Being Single - JJ

J

joejohnstun

New member
High! This is my fifth HomeRecording song (you can listen to the others here: When You're Bad, If I Had a Pair of You, Psychosis, and Cappuccino Monday)

This is a comic song with perhaps a serious thought at the center. I realize the place for comedy in music is still up for debate, but there was really no other way to treat this topic.

Since I barely threw this demo together in a few hours, I don't really need comments on the mix. I'll present that for critique later once it's polished (if..).

I'm really interested in your thoughts on the feel, the idea, the words, the melody, the structure of the song. Is it even worth being a song? Or should it go in the scrap heap pile (along with the other hundreds of failed non-gems)?

What do you think?

Thank you!


https://soundcloud.com/joejohnstun/being-single



Being Single

When I wake up bright and early in the morning
And I look around there's no one next to me
And no bed to make no kids to feed and put to school
I might turn over and go right back to sleep

(Chorus: )
Oh I love just love being single
And I'm thrilled just thrilled to come home to me
When I think of you I miss you just a little
But I love just love being single

I can go to any bar and drink and party
Or stay out for weeks just surfing with the guys
I can bungee off the Statue of my Liberty
When I'm single and alone the world is mine

I can leave the toilet seat up if I want it
Or just throw my dirty clothes down like a kid
I can walk around the house naked and flaunt it
Cuz there's no one here to tell me I'm a filthy messy pig

(Chorus)

Well I like Like like little Joni
And I have to have Adele sometimes
And I can't get enough of Meg and Mia
Cuz I'm loving being just a single guy

My tux in the closet may have cobwebs
But the Kama Sutra couch has none
And the love song piano's in the corner
While this rock star guitar is getting all of the action

(Chorus)

Well I go all by my lonesome to the movies
And on couples night I stand around and fiddle
And sometimes I'd like to have someone to hear me snore
But I love being single so much more

(Chorus)

Though I have to say I miss you just a little
But I love just love being single
 
Really fun track, like your others. I really enjoyed it. Nothing sounds out of place to me. Good mix overall.

I'll be back later for another listen. :thumbs up:
 
I really liked the song. Lot's of fun. I liked the sound effects.

I thought the vocal and guitar were a little cloudy. Not bad, but it sounds to me like a small cut somewhere in the 400hz-800hz octave might clear things up a bit.

The kick was kind of rubbery sounding.

The melody to this song sounds familiar. Can't put my finger on it tho. But it reminds me of something...
 
I thought this was good fun too. Lyrics are funny and I liked the sound effects.

I wasn't crazy about the vocal phrasing. Everything's very enunciated which makes it sound a little bit 'stage school' and theatrical. To my taste at least, I'd prefer it to be a little more relaxed sounding in that regard.

I also thought the melody sounded familiar, and it's been driving me crazy thinking what it was since I listened. I think it's just come to me: Gogol Bordello - Start Wearing Purple

I hear it in parts of the melody and with the reggae rhythm. Obviously theirs is a punky song and yours isn't, but maybe it could be in Gogol Bordello, The Musical ;)

Sorry, to get back to your initial question, I think there's certainly enough here to be worthy of a song. Hope this helps.
 
Yep it's reminiscent of something, almost to the point of distraction, like an old 50's commercial. But I like it, and I love the enunciation and the vocal placement... to me that is kind of the point.

What I don't like is the guitar panned wide, especially the one in my left ear at the start. I also find the bass drum too thumping and turgid for the style, I would make it less programmatic and mix it lighter.
 
It has elements of the Beatles song Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da.

Good tune. Good cut, good performance.
 
TripleM said:
I like that song. Funny thing tho, I've never heard it before. So there's some 3rd song out there in the world that sounds similar to both. :)
Click to expand...

Yeah, it is a fun song. I'd considered Ob La Di Ob La Da too, but didn't want to drown Joe's thread in links. There is a similar cadence in the verses I think - I can go to any bar and drink and party/Desmond has a barrow in the market place.
 
Hey, I really like this!
You have a very innocent-sounding voice.
I agree with the comment about you being too careful in your pronunciation.
I think that one big change would make this song a lot better. If this was a punk rock-sounding guitar, instead of acoustic, I think it would contradict the sweetness of the melody and the sweetness of your voice and make this more compelling and complicated.
Easier said than done, I know, but that was my #1 reaction.
Very cool song!
 
I heard that it sounds like Ob-La-Di, so I decided to listen to that song and wow! Right on the money! The verse melody is almost identical. I really need to brush up on my Beatles. Other people said it sounds like 'Grandma got run over by a reindeer,' and a few other simple nursery songs. I think the issue is that when you use such a simple tune, odds are that other people before you have used it (a lesson learned by the alphabet song guy in his age-old rivalry with the Twinkle, Twinkle song guy).

TripleM: thanks for the mixing tips! i'll have a look at those things when/if i decide to actually produce it.

robgreen: i like to speak/sing, in other words sing exactly the same way i talk... i don't know if that's good or bad but for better or worse, mouthy throaty singers at one end of the scale (creed) or nasal-y singers at the other end (britney) just sort of annoy me. when i hear pretentiousness in someone's singing it turns me off right away... so i developed this over-enunciated style so that at least i wouldn't embarrass myself. :)
i've gotta listen to that gorgol song! another great addition to the list of people-who-have-used-this-melody-before. thanks! :)

tobe: i have about 50% panning in the picking guitar to distinguish it from the vocals, then obviously 100% panning of the doubled rhythm guitars, which is a normal effect that ppl use. u think the 50% is too much?
about the bass, ya i know i know it's too thumping for the style. but to me that takes the 50s commercial and brings it up to date! maybe i'm misguided.

Jessica X: thanks! ya i guess innocence is what i'm going for since i say some pretty dick-ish things. :) maybe i could stand a little less enunciation but....aggh.
so ur saying that in the final production, a little distortion on the guitars would improve the song? ok...interesting to think about. thanks!


JJ.
 
It reminds me of Ob-La-Di, but it's definitely an original and not a rip off. I thought the song was really good.
 
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