Beach sounding song for girlfriend. Need some constructive critisim. Thdx

[JerryD]

I woke up yesterday and wrote this for my girlfriend. I recorded yesterday afternoon. I want it to sound better for her. I plan on recording this soon. Feel free to tear this apart so I can improve it. Thanks for any suggestions.

All of the Peoples Down by the SEA Beachy Sound Version by Jerry "Daniel" Padgett on Sutros, a place for musicians.

 

[RAMI]

Jerry, put down the bottle, dude. Your link doesn't work.

 

[JerryD]

http://sutros.com/songs/14258

 

[JerryD]

Can't stop drinking now...I'm on a roll

sutros.com/songs/14258

This link should work.