I Don’t Want Your Number

[Irwin abrigo]

I am hoping this song I've written and produce is pleasing to you guys, if not I would like to know has to which directions I can take to make this song a better sounding song over all especially the phrase "I don't want your" I put into the first verse and the choruses, doesn't work for you guys?

I Don't Want Your Number by Freshairsongs | Free Listening on SoundCloud


I Don’t Want Your Number
©2020 Irwin Abrigo
-
You give me your number
asked me to call you
My troubles on your shoulders
Worries in your pocket
I needed a lover
someone who will always be there
We’re bridging into each other
Weather in the night or in the day

But when I called your number
there was a woman on the line
Who claims to be your wife
she kelp talking the whole time
I can hear you in the background
pretending to be cool
With Lots and lots of denials
she said you took her for a fool
-
(Chorus)x2
I don't want your number, anymore
I’m throwing it through the window don’t come knocking at my door
-
(Verse 2)
You told her you're merry
you’re not devoted
That's what I hear her saying
the vole has been broken
I heard you were talking
saying this house is our home
Your voices were getting stronger
Louder as I listen on the phone
-
(Chorus)x2
I don't want your number
anymore
Throwing it through the window don’t come knocking
at my door
-
(Bridge)
You lied to me
you lied to me
You said you were alone
you had nobody
You lied to me
you lied to me
You said you were lonely
you were lonely like me
-
(Chorus)

 

[grn]

The vocals are a little loud on this in comparison with the backing track. I would try to line them up a little bit more with the beat. Timing and locking everything in with the beat is going to be crucial. I'd also experiment with a few different reverb effects on the vocals and the backing tracks - it sounds like they were recorded in different spaces.

The sort of faux-harp sound at the end is a bit loud as well. I'd focus on getting the timing fixed on that as well and really solidifying a part. Again I'd experiment with different sounds here or apply some effects to the sounds you do have to make them sound more unique.

I think it would help if you focus on the structure of the song itself as well and eliminate any unnecessary parts (possibly the ending?) and only leave the strongest sections intact.

 

[ajsajs]

The vocals could use a bit of work I think... it feels a bit in the background (while the piano in my left ear feels very much in the foreground). Maybe "I dont want your" could have vocal doubles to add emphasis? Would love to hear more low frequency/bass sounds fill the empty bottom as well. Feels a bit disorganized at the ending (things are not quite in sync/tempo).