I don't care about smart-assery. I said be brutal, and you were kind enough to check out the track.

I belong to a few forums, so I can take anything the interwebs throw at me without getting butt-hurt;)
 
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HI rehanato. The bass seems a bit boomy. I Like a bit of crunchy top end (around 4 - 6k)hzand a narrower boost doen the bottom (around 90hz - 100hz). Liked the guitar solo.
 
It took a long time for the song to kick in.

I thought the distorted guitars had too much gain. It makes them a little bit thin and fizzy.

What was that at :39? Sounded like an obvious edit and the stereo spread collapses for a few seconds.

Good singing. Good doubling on the guitars. I liked the lead guitar solo.

The song's tempo is haphazzard. To me, the contrasting sections don't work. It moves, it slows down, it moves, it slows down. That's just me though.
 
I know exactly what you are all saying about the "thin" sounding part. What happened was I copied and pasted the part and even though it's panned, it just sounds in the middle channel. Lesson learned, always double the part manually.

Edit: Toad_uk, thanks for the suggestion on the bass. Bass is my weakest aspect behind drums and I need all the pointers I can get. I'm primarily a guitarist, I do the other parts myself because I have no one else to do them. But that is no reason not to get better at them.
 
First, I agree with the comments so far. That said, guitar and vocal talent is great. I just have a problem with the off beat. I would try to tighten that up, almost sounds like one too many beats. Like you said, intentional, but for my taste not my usual.

Great potential though. If my first recordings sounded that good, my years of trying wouldn't still sound like ass. (If an ass is barred in the forest, does it make a sound? Yes sounds like me recording again!!)
 
I think I'll stay away from that kind of experimentation in the future! I litereally wrote this tune as my first ever, non-loop, programmed midi drum track. You said it sounds like one too many beats, and that is exactly what it was. I put three kicks in and then the snare. I posted this particular track because all my mixes up to this point have been similar, and I have received great pointers on this site.
 
Potentially a good tune, and I like the timing stuff...

I'd cut the fuzz level on the right hand guitar only... sounds ok in rhythm mode but lacking a bit of bite in the intro and when it's plays actual notes...

I like the lead, but there's the odd timing issue and the first dual bend you have that sort of unpleasant phasey thing that happens with distorted twin notes...

I'd do serious amounts more work on the drums though... I want to hear Animal going apeshit behind the kit in places with this sort of music... it's all a bit neat and predictable.

Excellent potential though... well done so far!
 
The intro is way too long and goes nowhere. I'm hearing a lot of problems with the timing. When you play slow, it's gotta be tight or it sounds like a mess. The guitars and bass are not tight with the kick. A lot of the stops and starts are really sloppy. Tighten that stuff up. You gotta be able to hear that it's not tight. The faster chorus parts seem better. As for the mix, I think the bass is way too boomy. This would probably sound like a trainwreck on a home stereo or in a car. I don't have a problem with the guitar tones. I don't think they sound too fizzy, but that's personal preference. They sound correct for the style of music. The lead sounds good. Vocals sound pretty good. They could be more up front in the mix. Fix the bass, raise the vocals and rhythm guitars. The drums are what they are - programmed and they sound that way. Not much you can do about that. Software drums usually come pretty heavily processed though, so most of the time people make them worse by adding additional processing themselves. Try to avoid that if you can. Don't EQ and compress just because you think you're supposed to.

Not too bad overall.
 
TripleM said:
I thought the distorted guitars had too much gain. It makes them a little bit thin and fizzy.

Good singing. Good doubling on the guitars. I liked the lead guitar solo.
Click to expand...

I like the vox, and the lead guitar cooks. But the distorted rhythm guitars are scorched. One of the biggest mistakes new recordists make is having guitars too distorted. The recording will "hear" fizzy mosquito sizzle crud that your ears will not necessarily be offended by. It might work in the room standing 20 feet away from the speakers, but the mic next to the grill cloth will pick up all the crap you want and the crap you don't want. The amount of guitar distortion needed to make your point on tape is a lot less than what you would use to make your point on stage. Back off the preamp gain, give it more power, maybe put a clean boost in the fx loop, and use more than one mic to capture the guitar.
 
@soundchaser59 Thanks for your thoughts. The guitars were all direct, which I'm sure adds to the fizziness, but I will try your advice of backing off the gain.
 
The intro is too long. Try some kind of A/B pattern for the syncopation. Good guitar solo. Strengthen the ending with the lyrics.
 
I think the intro has a lot going on so it sounded like an instrumental and I was not worried about vocals being later on...
Your drum programming is meh - I would try and smooth out the choppiness myself. Takes time to get programmed drums right - listen to Joeym's stuff - it rocks! You have the song quality now you just need the drums to smooth out a bit. A+ for the writing playing...
 
I lost a lot of the files from that track so I tried the suggestions you all gave on the next thing I worked on. I know the drums still suck, especially the cymbals, but am I on the right track with the guitars?
 

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