Mix wise - there's one piano note every so often that is a lot louder than the rest - can you turn that down so it's all even volume?
The strings and the drums are good. I'd like to hear the vocals a little louder - it would help me understand the words better.
For a first try this is great - just tweak the mix a little. I think you have all the right parts, just need to balance it a bit...
Same here - vocals louder. I actually like the delivery - smooth.
Here are a few thoughts on the piano:
1. You are repeating the same melody figure too, try and switch it up with chords - interesting chords. Listen to this tupac track and see what I mean
2pac - I Ain't Mad At Cha - YouTube. The piano on this track is killer.
2. There is something off with the velocity curve on your keyboard, or maybe your technique - that's the note that sticks out that ido is referring to. There's not a lot of feel in the pattern
3. It's got too much verb on it, or the wrong kind of verb
4. It's not a very good piano patch
Not a fan of the string patch and it has too much verb for me
Not hearing a bass - good amount of kick, but no bass
The hi end is kind of plasticy and over compressed.
You have to build the intro into something, IMO it needs to build up and transition to something BIG.
I think you got a good start and all this stuff can be worked on
