For Darwin: no, there's no such thing as a half-normal XLR patchbay. I'm not aware of any female XLR jacks that have the switching means necessart to do normalling. The Neutrik combo connectors do, but the contacts only switch when you insert a 1/4" TRS plug into them. Nobody has ever developed that capability in a straight XLR, and it's not clear that you'd really want to- XLRs are used primarily for mic level signals, and you really won't want normalling contacts in that path if you can avoid it.
Normalling really implies TRS- whether 1/4" or bantam-sized. Sorry about that...
And yes, solder lugs in back is the hot setup. You really don't want any more plug/jack pairs in your signal paths than you can help. Normalling contacts on real (telephone-type) patchbays are usually a palladium alloy, and they are designed to mate with a sliding action and wipe themselves clean with every mate-demate cycle: similarly, the contact fingers that contact those funny-shaped plugs are set up so that they wipe a clean contact patch every time. Regular 1/4" TRS jacks may or may not wipe well on the plug (to get oxides, skin oils, and spooge out of the way), but their normalling contacts are just vertical-moving switch contacts, and they really don't wipe well enough to be reliable in the long term.
The longframe telephone-style bays were designed for reliable operation over million-cycle lifespans, and the regular TRS jacks just aren't as robust. You can certainly make a case that none of us will live long enough to put a million cycles on our patchbays, and buying the extra reliability is a waste of money... but I hate those intermittent crunchies with a passion. Give me solder joints and telco-spec connectors whereever possible, just so I don't have to worry about them!