My First Song - Perfectionist Beginner Blues (MP3)

[Hakea]

Hi all,

I’ve been yakking away here for a few days now, without once providing any evidence that I know one end of of an instrument from another, or have ever actually written a song.

So I thought it might be time to give you an opportunity to have a laugh at my expense. Clicking on the link below should play the first song that I ever wrote and took all the way to recording. I’d had other attempts before, but only ended up with lyrics, or a bit of half-baked strumming, etc. This was the first one that ever got sung all the way through with the dreaded red light staring at me (And how is it that red recording lights appear to have the ability to roll their eyes, shrug their shoulders and wince, when they have no faces? Huh???)

Gecko ZZed made the point in another post that sitting at a desk with nothing to write about could in itself be something to write about.... A similar thought occurred to me, so this is a song about being a newbie with lots of hopes, fears and ambitions but next to no ability. A song about being no good at songs...

The music is dazzlingly original (NOT)
The singing is very inconsistent
The playing never gets above mediocre
The recording technique is non-existent (press button to start, play like mad, press button to stop). It’s a one shot, no edit take into a tiny built in condenser mic.
Mix? there isn’t one.
The lyrics are...well, I like them. They still raise a smile when I sing along. They poke fun at every element of being a beginner that I could think of (even theory cracks a mention). The many mistakes are genuine and unscripted. So the asides are responses to some of the many things I stuffed up.

The link goes to a ‘homepage’ webspace at my ISP, but if it doesn’t work in some areas I can provide another link.

The song is a couple of years old now, so my skills and knowledge have come on a little bit since then. I could probably do a much better recording now (I’d certainly want to improve the singing considerably). But how much could I (or should I) improve it, seeing as it’s a song about being a beginner with big dreams but small skills?

Perfectionist Beginner Blues

Thanks for listening.

Cheers,

Chris

 

[gecko zzed]

The music is dazzlingly original (NOT)
The singing is very inconsistent
The playing never gets above mediocre
The recording technique is non-existent (press button to start, play like mad, press button to stop). It’s a one shot, no edit take into a tiny built in condenser mic.
Mix? there isn’t one.
The lyrics are...well, I like them. They still raise a smile when I sing along. They poke fun at every element of being a beginner that I could think of (even theory cracks a mention). The many mistakes are genuine and unscripted. So the asides are responses to some of the many things I stuffed up.

Your self-assessment above is highly accurate!

For all that, the song is humorous, clever and entertaining!

I enjoyed listening to it immensely, and it brought a smile to my face as well. There is no small amount of wordcraft gone into the lyrics. While this track is self-deprecatingly droll, I would be interested to hear how your lyrics look when directed to other themes.

But don't give up your day job! (Advice I've likewise given to myself on many occasion.)

 

[Hakea]

Thanks very much for listening and commenting GZ.

I'm chuffed that you enjoyed the lyrics, and were appreciative of the work that went into them. I try and write lyrics that sound reasonably unforced. If I get it right, I'd like it to seem as if the fact that they rhyme is almost just a lucky coincidence, rather than something I tried all that hard at.

Of course, that's not really all that easy to achieve, so it's not always 100% successful. But I do try and bash away at the lyrics until the more obvious lumps have been smoothed out.

I could certainly post more lyrics if you could spare the time to run your eye over them, but the style is usually fairly similar. Sort of folky with attempts at wry humour.

Cheers,

Chris

 

[Hakea]

Here's one in a similar vein. It's about a man looking back at his cock-sure youth and... well, it should be able to speak for itself really. Designed to be sung in a pub with an Irish accent.

It's sung to an arrangement (which sounds better than 'direct rip-off') of the old traditional tune Black Velvet Band.

Bloody Hell! Is That the Time Already?

