well, I'm no film asfisci.... whatevers, but I like this short. No comments on the mix, but I think the video editing is good. Nice effect with teh fast tracking stuff. I like the use of lighting, almost film noire, except with color. The time given to the black screen at the end could have been devoted to something else. A little creativity there, c'mon...
By the way, the music is by Kevin Macleod. He gives out royalty free music free of charge. I didn't feel like making the score myself so I just used his music.