Cappuccino Monday - JJ

J

joejohnstun

New member
High! This is my fourth HomeRecording song (you can listen to the others here: When You're Bad, If I Had a Pair of You, and Psychosis)

I had a lot of trouble with this one. It has this manic lovey-dovey, cloyingly feel-good feel that I am not completely happy with. Also the production, while being about as good as amateur-me can get it, still feels all muddy and wrong. On the other hand, there's something cute and likeable about the song that I can't seem to shake.

I'm not easily offended, so go ahead. :)

Thank you!


https://soundcloud.com/joejohnstun/cappuccino-monday



Cappuccino Monday

I'm taking a chance on
A sunburned sidewalk. Something's gone
From the highlights of my sunrise.
Class A to the candidate catching my eye.
Well, she's catching my smile for the candid camera.
Can't stand the eye-candy, capitalize
This Cappuccino Monday. Got till 10 o'clock sharp and
No time for small talk. Said

We turned our lives upside, downside,
Inside, outside with this love.
Wordless witness, work till with this
Word we'll win this
Whole world well. Willingly sing it with me one more time.

I'm taking a bite right out, right on time.
I'm taking a bite right out of the sun.

She was the cream of the crowd, look at her crouched in the corner
Diva daredevil now double screwed over,
Drove her headstart to hate.
Well, she's crossing all her h's and dropping her a's.
"But I'm gonna give you a taste of my medicine, what’s in
My cup, cause Starbucks don't land you on a star but,
On the canvas of this campus,
I know something that can, quite caffeine free."
And I said, "I'm just a worker bee and you can be the queen, see."

We turned our lives upside, downside,
Inside, outside with this love.
Wordless witness, work till with this
Word we'll win this
Whole world well. Willingly sing it with me one more time.

I'm taking a bite right out, right on time.
I'm taking a bite right out of the

Sunny day cutaway, a funny way to handle
The warning of the story of the midmorning mantle.
"Pack your bag, grab your hat and your sandals.
"Plan for your mama to ignore the scramble."

You can't hide her warming candle,
Neighbor, tell the paper to report the scandal.
Gamble on a chandelier swirl of a girl,
And together we'll light up the world.

She will take this word and make it
Work she'll change this
Whole world well. Willingly, sing it with me one more time.

I'm taking a bite right out, right on time.
Taking a bite right out of the sun.
 
I know what you mean. The chorus sounds very good, but the drums during the verses is awkward (especially the snare). A softer/more natural snare sound would help, along with better programming. The lead vocal could use some more body. Other parts of the song sound great, but It could use some alter production techniques tried on it. Cool song.
 
I like the song. The lyrics have that whimsical Ray Davies feel about them.

I like the quality of the bass sound . . . very tight and well defined. The snare has an open sound which I normally like, but maybe this song needs a tighter sound.

More than anything, though, I think the level of the vocals needs to be increased. They are almost buried by the music, and when the lyrics are well written (like these) and impart their own distinctive flavour to the song, they can afford to take prominence. Again, think Kinks and Ray Davies.
 
PDP: Ya, I'm hearing a lot about the snare. I'm gonna play around with it: softer sample, more velocity range, definitely a bit quieter. Thank you.

GeckoZzed: That's a good idea, to tighten up the snare. I'll also try turning the vox up.


JJ.
 
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