VERSE 1:

(G) Oh I used to be king of the (C) hill, lads
(G) Always careless and fancy (D7) free
(G) Ride it or drive it, drink it or (Em) smoke..
There was (Am) nobody (D7)madder than (G) me

(G) Life was for living, (C) girls were for loving
(G) Sing it as loud as you (D) can
(G) But somewhere between then and (Em) now, lads
The (Am) clock turned me (D7) into a (G) man

CHORUS:

Oh, the sun shone out of my arse, lads
It was truly a glorious sight
Whenever I took off my trousers
The room would be flooded with light

So great was my rectal illuminance
I could brighten the darkest night
And if anyone said I was handsome
I’d always agree they were right

VERSE 2:

But time can alter your view, lads
And the mirror it tells you no lie
The years have taken their toll, boys
The difference could make a man cry…

Now when I shave in the morning
The face that I see in the glass
Looks more like Keith Richard’s Grandad
With every new day that goes past…

CHORUS:

Oh, the sun shone out of my arse, lads
It was truly a glorious sight
Whenever I took off my trousers
The room would be flooded with light

2nd half of chorus INSTRUMENTAL
(I used virtual trumpets in the recording and was absurdly pleased with the effect)



VERSE 3:

My Mum always said I was smart lads
And I’m not going to say she was wrong
But the man who was top of his class, boys
Can’t remember the words to this song

I.. um.. hang on I’m sure they’ll come back
I knew them this morning by heart
I’m not admitting I’m totally senile
Just beginning to fall.. apart…

CHORUS:

Oh, the sun shone out of my arse, lads
It was truly a glorious sight
Whenever I took off my trousers
The room would be flooded with light

Yet my life has not all been sunshine
Even when I was having a ball
But good times and bad they all have a place
And I don’t regret it at all…

… no, I don’t regret it at all…

© Chris C 2008
(I do enjoy adding that, even though it doubtless doesn't mean much

Cheers,

Chris

 

[gecko zzed]

Again, "wry humour" is an accurate self-assessment!

The lyrics capture that typically sardonic and dry Australian humour . . . a kind of "that ain't a knife" mixture of over and understatement.

Do we have the contemporary equivalent of Banjo Patterson lurking in our midst?

 

[up-fiddler]

The first verse/chorus...

...just knocks me over! You are too critical of your efforts. No, this isn't radio play material. It IS, however, YOU and I like what I hear in you. I would rather listen to several hundred of the "yous" out there than even two hours of pop radio play. Rant begins hereMy ears begin to bleed and my head pounds when I hear pop compression for radio play. A classic example is someone like Jason Mraz. Listen to his radio play version of I'm Yours and his older acoustic version and you will get a sense for what I mean. Very few people would dispute Bob Dylan's claim to songwriting greatness. Very few people would place him in the category of performer or vocalist though. But he does sing like HIMSELF and it is genuine. You sound like you sing like yourself and it is refreshing to me. If we want to be someone else then we should be actors and not singer/songwriters. End of rant

 

[Hakea]

Do we have the contemporary equivalent of Banjo Patterson lurking in our midst?

Nah, that's your job mate... but wrangling words around is a fascinating thing for sure. Thanks for taking the time to read and reply (I've been following the development of your current lyrics, so will try and add some comments later).

...just knocks me over! You are too critical of your efforts. No, this isn't radio play material. It IS, however, YOU and I like what I hear in you. I would rather listen to several hundred of the "yous" out there than even two hours of pop radio play.

Thanks very much for your kind words Up-fiddler - they're much appreciated. I absolutely agree with your assessment of Dylan too. I actually enjoy him as a singer/performer. Many people dislike the timbre of his voice and so accuse him of being a terrible singer, whereas I think his voice works just fine with what he does and he seems to know how to use it too.

Another guy who gets mistakenly accused of having a bad voice is Tom Waits, but if you listen to his amazingly varied catalogue of work his creative range is just astonishing. He can write everything from sentimental ballads (and sing them smoothly and beautifully too) through to grinding out the rawest and weirdest stuff you can imagine (or actually couldn't imagine - because Tom's right out there on his own planet in that regard )

Cheers,

Chris

 

[icystorm]

So I thought it might be time to give you an opportunity to have a laugh at my expense. Chris

Nah, you're too hard on yourself, Chris. This song would fit nicely in a U.S. chain-gang prison movie! I can see Paul Newman performing it in "Cool Hand Luke". I'm serious!

