Acoustic/Rock song. Harshness encouraged.

F

fdrennan

New member
Hey guys! Ok, im 21 and got into recording around 6 months ago or so. Im using and MBOX mini, a sterling audio st66 tube mic and a trackmaster pro pre. The only things recorded through the mic was the guitar and vocals. Everything else was done in reason.
I kinda feel the guitar is a bit loud but either way... im not here to tell you,
you tell me!

I wanna learn from the people who know what they are doing! : )

Oh yea, and I played all the parts minus the lead vocal!

And, if your one to listen to the beginning then turn it off... skip to about 3/4ths of the song and listen to that part.. it changes up a bit.

Song is "I was to be your superhero"

myspace.com/freddy945
 
That tune has a lot of potential. The first vocalist is a natural knack for pop productions. The wordsmithing is reliably real and artful. The melody is strong, and the changes pleasing...they move enough to keep the listener from fatigue.

The bass notes in the piano and string basses are stepping on one another. Down that low, you have to determine if you're gonna have a third or a root sounding in the bass...and everybody plays it...or the bottom gets muddy. Like in a lot of places in this tune. [next time you're in the corner music shoppe...get a score for a classical piece for orchestra in your hands, and eyeball it carefully. You'll notice big spaces between notes sounding in the bass range...a picture/thousand words...]

I'd suggest recording the piano in stereo.....across the field, the way stock programs do. The bass will be left....so you might want to pan string bass a little right. And acoustic leftish...to sound over the bass range in the piano. On the opposite side, the top piano will sound over the string bass. It's a homoginization with sonic seperation and order to fight mud and blend nice.

The drums are a little sloppy. The snare sound is un-right...

The kick and string bass need to knit together to give unity of movement and punctuation to the low end...like a big reliable wave for everything on top to surf on...the whole is a bit chaotic...think 'order'. That takes awareness and work. Listen to how other producers make it happen. Apply it, until it becomes second nature.

The second vocalist is not as pleasing to hear as the first. And I suspect the second vocalist is also a co-writer...as the poetry changes abruptly. And the lyric is not good. Play the two or however many contributors there are...to individual strengths. Some can sing...some can write nice words...some can play the shit outta an instrument...some can mix....some can arrange.

The guitar sound is nice. The bass needs more defined fundamental...and/or tightening with the kick, simplifying, and tone adjustment.... The kit doesn't sound right. Maybe someone else can clue you in to what can improve.

The lead vox is real good...and sung with feeling. Good.

As rife with little nits as this tune is, it's the kind of raw product that TALENT can be heard in. A good producer could help you engineer this into a real special thing. And you are at a place, experiance and age-wise, where people with money, who are looking for artists, with TALENT, to groom and sell, could hear this record and zoom laser-like onto you as writers and eye-candy for 14 year-old girls. Seriously. Get busy and shop a demo around. C'right the songs, make a few hundred copies on your computer, and start giving them to people who know people who know people. Put you web addy, phone, whatever on it. You guys are a seed waiting to be planted in a good field...if all your stuff is as promising as this one. I'm not gonna listen to more...real stuck for time; but I was really impressed with this tune.
Onward!! [six months?? I hate you, punk!!! :^) [ps...I don't really know what I'm doing...2C]

Oh yeah...the recorded quality of the tracks seem good...the mix and EQ...not so much. The weakest links in the chain are the instrumental playing/ performance, and the arrangement of the parts as-played. That, done well, can punch through a bad recording. Shed your parts a lot more before committing to the live mic. MHO

Good work.

One more bit....put a band together, and hash these works into something you can do live. It's a laboratory, and a learning experience.....real in-the-bones education.

And listen to other artists you like. Focus in on the sounds and playing of two or more instruments that move you. Study, study, study...and apply in the lab what you learn. And go out and play for some pretty girls.
 
Last edited:
jeffmaher said:
As rife with little nits as this tune is, it's the kind of raw product that TALENT can be heard in. A good producer could help you engineer this into a real special thing. And you are at a place, experiance and age-wise, where people with money, who are looking for artists, with TALENT, to groom and sell, could hear this record and zoom laser-like onto you as writers and eye-candy for 14 year-old girls. Seriously. Get busy and shop a demo around. C'right the songs, make a few hundred copies on your computer, and start giving them to people who know people who know people. Put you web addy, phone, whatever on it. You guys are a seed waiting to be planted in a good field...if all your stuff is as promising as this one. I'm not gonna listen to more...real stuck for time; but I was really impressed with this tune.
Onward!! [six months?? I hate you, punk!!! :^) [ps...I don't really know what I'm doing...2C]
Click to expand...

EXACTLY
WHAT
HE
SAID!

Dude, it's way obvious that you're going to totally waist your talent sitting in front of your computer reading forums. SELL IT!

I'd like to also toss in there that, typically, users' songs need that something... i don't know what it is, but it's not passable for radio or shows almost. Not EVERYONE, just most. THAT song though... GOLD. I wouldn't change one damn thing accept the engineering.

Excellent composition, and that's the key to a TRUE musician.
 
Thanks guys!

Ok so more or less this is how it plays out.


My buddy sang lead, and I sang the second verse, harmonies, and played all the instruments and mixed it.

So ive been kinda busy.

But good point, im taking my verse out and sticking to the harmonies.

