First ever song! Would love to know what you think! :)

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Try this link!

A little editing makess it work ;)

Nice little song. I'm not really educated to comment on the recording/mixing/production as I'm a beginner myself but I quite liked the song.
 
Sounds nice! Your voice needs to be pulled up a bit louder. Its being covered up by the music in a few places.
I like the melody and your singing is unique!
 
It sounds like a nice mellow ballad, keyboard backing is solid and the vocal comes through well. Good work!
And the vocal remind me a lot of Kasey Chambers, an Australian alt Country singer.
 
Whoa, the opening notes freaked me out, I thought for a moment I forgot to plug in my headphones and that I'm blasting away on the speakers (its quarter to 1 a.m. where I live) - my compliments on the use of reverb if it was a creative choice (and not part of the keyboard preset). Apart from that, it was really kind of forgettable I thought. Maybe one thing that stood out was the unusual vocal rhythm in the first bars, but it didn't really hold my attention for too long. Though there are a couple of plosive blasts on the mic (my pet peeve when it comes to recording), the mix holds together remarkably well, and the vocals are actually really good, i.e. sung in tune, with a degree of feeling etc - stuff that should be taken for granted in a way, but that lots of recordings fall short on.

Mr Clean said:
Try this link!

A little editing makess it work ;)
Click to expand...
How in the world did you reconstruct the link from that?!
 
Nice!

1st considerations for kicking this one up:

Melody: the tune tends toward forgettable, as said above, because the melody is not strong, generally.....locked into scale-like movement....words crammed sometimes, and the melody diddles along to let them be sung: classic error, letting lyric's syllables drive the melody. Fit new words that say the same thing to a better melody your soul makes when listening to the changes.

Time: sometimes the pulse is ambiguous.....it needs stronger cues....it's very easy for a listener to lose the beat....the vocal is throwing false clues...and/or there was no metronome used, and parts are actually coming in off the beat. [didn't check...but I did get thrown off.]

Changes: there's a semi modulation at the outtro. If you could use some of that on the choruses throughout the tune, it would cure some of the forgettableness by breaking the parts into more recognizable things...and an upward modulation would add power where you want it to be. Then go back to the main key for verse that follows, fer instance.

A really good effort, and enough goodness to work with, exercise, tweak, and re-arrange into a fabulous song. The task is to learn the techniques and forms of great, soul-searing song. Start listening to the music you love, instead of just hearing it. Think about parts that sweep your senses up....replay, figure out why.....incorporate the techniques into your own arrangements.

added: you're 18.....maybe you should consider taking some lessons on piano, or learning some stock classical or pop pieces to groom your ears to strong chordal motion and structure?? The backing piano could use some strength and pointedness to drive the work harder in some places. I'm not suggesting theory classes, circles and arrows, numbers and letters; just some ear exercise to bring you to an 'in-the-bones' feel of what sounds really good...while applying new sounds you learn into your original compositions through the next few years.

There are some other things I'd like to suggest....but try melody, time, and changes, first!
 
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jeffmaher said:
you're 18.....maybe you should consider taking some lessons on piano, or learning some stock classical or pop pieces to groom your ears to strong chordal motion and structure?? The backing piano could use some strength and pointedness to drive the work harder in some places. I'm not suggesting theory classes, circles and arrows, numbers and letters; just some ear exercise to bring you to an 'in-the-bones' feel of what sounds really good...while applying new sounds you learn into your original compositions through the next few years.
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A third alternative to try out (along your very valid suggestions) is simply writing lots of songs with a certain goal in mind, like "I want to sound it kinda like X", or "convey emotion Y" and trying to be aware of the writing process and what each decisions means for the song. Thing is, arriving at solutions on your own, or simply by trying to work out how the writers of a song that you know and appreciate did something and seeing what it means to you in the context of a specific song you're working on, was for me a better learning experience and much more rewarding than simply taking a MIDI file and looking at it, I learnt a lot about myself as musician.
 
Thank you so much to everybody for your wonderful input and suggestions, I'll definitely take them into consideration.

What do you think about making it a duet or do you think it is ok just as a solo? Would love to know what you think!

Thanks again, I appreciate your feedback.
 
stellina91 said:
Thank you so much to everybody for your wonderful input and suggestions, I'll definitely take them into consideration.

What do you think about making it a duet or do you think it is ok just as a solo? Would love to know what you think!

Thanks again, I appreciate your feedback.
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This is really good. And >> don't make a duet.
They suck as usual.
Have you produced everything yourself?
It sounds pretty experienced, not really like the very first one.

sikter
 
I've worked with a few singers that actually only had to do 1 or 2 takes, and they just naturally sang in key pretty much perfectly with little rehearsal. Most people have to do dozens of takes to get it right.

The ones who naturally just sang good didn't need to really do much to their recordings and it just fell in place with no recording experience. It makes me wonder if that was the case with this song or if she just got lucky.
 
stellina91 said:
Hey guys,

I'm an 18 year old singer/songwriter. Would love to know your thoughts on this, this was the first song I have ever written. It may not be perfect but I think it's not bad for a first try. You can listen to it here -

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=1019525&content=songinfo&songID=8791220

Any feedback/comments are greatly appreciated. Thanks!
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I do not believe you. This may be the first song you ever WROTE...as in lyrics, yourself, but it sure is not the first try of the first song you ever wrote music for, lyrics for, played, sang, and recorded yourself. You got help, honey.

My critique would be to pay more attention to the flow of the song, the phrasing, and the feel. Where does it want to take you as a listener? Ups, downs, pauses, time changes. Intesity changes. Otherwise it sounds like a few minutes worth of something that could be done in 20 seconds.

That said, keep workin. I liked your voice. I liked your emotion.
 
Not bad for a first recording... I'd be interested to know what mic you used for your voice. To be completely honest, it sounded very nasal-ish. Not sure why... It may be the mic, it may be your voice... Either way, I'd do something about that. Sing more with your diaphragm than your head, if possible.

The music itself was pretty well recorded, IMO. Pretty simplistic, but for a first recording, this is stellar.
 
It's a good song and well sung. Enjoyed it.

This would be perfect IMO if it was done with no autotune artifacts, and a little more skillful mic technique - backing off from the mic when you sing loud, getting close when you sing softly, and perhaps a natural sounding acoustic piano.

One other thing. The posts by Stellina91 sound too PR savvy to be an 18 yr old, heh. Same with the threads at the other 4 or 5 recording sites this song's been posted to in the last few months, including Gearslutz under two different user names, heh. So if this is being posted by someone helping Ashleigh out, just say so, dude.:D
 
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