Cheers,
Joseph

 

[Whatmysay]

More 'word wrangling' than a young jackaroo on intravenous Royal Reserve Port. Good fun work here.

Like Gecko I'd like to see what you do with more serious matter, if you do 'serious'?

 

[Hakea]

Thanks for the comments guys.

I mostly seem to go for light humour, but I do sometimes try and mix in something fractionally more 'philosophical'.

Here’s a sample from one written a few weeks ago. It was a response to all those "I hate Christmas" posts. The idea was to contrast the more traditional 'Carols, candles, church and crib' type of Christmas that I remember from from childhood with the more commercial and consumption based style often found today. It goes on to suggest that, whatever our beliefs, we can all still enjoy the celebrations and spread a bit of cheerfulness around.

It's been recorded with some original music that’s played with a mix of strumming and fingerpicking. The breaks between verses are all fingerpicked.

It’s Up To You (sample)

Christmas time is here once more
So what does it mean to you?
Oh what does it mean
What does it mean
What does it mean to you?


Is it drunken Uncles and more cheap crap?
Or Joseph and Mary with a baby in her lap.
Is it dragging out the plastic holly yet again?
Or Joy to the World and Three Wise Men
Is it too much food and beery farts?
Or hope for the future with awe in your hearts
Just what does it mean to you?
What does it mean,
What does it mean,
What does it mean to you?



I also did a semi-serious one a couple of months ago, when the financial world started collapsing. The first couple of verses painted the picture of doom and gloom and the song went on to suggest that when things look bleak turning to music is a good tonic.

It started like this:

Looked in the paper this morning
Shock and horror was all I could see
No bloody joke, there were banks going broke
And the stock market’s down on its knees
Sub primes and margin calling,
Hedge funds and management fees,
Preference shares and bulls and bears
It don’t mean a thing to me...

and finished:

But when the going gets harsh and shaky
Just drag out the Marshall stacks
Turn back the clock and roll out the rock
And crank up the dials to the max
Yes you can’t go wrong with rock-n-roll
When things turn sour and sad
When life looks tough and the going gets rough
It’s the best friend you’ve ever had
Three good chords on six sweet strings
Add a little wailing lead
Lift up your soul with some great rock-n-roll
'Cos it’s all that you’ll ever need.


I didn’t finish recording it yet, but it has a good punchy tune that sings well, and there’s ample opportunity to rock on a bit. Serious? Not really.

Cheers,

Chris

 

[Frankie Rage]

Perfectionist Beginner Blues

I think this is a very good lyric throughout and the tune fits well. As you say yourself, it's not a polished performance guitar wise or vocally, but it's a clever song and very entertaining as Gecko and the others have pointed out.

If it were my song I think I WOULD try to produce a more polished demo of it as I think there is a market for material like this.

The other lyrics you've posted are fine but 'Perfectionist Beginner Blues' stands out, to my mind.

Hey, but I'm only a primitive and don't know a crotchet from a hatchet!

 

[Hakea]

If it were my song I think I WOULD try to produce a more polished demo of it as I think there is a market for material like this.

Thanks for the comments Frankie. Maybe I will do it again sometime this year, even if it's only to improve the vocals. I've alway had a soft spot or that recording though - a bit like the way you tend to feel about your first girl-friend or first car.

Light humour might not be what most would be rockers would be aiming for. But there’s always a market for it. If you can get people’s feet tapping and heads nodding, and make them smile or laugh while you’re at it, then there’s a good chance you’ll get asked back. (From what I've seen you do that too in your writing)

It’s not everybody’s cup of tea - and mine's probably a bit old fashioned - but it seems to be what works for me anyway. Here’s a couple of other examples:

A few years back I got interested in the possibility of writing articles. I had no contacts, no track record, and no idea how you could break in or if it was even possible for an outsider. So I targeted a couple of newspaper columns that would publish unsolicited reader contributions and studied the sort of thing that might suit. Again, I went for light humour, and it worked almost immediately. Over a period of several months my submissions were published numerous times in our national newspaper (The Australian) and I even managed to work my photo in - also in a humorous context. For various reasons I didn’t continue with it, but it was a good lesson in targeting your market and using a bit of amusement to get a result.

