CCM Love Song

dafduc

dafduc

New member


25th Anniversary coming up - here's something I wrote for her a few years ago. My pal Mike Buhagiar cut the guitar solo remotely (Strat ->Roland Amp Sim -> VS-840 -> SPDIF in) - I assembled it from his 3 keeper tracks.

The rest is moi - I'm not real happy with the vocs, not that the track wasn't accurate enough (it's as close as I'll get) or that my tone sux (it does, but I've come to terms with it :( ), but my delivery was a bit too subdued, I think - probably because so much of it is low in my range. I think I have a better take in me, but subsequent takes tonight were getting worse instead of better, so I hung it up.

Percussion, bass, and rhythm guitar are loops, but, as usual, heavily reworked. Subbass is a sample, ep is my EVP73. Vocs into a Blue Baby Bottle, autotuned ( :o ), with a slapback echo and 10db 5:1 compression. I used Autotune's auto doubling technique - dup the track, autotune one, pan and fade them differently. Slightly different slapback on each track, too. Net effect is a heavily effected sound, but I a/b'd it with the dry track - trust me, it's an improvement, i.e., it sucks less. Also compressed the whole mix, the pulled back 1db.

Song is based on Song of Solomon (aka Song of Songs) from the Old Testament, and St. Francis' Canticle of Brother Sun. A little formulaic, but a lot of metaphorial stuff comparing a marriage to gardening. She's a gardener, I think she got it.

Any feedback, as always, is appreciated...:cool:

Daf
 
Daf,
Your musical style reminds me a lot of an old friend of mine I haven't seen in a long time. I really like the song, I'm sure your wife does too.

bd
 
Daf whats up? This is not up to your usual standard but it is a work in progress Right? timing seems a bit loose in spots and the vox is kinda dry. Song of Soloman eh, fun book to study as a couple. 25 years! so youve probably just about got it down :)

I should probably go apply some wisdom I got from that book instead of sitting here typing :)

Congratulations on the 25.






Peace
Bill
 
Hi Daf,
Nice spin on CCM.....
sort of R&B....Latin groove going on....cool music...

Bass is way to heavy at the beginning man....then it gets too soft....weird.....percussion sounds good...especially the conga drum....nice panning on the percussion...I like it...
the vox is way low man....don't be afraid to turn it up....it should be the spotlight of the tune....tone sounds ok....harmony vox will help for sure....
the electic guit starts wicked sloppy....but has cool licks for sure...
this is where the timing goes flooey......everything else is fine timing wise to my ears...
The synth is played extremely well but I don't like the voice....maybe some volume up there too....

This is definitely worth working on some more man...

Take it easy,
Joe
 
Hey Daf!

The song has a nice groove, and it definitely has a nice
sing-along hook.
The vocal delivery is the biggest issue here, methinks...
It sounds very tentative, and seems to lack the emotion that I know you are capable of putting behind it.
When you feel up to it...Close your eyes, throw your head back, and GET INTO IT!

The loops are a little "loopy"...The conga hits are sporadic, and placed in off places at times.

On the plus side? That is a great smoky sounding Rhodes-Type sound you have going on, and it fits the feel of the song perfectly.

If you could add harmonies at the "Arise above us..." part, that would really add to the song. But if you sing harmonies like I do, then that is not gonna happen anytime soon. :D

Don't abandon this song...You're a professional, and I know you will take these comments and use them to post a killer version of this tune.

NOTE TO ALL READERS:
You CAN have a very good personal friend and NOT lie to him!
Always be biased in your opinions of your friends, but let em' have it if you need to!

(Love ya, daf...)

:D
VI
 
bd - Thanks! Yeh, she liked it a lot. We used this in my old ministry as a wedding song - couples seemed to like it a lot too. Just piano and soprano when we did that...

boyd - boy that's some long dialup...;)

Bill - can you be more specific? The bed for this (bass, percussion) got laid down a few years ago, when I first got my cpu setup. I added EP later, and then rhythm guitar loops and subbass about 6 months ago. Lead guitar and my vocs were just this week- there's a soprano vocal version floating around, too. So yeah, it's been in progress for years, but I was hoping it was close to done...:(

Anyhow, the lead guitar timing was exactly what I was hoping for (think Foreigner's Hot Blooded), and the loops are sorta pretimed (maybe they're not all compatible with each other?), so the only stuff I actually played was the subbass and the EP, plus of course the vocs. So if you can help me figger out where the timing problems are, I can see if they're fixable. I've already got the slapback going on the vocs - I could try some verb, see if it helps.

