Hey Dustin,
I think the first reply is brutally kind, you know what I mean? Constructive, helpful. The others are plain cruel with no constructive criticism.
I'm gonna try to give some constructive criticism too. I think you're big enough to take it. So here goes.
I listened to it twice, and technically it's good. Musically, your song has a distinct oriental, middle eastern sound to it. Is this what you intended? I don't know what sample you're using in the melody line, but I'd advise you to open up the keyboard, identify where the sample is stored, and take a pair of pliers and snip the wire. That sample is truly horrible, although it could be used successfully as a form of torture.
Perhaps replace the melody with a piano sample. And instead of repeating the melody line over and over in the root chord (which is G), try throwing in another chord, as it helps break up the monotony. Hip hop or however you might describe your song always sounds better with a few subtle chord changes. Artists are doing this more and more these days. Perhaps try this: (key of G) A B . G (key of Cmaj 7) GA . DB.
The vocal is a little rushed at times, which makes it difficult to understand you. Yours and Alyse's vocals are good. I'd work on the bridge a little - the chords sound unnatural together, i.e. unnatural to a westerner's ear, but if you want the oriental thing then good.
I'd also try a different drum "rhythm" (don't ya just hate spelling that word?). The drums have a distinct middle eastern feel to them. But again, that might be what you want.
So that's my take. Remember, it's only my humble, unerring opinion.
I'll look forward to the remix.
V
