Movies vs. Real Life

boydrj

boydrj

New member
Hello everyone,

I have finished a new one. This one is kind of me in an observing mode...I wrote it one night after watching the Vietnam movie, "When We Were Soldiers" or something like that with Mel Gibson. It made me wonder how it must be for my Dad, who really went out there...

The song is called Action Star:

http://www.nowhereradio.com/theinside/singles

Any feedback would be great...

Thanks for the listen!
 
Ohh, didn't expect that...

Very neat sound ya got here man. I take that back...this is excellent. Very creative changes and voices. Love it!

Great mix too. No complaints here...sounds great. Some trouble it sounded with the last falsetto lines, but not bad at all!!!

Great stuff

Tom
 
good tune! Nice meat to this recording. No major complaints for once! :eek:

Actually, theres that one part that gets loud before the choruses I guess, it got a bit too hot, and some minor vocal things as SLuiCe mentioned, but I agree the song is quite cool indeed..

Nice tune, and pretty nice mix.. I like the way it starts.. cool changes..
 
Creative. Piano makes the track. Brings it back from the edge of insanity. Some boomy bass notes... but that could just be harmonic resonance in these crap speakers :o Has a Peter Gabriel flavor to it -- Pete Gabriel with an American vocalist. Here's another WATYF would like -- falsetto everywhere! :p :D

Actually, that gives it a Weezer flavor. Another person giving thumbs up to the cool changes!


Chad
 
Well, I listened and was at a loss for constructive words.

I read the other posts to your thread and was at a loss for constructive words.

I plain old liked it:)

I wish I was a better musician. I couldn't write such a song with my little acoustic git, limited voice and lack of fair vision.

Well constructed tune and the mix was pleasing to both ears.


Peace,

Theron.
 
Thanks for the feedback ...

Sluice -- Man, I owe you one! Thanks for the rating! I had a bit of trouble with getting some of the notes on the last chorus because of the key change ... I wasn't really thinking about how I would have to sing it when I wrote it, I just wanted kind of a dramatic jump at the end ... I may revisit this chorus and try re-recording the vocals a bit stronger. Thanks for the feedback!

Sam -- Thanks for your feedback...I worked pretty hard on the mix. I see what you mean about the little bridge going into the chorus...maybe I can eq a bit of it out and balance it better. Thanks man!

Participant -- Thanks for the listen. I kind of mixed the bass a bit out front so it probably is just the mix. Thanks for your feedback!
 
Hey Theron, snuck in there when I was posting...

Thanks for your comments, man! My voice is totally limited, and I actually wrote this on the guitar, but it just translated better to piano. I kind of went for a very produced sound, but it sounds totally different when just played on the guitar (kind of Sting-ish when I wrote it)...Thanks for your feedback!
 
Cool song!

I like the concept,nice of you to write it for your dad.

I'm asumming he is still alive from your post,did he hear it?
He would probably really appreciate it.

Reminds me of the Beatles,White album stuff.

The only things I heard were the verses in the beginning were not as clear as the chorus and the verses at the end.

Great production!

Best to you,
Pete
 
My usual mantra...get the vocals up!
Having said that, I'm blown away by your writing. Music/words fit like hand/glove.
I love it when somebody does a movie that's only three minutes and 29 seconds.
Impressive.

Mark
 
Muze -- Thanks for the feedback! I haven't played this for my Dad yet, but I plan on it soon. Thanks for the listen!

MKG -- Thank you for your kind words. I'm thinking about re-mixing it and maybe bringing the vocals out a bit during the verses. I kind of recorded the vocals a little bit too hot, so that is why I turned them down a bit during the chorus. Maybe I can eq some of that out. Thanks for your feedback!
 
I'm struck by the mood of the tune. I want to compare it to the Beatles and Kate Bush (strange coupling I know). The writing is very intimate and honest, doesn't sound like you had any preconcieved notions about how this should sound, you just went for what came to you. That's a sign of originality in my humble opinion. I love the vocal arrangement, kind of childlike which I think is what you were going for. Very creative.

I like the "sound design" elements a lot. Especially the voices and the helicopter sound in the beginning.

You've got a great drum sound, although some of the snare hits were a little off, maybe it's a quantizing thing.

I would like the vocals too come up a bit so I can make out all the lyrics but as a whole they're mixed very well.

Very original. Great song.

Jon
 
JJ -- Thanks for your reply. It's funny because originally I didn't really have how I wanted the Chorus to sound, I just knew that I would have to add something since the lyric is so basic. I thought about adding more instrumentation, but settled for more voices instead. I played around with it a lot before finally getting that exact arrangement, and it took me a lot of takes to get it down. I play the drums myself, and I'm a bit rusty so I don't think I got it just right, but as long as it works I guess it's okay. The beginning is actually a film projector sound effect, but that is totally cool if it sounds like a helicopter because that probably works better to the concept of the song. I may revisit the mixing a bit to up the vocals. Thanks for your feedback.
 
Wow! Very good tune. Almost in a Super Tramp kind of bigger than life sounding way. Great production on this one. The vocal is low in a few spots and some slight intonation problems in the falsetto's but this is minor. Very good work.
 
Rat -- Thanks for your encouragement! I guess the consensus is to go back and raise the vocals a bit. Thanks for taking the time to listen!
 
boy,

Just listened to this on monitors, and yup... the loud bass was just my imagination :cool: although a couple of issues popped out:

Vocals get lost in the build-ups before the chorus... sounds like the cymbals are the culprit.

Bass seems to be bullying the kick drum a little bit -- taking just a piece of the "thump" out of it. Minor eq adjustment, maybe? I DO love how you've not rolled off the low end of the bass -- makes the room shake ;) (NOT really :) tho it would make a sub-woofer equipped car sound BADASSSSS!)

The outta tune vox pop up here and there, but otherwise -- a very nice, full (excellent) mix. The mix has a fullness I'm dying to approach in my own stuff right now :)

Actually -- the piano (or as mixmkr says "PNO") which was nice & present on the crap multimedia speakers seems a bit lost when hearing it on monitors. Needs some presence or something.

If you're doing anything more with this track, we'd all love to hear it! :cool:


Chad
 
Thanks for the feedback, guys!

Fender -- Thanks for taking the time to give it a listen and the feedback. I am truly humbled by your kind words.

Participant -- Wow, thanks for taking the time to give it a second whirl. After getting all the feedback here, I am definitely going to revisit the vocals during the choruses and try to tighten them up a bit and make sure they are all in tune, even if I have to sing it a hundred more times. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I work on analog equipment, so I don't have the luxury of recording a bunch of takes and piecing them together on a digital recorder. I have to keep going back and trying again hoping that my punch in won't destroy the entire track...As soon as I get this finished and remixed (vocal wise), I'll re-post.

Thanks again for all of your encouraging words!

Later!
 
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