As far as "not up to" my usual standard, I was really green when I set this up, but I still kinda liked it, and am not sure what I would change knowing what I know now. If you have suggestions, I'd love to hear them. Thanks for the listen.:cool:

Joe, my brother - what synth? Do you mean the EP? The voicing on the EP? Wanna make sure I understand. The bass - as I mentioned, I've got two bass tracks going, a subbass, and an acoustic bass loop. Acid doesn't handle repitching / retempoing real well on bass loops, so I got a lot of artifacts and lost a lot of bottom. So I added subbass to punch it up, but decided to use it for choruses only, after I played with it a little for verses and couldn't make it work. It is REALLY pushing the volume envelope though, so maybe I could pull it back a little to make it a less obvious difference. Thanks for your input - it means a lot.

Dougie - yeah, that was my thought too - really needs another vocal take. Emo content just wasn't there. It appears I need to work on my diction, too - the line is "Arise, Beloved...":D I think I'm with you on the loopy stuff, too - maybe I'll play with the volume envelope a little, see if I can get it a bit more realistic. Those conga hits are right where the conga player put 'em, but they do sound late - mebbe I'll nudge 'em a little, if they're on their own track - I disremember. Thanks for chiming in.

That's two votes for background vocs, too. I'll see if I can come up with something - no promises.

Thanks again, all y'all. Probably no fixes til the weekend. Still waiting for boydrj's review, and anyone else who'd care to chime in.:)

Daf
 
Happy 25th daf and family!

I thought this sounded kind of classy.
I think the recording probably needs refinement on a few different levels but the passion is REALLY there in this one:D
I heartily approve:)

Dan
 
daf,
CCM...I was like I know there was CCR but who is CCM? :) Don't worry I got it after a minute or two. I am a little slow. :)

I like the vibe a lot. Unique song and feel, especially for this genre. Well, at least I think it is unique from very limited experience. :)

I think others have covered the issues very well. New vocal take should improve things for sure. I liked the congas sound wise. I thought they might have been a little loud. They drew my attention a little too much (on headphones). You could just try a little/more verb on them to set them back some.

Nice work.
 
Cool vibe

The vibe just won't stop in this tune - gets you inside the rhythm. The subbass is really cool for me - I likes them deep notes that nobody can sing. I didn't catch any out-of-time rhythm - it's pretty complicated at times but that's not a bad thing. The vocal is as you say - but I think you have a perfectly timbred voice for this kind of tune - I agree with VI - go for it!
Love the Rhodesy-sound!!
Really nice tune - nice writing!!
~Milan
 
dafduc

This is a very nice composition you have put together with loops and such. I am amazed at what can be done with software these days being an old school analog die-hard myself.

The bass or "sub" bass as you called it sounds a little too loud in the mix by a db or two. All the other instruments sound pretty well balanced in the mix.

The vocal does sound a little muted and restrained in its performance. Perhaps a bit of brightness in the the top end would allow it to stand on equal ground with the other instruments which are all clear and upfront in the mix.

Nice job over all!

Cheers! :)
 
i like the music a lot. very groovy. really like the rhodes. did you play those or are they loops too?

i can't really hear the vocal too well. maybe ditch the autotune double thing, it sounds weird.

good song, catchy chorus.
 
oh yeah! right after the guit solo, I could hear a 3 or 4 part harmony vox nearly a cappella (is that a word- nearly a cappella?)
this would also add some contrast by braking up the groove for a few bars

definitely would benefit from harmony vox here and there

cool groove
 
Hey daf, nice stylistic approach this wasn't at all what i was expecting. Your vox I don't think were as bad as you were saying but i think they SCARED me, your voice sounds strange to me slightly (this is good because it made it more interesting).

Kinda groovy stuff for being about bible passages ehh? Well if you made it for a babe power to ya.
 
Hevy - thanks for the props. I'm not hearing the passion on the low notes, though - this'll definitely get a retake this weekend.

skids - thanks, man. I'll try pulling the congas back and/or verb, see how it goes.

MCG - thank YOU! I really dug the subbass too. Everything my kids listen to has it, I figgered worth a try. And the Rhodes has always been my premiere axe. Just wait til I get the real one moved into the new studio!!!

