Help me fix this song.

H

Hardcore

New member
I'm looking for some input on "Worship Sorrowful Grief". If you have any ideas on how to improve it let me know. I'll say this right now, the vocals are pretty crappy. Also any other comments in general, good or bad.

Listen to my other tune while your there. In case you want to know, I am new here. I've been living over at the VSPlanet for over a year and decided to broaden my horizons.

Check my Tunes!
 
Hmmm... After listening to this song a couple times now I have to say this.

Mix wise:

The guitars and bass sound good and fit well together. Pretty nice guitar work overall. The drums need to be panned better. Ride and hi-hat especially. I hear the crashes are panned a bit. Also add some high to the cymbals so that they don't sound like trash can lids slapping together. The ride sounds pretty crisp, but the hi-hat and crashes are very dull. If these are samples, which they sound like, I would get new crash and hi0hat samples. Vocals are at a nice level "volume wise" and fit nicely in the mix. There are A LOT of intonation problems in the vocal part though. Almost sounds like you are singing out of your range down there, but I can tell it is most likely where you sing, because your voice thins out a bit as you get higher in range.

Song wise:

This may sound harsh but your song just drones on and never has any climactic moments whatsoever. You don't have a chorus to your song. It is more like a bridge or something. I realize this is supposed to be sad or emotional or somthing, but that doesn't mean it has to just drone on and on with no change. Give it a catchy chorus or change it up somehow. Even folk songs have choruses, if thats what you are going for. MOST IMPORTANTLY! Give this song a beat. I want to hear a SNARE DRUM. I want to be able to pat my foot to something.

Ok you probably think I am an asshole now, but I am just giving you my opinion. I listnened to your other song too even. I'll give you my opinion on it later if you want.

Just trying to help you out. . .
Beez
 
Those drums have been fixed since, except the cymbals. There's not much I can do with those (fake drums suck!). The snare I used on that gets totally lost in the mix. There really is one in there. Really.

And yeah, the vocals are out of range. That's pretty much the part I'm going to be working on. Too low. Also a little boring. I think I'm going to basically rewrite the whole thing and start them all over rather than try to fix what I've got. I'm also planning out cutting it quite a bit and shortening it up. It can get a little long.

And feel free to give me your opinions on "In Death...". I'm always interseted to hear what people think. Good or bad. Don't feel to bad about ripping on my tunes. Generally that helps me out the most. Maybe not on that particular song all the time, but it really helps out on future songs. Thanks for the input.
 
cool song and a decent mix, but it sounds like you forgot to put the snare in.. it's like hearing the drums with the snare muted.. I like the mood of the tune, but not crazy about how the cymbals sound in the mix.. this would sound good with vocal harmonies.. a few minor pitch issues on the vocals, but not as bad as you made it sound..

I like the tune, but the drum beat needs help.. the sounds aren't bad though.. I would lower the crash cymbals..

or not..
 
Yeah I know dude, the crash shreds the ears. I think I need to give that it's own track and eq the hell out of it. (I'm lazy and generally only record the drums to two tracks.) I can lower the volume, but that's only part of the problem.

Edited for this:

I could have sworn there is snare there but I listened to that version and I think you're right. I might have turned it off or something.
 
If you could replace that drum track with another set of samples it would really help out a lot. I`d bring some higher freq`s in on the bass and cut some of the lows and let the kick do more of the thump. These guys pretty much covered the rest. IF you kept these samples on the drums maybe you could put a tiny bit of 'verb on them except the kick and smooth them a bit. A touch of mid on the guitar would stand it up a little bit more . What kind of machine are you using for the drums?
 
I'm using a DR-770. I've got the kicked fixed, I think. Just not on these. I added some thump to it. Unfortunately the cymbal choices on this machine are pretty weak. And the only eq I did so far was a high frequency eq cut on the bass to get rid of very audible and annoying string click.

The cymbals on this machine annoy me so much that I went out looking for a drummer. I've got someone lined up for a future project but right now I just want to get this first album done. And plus since these are the first songs I've written, I kind of wanted to keep it all to myself. Thanks for the feedback.
 
'by all means! If these are your first, they are very good. :) I`d keep em too. Its help you measure your journey. I dont know about your software or hardware, but if you have soundfont or sample capability, there are many pickings out there on the web of drum samples, especially cymbals. Perhaps you could track them separately and get what your looking for.
 
Right now I don't have any computer software to speak of (ntracks to assemble the cd, that's it). I record and mix everything on my Br-8. I unfortunately don't have any way to do that or any funds to acquire the necessary software. But I'll live, I guess.

And that's a big part of why I'm doing this myself. I want to track my improvement. I also did a painting for the album cover for the exact same reason. I know people who could have helped me out with pretty much all of it, including artwork, but there's times when you just want something all to yourself.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top