Even further back (around 25 years ago) I was involved in a minor way with a local theatre company. My interest in that style of writing was noticed and I was commissioned to write a full length musical comedy for them. I had no musical skills at all back then, so wrote not a note of music for it (others did the music) but I wrote all the libretto - the dialogue, etc. The pay was poor, but the fellowship good. We had a successful run of performances in our State capital and a circuit of country towns. The chance to stand at the back of a packed hall and listen to an audience laughing at a cast of actors and musicians who were bringing my words to life was one I’ll not forget. The pay was secondary.

They then commissioned a second one. This time the pay wasn’t too bad. I used it as a deposit on five acres of land just outside the city. That land is now worth around half a million dollars, and I still live on it. So, hey, I actually did give up my day job for a short while, and it even paid off! Happens occasionally.

Now that I'm finally learning to play I've found a local teacher/friend who has been a professional musician for 40 years. He likes my songs, so I'll take some more lessons from him this year and we'll work through some of them in his studio. Unlike me, he really can sing and play extremely well, so while they stumble along when I do them, they really fly when he’s in the driving seat. I'm not aiming to do anything commercial with them, just learn more about playing and recording... but, hey, who knows eh???....

Cheers,

Chris

 

[Frankie Rage]

I can imagine a fairly serious folk/country performer in mid-act saying something like, "..now here's something a bit different, a song about what it's like when you start trying to do this thang.." and launching into your perfectionist beginner blues song.

It would probably (almost certainly) go down a storm. A bit of humour adds the ever required light and shade, as you say. So I wouldn't let it go if t'were mine. I'd put it on the pile that says: "potential commercial opportunity"

Btw of the several hundred songs/song ideas I have in my kit bag, I think I have probably less than six with any real commercial opportunity. So I'm fairly selective as to what songs I put on that pile!

 

[Hakea]

It would probably (almost certainly) go down a storm. A bit of humour adds the ever required light and shade, as you say. So I wouldn't let it go if t'were mine. I'd put it on the pile that says: "potential commercial opportunity"

Thanks. You could be right. When I first wrote it it was well received, and even apparently ended up on an ipod or two. Another amateur songwriter told me he used to play it while doing the household chores, because he felt that it was something of an 'anthem' that summed up his own erratic journey too.

So far I've just sung it to friends, but this year I'll be working through my tatty pile of songs with a professional teacher/mentor, so it will be interesting to see which ones he picks as being worth shaping up. I must admit, I hope that one makes the cut...

Cheers,

Chris

 

[SEDstar]

...

OK, first thing that wnt thru my head was, "this is like upfiddlers folksy/novelty/humor style... but he said that, so...

next thing that came to mind, was that SOME country singer might lik it fo rits novelty style... wouldnt be a radio hit, but it would be fu to hear on his CD as a lighthearted fun thing fo rhis fans to hear on the CD... bus someone mentioned that, too...

so, I cant really say anything other than I LIKE It. Its a fun/folk/novelty/wry humor thing....

there likely is SOME market for this style, I just know nothing about "the industry" to tell you where to put yur efforts towards it, nor how to "play towards this sound"...

PS - despite everything else you claim is "wrong" with it... the guitar playing has one thing down "pat"... a sense of syncopation. A lot of rhythm guitar players dont have a sense of "syncopation", only of rhythm.

I think they "pick up" a "sense" of syncopation from playing with other guitar players, and from drummers... you already have th sense of syncopation.


I actually find it fun and novel. you making it to "one hit wonder" status before you "make the journey", is not out of the question, if the right singer hears somethign like this from you and likes it.