I like that, Lee!
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Since you just started..
At 0:29....just before the verse, the "Ohhh Ohhh's" stop...and there's a gap....and that's right where the hook...or a hook...in the "OhhOhh' melody should be the strongest...Maybe edit vox parts and construct something to really announce the verse?? It happens through the song...and it's a dead spot...in the worst place. Another option would be to snip the two measures.
At 0:43 there's an example of a repeated dead spot between vocal lines
...a really good spot to put a feature instrument line or device to 'answer' the vocal...and keep the momentum of interest, I reckon.
One other small thing...at 0:02 and 0:09...examples of the bass playing a b7 in the bass...which plays against the opening G....with a very 'major' sound. It fits as the b3 of the next chord, D-, but sounds a little ornery flowing off the G. I think it would sound real slick by playing F# ,the 7th, and the b7, F, in the bass...in the same space occupied by the one F note....a little leading in the bottom to direct the ear. It's the only spot where I thought there might be a harmonic error....but it's not a bad one...and even could qualify as one of those quirky devices. Just it sounds wierd to me for the bass to play that F before the guits get to the D-.
That leaves the panning. The bass and drums sound kinda lonely in the middle. There's room for some meat and pahtaytahs in their company...some midrange stuff to complete their pic and drive the CTR.
Either the Guit R moved close to CTR, or the vocals fanning out from CTR would do it.
Personally I'd like to hear the guit R real close to CTR...it's the driver in the mids. Real important, I think.
It's a good work. Gots lots of melody, time-chug, and some nice changes and vocal ideas. Un-pretentious, and free of 'dig me' projectile vomit. I like that. You should be in the top ten tomorrow....listened about 5 times!
Please post as you go! I learn a lot listening to the evolution....