Ghost - I'll definitely pull the sub back a bit - damn monitor-ones fool me every time. Next take, I'll listen to the voc EQ before I finalize - I think the muffling was more a delivery thing. Thanks for the feedback.

Eric - Nah, I played the rhodes - or I played the oxygen-8 into the EVP73.:D Next vocal take I'll start dry again - but I'll do the doubling again if it's an improvement. Thanks for listening.

elephant - Thanks. I tried to keep the rhythm varied by pulling the guitar in and out, and by just running drums and subbass on the chorus - but I'll try a full breakdown, see how it sounds. Good idea. Still thinking out harmony stuff, dunno if that'll happen or not.

Khompy - Yeh, Solomon got his freak on, huh? But... strange and scary vocs on a love song are a good thing? You're a wild man!!! Seriously, thanks for the listen.

boydrj must still be drinkin, ya think? Too bad, this song could go great at his kid's wedding...:D

Daf
 
dafduc said:


boydrj must still be drinkin, ya think? Too bad, this song could go great at his kid's wedding...:D

Daf
Click to expand...


:D ha ha ha :D Finally sobered up! And just found out we get to meet the new "in-laws" in a few weeks, so I guess I'll be drinking again! ;)

Alright, finally got a chance to listen. Damn, this is a fine arrangement. You keep it moving right along, very good instrumentation. It kept my attention all the way through.

I only read your original post, not all the replys, so I may repeat something. It sounds like the vocal needs some eq on it to give it a bit more "sparkle"...I'm listening with headphones and I'm having to strain just a bit to make out the vocal line.

I really like that electric "wurtzler" piano sound on there. I'm actually getting really into that sound (kind of cool retro, or is it retro cool?)...Nice samples and good use of them throughout. The bass is very well defined in this tune, and I really like the sound you have on there.

I think your vocal is fine, maybe just a tad waverly for this type of tune...but it gives it kind of a cool vibe. Just needs to come up in the mix, and maybe some of the bottom end of it needs to be taken down just a tad ...

I wrote a song for my wife once, but it is way too schmaltzy for me to share here on the board (blush, blush) ... but she seemed to like it okay. :)

:D
 
Thanks for the listen, Rob.

The vocs need another take, is what they need - I'll see if I can sparkle some more.:rolleyes: And the "waverly" thing - I HATE that, and can't get rid of it. Once my vocal lessons start in earnest, that's goal # 1 for me. Ecch. Oh, and it's Rhodes, not Wurly, but I get em mixed up sometimes too. ;)

Daf
 
Wow... some serious sub-bass stuff... love the arrangement... like a great big foundation, and small flavors & slivers of frequency here and there on top...

Kinda reminds me of a really loose Madonna song... or something... (a Michigan connection, maybe?) ... la Isla Bonita...

Nice guitar work (for a keyboard player :D)

seriously... nice licks ;)

For some reason, some of the percussion doesn't seem synced up... in places... or something is early/late in the beat... could it be the egg? :eek:

Have ya thought about backups, with some alternate lyrics? Something to play off the lead vocal... shake some things up...

Nice job, Ivory D :)
 
nice tune daf. I thought the percussion was right on and really fit the tune. I didn't see anything wrong with the vocals and I think the subdued delivery worked well. the one thing I noticed is the the bottom was real heavy at first, then dropped off shortly after 1:00 the came back at about the right level for the remainder of the song.

I liked your guitar solo and tone, what kind of distortion is on the guitar?

I enjoyed the listen and i like the lyrics
 
Chad - thanks, I think. La Isla Bonita??? Yeah, there's this relaxed backbeat on one of the conga parts that really sticks out as being late hits. I might try editing the loop, see if I can tighten it up a bit. Not me on guitar, it's a non-HR buddy. Good singer, too, mebbe I should try to get him to do some more stuff. Back vocs are possible, but probably not this weekend.

Jimi - thanks. Mike's playing a strat into a Roland amp sim, forget which setting he was using. The bottom has two parts - subbass, and a string bass kind of thing. The sub is only there for the intro and the choruses - next version will pull back the sub a little, and use a little more of the string bass. String bass part has some artifacts though (Acid tempo shift weirdness), might not be able to come up any more. We'll see.

Daf
 
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