another duff or a possible cracker?

brummygit

brummygit

Member
hello all

cheers for feedback on other tune i posted....

i wrote and started recorded this one yesterday


its pretty out of time as it stands and the first chorus is very weak, need to play with the melody and dynamics, etc

but...question....can this chune work as a winner or just an album filler?
 
anyone? any thoughts appreciated. lookin to possibly turn this into something good if the groundwork's there
 
brummygit said:
anyone? any thoughts appreciated. lookin to possibly turn this into something good if the groundwork's there
Click to expand...
Overall, you're right about the timing. I am sure you could clean that up. I wouldn't have the children playing in the background go much beyond the first couple lines of your lyrics, though; which, by the way, are GREAT! you definitely have something there. If you like, maybe have the children in the background come in at the fade out in the ending also... Just my opinion of course, which you are free to ignore. I liked it!
 
brummygit said:
but...question....can this chune work as a winner or just an album filler?
Click to expand...

It is a winner if you put the effort into it like I bet you will! :cool:
 
i love these forums.. :p

cheers guys, all comments taken on board and ready to try... ill keep ya posted

thanks
 
Brummy--I'm really liking this! You've got a great voice and I thought the background stuff you did was a really cool idea. Let us know when you get a final version up.
 
Sounds as good as many a hit, but didn't really do much for me. I think some 'real' sounding strings could come in for the 2nd verse and really lift the emotion of the track?

I think with some more work, this could be a winner!
 
man, ive changed this song so so much now! but its starting to really take shape. i tried the strings, but im gonna have to do a lot of playing with them to make them sound any good (im using a keyboard, that for the record, i cannot play to save my life...!)

cheers for the input guys. keep it coming if there's been anything unsaid so far
 
I really like it, I'd like to hear a lead guitar in the background of the second verse (Down in the mix), and it done with good timing, I reckon it could be a seriously good song!
 
not too bad at all...i got into that...even in its state as it is its worth a couple more listens...work on that timing.....its up to artist interpretation to let the children keep playing in the background through the first verse or kill it off at the begining of the verse or a few lines into it but how it stands now isnt too bad.
 
I'm not big on lighter rock kind of stuff, but I must admit that this is pretty good. Definitely not album filler for someone who is into that style of music. I personally would bring the electric up and the acoustic down a tad on the choruses. And maybe fade the kids... it could work either way, honestly. As you said, it clearly still needs tweaking, but good job so far.
 
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