I enjoyed the song very much...it's a great build up with nice melodies. Your voice sounds great, especially when you go higher and really sing out.
Regarding the mix, I think Greg is on the right track. The mix is ok...but it feels washed out or something - I don't have good enough ears to put my finger on why. I think if I was mixing it here in my room, I'd have an overwhelming urge to start reaching for EQ, but that's probably not the real problem. You definitely have sizzle in the hats, especially in the one part where you are riding the open hat. I think the open hat is great there from a production standpoint, but the sizzle is harsh and loud. My ears also want to hear more bass too.
Room is key, but if changing your room is not really an option, I'd maybe start with carving out notches from the various instruments/parts that might be competing and/or build up in the low mids. There's probably a name for that technique...maybe complimentary EQ or something...I don't know for sure. There's mixed reviews on putting high pass filters on everything, but I'd try that too...cut stuff you aren't using down in the low end.
Oh, one more thing that was tweaking my ears - in the beginning, I think around 0:30, you have a really quiet drum part in there. It's so difficult to hear it that it sounds almost like a mistake or like noise. I could see using some percussion there, but I think it would be better if it wasn't hidden so much. Maybe try a different percussion instrument or something, but bring it up the mix so it's contributing.
I'm curious to hear more about your room!
Best,