I'm not a drummer either, but I think that I've always thought 'drums'. And now that I have to, my thinking has to translate itself into the actual mechanics of playing.
recording kick, snare, hats and toms separately means 5 or even 6 limbs are needed.....the quest for more realistic playing
The most important thing that I realized when I first started using VSTis, and it took me a while to learn this once I had gotten over the excitement of having every instrument at my disposal, was to play whichever instrument I was using the way the player of that instrument would. I'll admit, I was partly seduced by the idea initially of technology enabling me to blow a viola or bow a flute......but when I actually got the various VSTis, that never appealed to me because I discovered that I love the violin, for example, and I wanted the violin sound, not some 'clever' technological Frankenstein creation. Even if it was a completely new and unique sound, truth is, that it still would sound like something a synthesizer would sound like !
So the idea was to not play the violin like a keyboard player, not play a mandolin like a guitarist etc.
Now, I don't use a drum VSTi, I use an actual kit but I'm no drummer, I'm too long in the tooth to start learning one now and frankly, I couldn't be bothered. But I can layer the parts piece by piece {or in some cases, pieces} and while I used to think that it didn't matter if it didn't sound realistic, I soon lost that notion. It does. And I find myself paying
very careful attention to drummers in every song I hear in which there are drums, regardless of genre. In fact, I consider it a blessing to be a lover of so many different genres because that really informs how the drums may sound when I'm 'playing' them.
A month ago, I had my son's friend over to do a session for me on drums, and it was quite funny watching him as he played. It made me realize just how many universes there were between his authentic playing and some of my single-celled layering. He did everything naturally and spontaneously, without really thinking about it. Whereas I have to think well in advance and I have to be really careful if I improvise because that's going to alter so much that it wouldn't if I actually played the kit as a whole. Nevertheless, playing various percussion instruments over the years has helped, and I think like a drummer and when one does, after a while, it becomes second nature to not do things that only a double-jointed octopus would !