First Submission! Abandoned (WIP)

jaykeMURD

jaykeMURD

I sit on you.
Yep, I've finally gotten around to posting some lyrics.

This is a fresh one, just started piecing it together today.
A lot of the parts may seem boring, but I think this song may be better suited in musical form.

Anyway:

ABANDONED

_V1_
Why does it hurt
why do we bleed
we all suffer indifferently

In our hearts the same
seeking only love
we drink from the same cup
and sleep under the same old sky
nothing changes yet we still wonder why

_Chorus_
In my soul
I feel it die
the weight falls on me
I cant make it through
the colors strip my mind
we're the adandoned now

_V2_
This justice we make
is all just the same
Any verdict we place is nothing in the end

Can't you see it now
no penalty on this Earth
will suffice for these crimes
not a lifetime will due
they're sentencing you
better pack up your bags
I can feel it

_Chorus_
 
It's very dark (not a bad thing!). Not boring. I hesitate to ask what lies behind it tbh. Anyway, it's powerful.

One or 2 bits confused me. What does "the colors strip my mind" mean? Why do we suffer "indifferently"? If we don't care, does it hurt?

The first verse ends with 2 lines that rhyme with an early part of the chorus. This could be good or bad, depending on how you do it.

Have you any music? It would be good to hear it.
 
Yeah it's kinda heavy and dark - suited to hard rock, metal or something heavy like that. Although you could write any genre that's just what comes to mind when I read it.
It's good - lots of feelings radiate from the words....it stirs emotions which is what music is supposed to do....cool..... :cool:

Keep us posted as to updates/music.

:) :D :) :D
 
Thanks guys, appreciate the feedback. I don't normally write things this dark, it's just what came out. Oddly enough, some of my best (in my opinion) songs are "darker" in nature..... oh well..

I do have guitar arranged somewhat, but I haven't had a lot of free time latley. I plan on recording some of most of it this Sunday.

As for your questions Freddy:

What does "the colors strip my mind" mean?

Well, that's a tough one. It's a metaphor, in essence. You're lost, adandoned, and you're falling into the dark. The "colors" are the "emotions" and "feelings" that "strip" or eat away at your thoughts in this process.

Why do we suffer "indifferently"?

Indifferently can mean multiple things. True, it can mean without care, but in this sense I meant it as suffering comes to anyone and everyone at some time. It's "indifferent" to all the different people. Rich, poor, Christian, Muslim, etc.
 
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