My 2 cents.....
1. Get the drum sounding how you want it first. If you are psyched with how it sounds, you'll play better, and it will record better.
2. Having the mic closer to the beater will give you more attack, as will using a wooden (as opposed to felt) beater.
3. If the drum is tuned looser you will hear more of the slappy attack, if it's cranked up you will hear more of a defined, sustained note. Personally I like to crank it pretty tight and then put a pillow or something in to control the ringing. It depends what kind of music you're playing-if you're in a metal band the ringy sustained sound isn't really gonna work, just like a clicky bass drum sound would be out of place in a jazz band.
4. Be careful with the EQ. You shouldn't really have to add too much low end if the drum is tuned and mic'd correctly. Likewise you shouldn't have to add tons of high end just to hear it in your mix. A little boost in the highs usually sounds cool though. Concentrate on the mids-I usually cut around 340Hz, but it can range from 200-500 or so. But be careful to listen to what you're doing, too much of a cut at lower frequencies and you'll have nothing but wimpiness, and too much of a cut at the higher frequencies can take all the warmth out of the drum and make it sound really artificial. Listen to your other drum mics too, and see how much of the kick is getting into those. You may find your overheads are picking up a lot of low end boom from the room and maybe this is clouding your overall drum sound. Or maybe that boom is what's making it sound huge. It all depends on the song.
5. Pay attention to phase when you record. Make sure your overheads are in phase with the kick (and all other) mics.
6. People have different opinions on compressor settings, but here's what I like:
a pretty slow attack time (100ms or so) and the fastest release time possible. You want the long attack time because the transient is what gives you the punch, and with too quick an attack time that's what you'll be compressing. Bad Bad Bad! I usually use about a 4:1 ratio. Since the attack time is so long I generally have to use a pretty low threshold...around -20 I think. As long as you have a compressor with adjustable attack/release times you should be able to get some kind of good results. Just mess around with it, you'll be able to hear when it sounds good and when it sounds like a deflated basketball.
Hope this helps. Sorry for going on so long.