Also, the piano is in stereo but I panned it a little more towards the middle since I had guitar in the middle

And in the verses the guitar was panned left and piano kind of right... so ill make it more extreme.

All the drums were done in reason so Ill see what I can do about the sound.

I appreciate the help. Im a guitar player and drummer at heart and I kind of pulled the piano part out of my ass.

Again, thanks for the reply it is a world of help and now im off to listen to your music!
 
The drums are midi, right? Do you know how to fix 'em using a piano roll sequencer? Or how to use the quantize function to scootch the drum hits into time sync? Do you know how to set the midi metronome for your platform so you can use those tools??
 
Yea, its all midi. And the drums are on except for one part towards the end and right before the chorus there is something that seems something thats a little off but it was there on purpose if were thinking the same thing. Ill have another go at it and get some more feed back. If anything is off it would be my piano playing or guitar. Ill just re-record those parts.
 
Ok im making some changes now, ill have to rerecord the bass and fix up the drums some for you. Trying to make midi drums sound good might take a little time. : )

And I listened to lah dee da. Its great! Upbeat and positive. I would definitely play that at beach party!
 
Ok, I didnt change the snare or bass sound yet...

But I took your advice on the eq, panning, and cleaning up that bottom end.

Did I do a good job at all at it? Either way, ive spent a good 4 or 5 more hours on it since I got caught up on a few spots with the midi. But im new so if it all went to crap then its a learning experience but I think it sounds a bit cleaner.

Either way, I havent taken my voice out in the second verse so just... cover your ears or something until I can have him come in and sing it for me. : )

myspace.com/freddy945 or if you want a better quality of it ill send it in an email!
 
The first 20 seconds sound like a hit FM Alt top 100.

The vocal blend you guys have is something special. Your friend's voice is mic and radio friendly.

The whole thing sounds a lot better.

At 23 seconds the progression gets ambiguous. G, E-/D, B-7/ C add9. The bass note D hangs...something in the mix of tones throws off the ear...the progression isn't apparent...it's like a momentary fog.

At 45 seconds...it's the same trouble spot...it's the mix of tones...muddying the progression. I think it might be notes of the previous chord left hanging on the piano?? I would listen carefully to those two sections. Clarify the musical sentence: it's the most important part of the verses....the hook...and it has to be razor sharp to maximize effect.

At 100 seconds you make a temporary modulation to Fmaj.....when you hit the G-, it shocks the ear in an unpleasant way....because you need a setup to tune the ear into the new key. There's four beats of C add9 befor Fmaj7.....play a Bbmaj7 or Bbsus4 for the last two beats....then go to Fmaj7 I would actually leave the major 7 note out of the F chord...play F add9. The G-7 chord is really too weak to fill the role assigned to it at that moment. A Bbsus is a lot stronger and more in that 'sussy' character of the tune. And it doesn't send the ear off in a bad direction for the return to Gmaj.

The piano part...chunking the progression very simply in the first 20 seconds, in the mid+ range of the keyboard.... should be THE template for the piano part throughout. With the meandering string bass, you gotta stay out of the way with the piano's bass range. And the simple chords in the piano are the GLUE for everything. Later in the song, the piano starts anticipating the pulse....and time gets weird....and you outsmart yourself trying to play piano finery, like you can really play. Big mistake. The first 20 seconds are sweet...a winning formula.

I think this is a really great song...a little too long for content...and not well executed or thought-out in the arrangement of chord-voices. I can hear what you want.....but you have to solo all the possible pairs of tonal instruments and listen for weak or uncomfortable notes ringing together. ESPECIALLY in the low-end.

With work, this tune is a real winner. The work needs to be applied to , 1-care [time/pulse] in the performances; and , 2- musical CONFLUENCE in the progressions.

If you don't re-record the bass, piano, and drums.......it will never be what it has the potential to be.
 
Ok, im off to do that. I really appreciate the input. Your molding a song thousands of miles away! I appreciate someone with experience mentoring! Your time is doing alot for me, and I plan on paying for a few of your songs for the help, that and they are pieces of work!
 
Don't bother uploading my tunes as some kind of repayment...listening to others' tunes gets me thinking and analyzing...and I get more from that than the posters do....getting advice of dubious quality from me.

I don't know a lot about recording myself...new to me; but I am stronger in arranging tunes and grooves and blends, and parts that work together, etc. Been at that since ...nevermind. What goes on before tape starts rolling: just as important as the quality of the tracks. That, I can help with better.

In the old days, I'd have bands...live bands...to work with. If I wanted a part played a certain way on the drums..I'd make noises with my hands, mouth...and a good drummer who new what he was doing would take it and run. Easy!! If they wanted a certain feel in the guitar..I'd cobble it together while vamping with the band...and develop it as we played. Can't do that as well on a platform. Doing my own midi drums, or playing a kit, makes me realize how much I overlooked learning and listening. I can't imagine the parts that were so expertly played. So it's new learning...deeper listening.

In other words, I'm just offering what I know, and learning from you, too. Symbiosis!! [n'yuck n'yuck]
 
I agree, what a nice song. The only thing I would recommend is trying to "fill out" some of the range in the tracks. For example, the guitar, piano and vocals sound tingy to me. Maybe some equilizer, or chorus or slight reverb on a couple of the tracks?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top