I like rap when it's done well. But this is not really any good. The rapping skill itself needs a lot of improvement. Try not to sound so tired, and as other people have said, monotonous. Rapping generally has a high energy to it, even if the song is slow, but none of this music seems to have any energy.
The mixing also needs a lot of improvement. The first song had so many effects in the background, it was not very clean. Most rap that I know of uses solid and consistent beats that easily punch through the mix. The vocals should be dry and and tight, probably fairly compressed. Even if the genre is rap, the music composition should still be of high priority. The only difference is you can really use sounds, and instruments to your advantage to create a story.
When is the chorus? What is the mood of that section of the song, in relation to what the person is rapping about? It can all be enhanced with good composition of the background instruments.
I hope you use the feedback the members have been offering you. It's only going to help you. And if you don't, I imagine you will pretty much alienate the people on this forum, and they won't respond to your threads at all.
I will be interested to hear an updated track, once you have put a lot of effort and careful consideration into it.
Good luck!