Need Some Advice On Band Members

[drummerdoug86]

Hey everyone, I need some help with one of my band members. See, the problem is that our lead guitar player has no real dedication. I mean, he comes to practice (sometimes), but other times he just brushes our band off, and goes and smokes with his other friends instead. I think he kind of wants to still be in the band, but he shows no real signs of it. We have a gig coming up in like a month and he just doesnt recognize that we really need to start practicing two or three times a week. I know most of you would be like "Well f*** him" and just drop him, but he's been one of my good friends since kindergarten and he is probably one of the few good guitar players that I know of, so I think it would be kind of hard to replace him. Any advice on what to do? Thanks.

 

[Richard Monroe]

Doug, you can't make someone into what they're not. You may have a lead guitarist, but you don't have a professional musician. Use him for tracking if you like his stuff, and find a real professional if you're trying to make a serious commercial effort. The world is full of fine talent that doesn't have the work ethic to make it. Sorry, you have to do what the patriots did to Terry Glenn- put him on waivers! -Richie

 

[EpiSGpl8r]

I say fire the mofo hes a worthless shit

 

[Gidge]

you dont have a gig until a month away...how dedicated do you want him to be?......

 

[drummerdoug86]

Enough so he'll be practicing with us more than once every two weeks(if we're lucky).

 

[arjun]

dude practicing with a band is fun, kick this guy out and get someone who really cares, and doesn't take you for granted.

 

[Spike Vincent]

If he's not taking it seriously and you are,then it's bye bye time.It doesn't matter how good he is,if he's not there.And if he's a good friend then he'll understand.

 

[M.Brane]

Have you discussed this problem with him?

If you have then it's obvious where his priorities are. Time to start auditioning new players. Maybe that will get his attention.

If not then you owe it to him to give him a chance to shape up.

BTW to me practice is what you do at home by yourself. When the band gets together to play I like to call it rehearsal. Sounds more professional that way.

 

[Wong]

Try talking to him about how committed is he to the band first. If he shows no change in attitude, then you'd better start auditioning for someone else. Who knows, this might get him a bit worried and he might start to buck up. But if nothing happens, go look for someone else. Sometimes it's even better to get someone who is less skilled but have full commitment in the band. I mean, although you might have a guitarist who's as good as Steve Vai but with zero commitment, the band ain't gonna get anywhere. I've had this problem before, in the end the band just sorta disintegrated. For me, I've just moved on with a group of committed musicians.

 

[Bass Master "K"]

I'd tell him what you said here. He's a good friend and a great guitar player and you don't want to lose him but you guys feel like he isn't very into it. Then try something different and ask him how HE feels about the band. Maybe there is a problem and he doesn't feel comfortable talking to YOU about it because you have been friends for so long.

Also, are your rehersals fun for him? Are you wasting a lot of time doing non-music related goofing off? I played with these guys who wanted me to jam 3 times a week (which I didn't mind) but the rehersals lasted from 3 to 5 hours with them getting drunk and telling the same stupid stories and jokes that were old after the first five times I heard them (they never seemed to notice they were telling repeats to each other and , sadly, to me), and we would get what I considered to be the eqivalent to 1 solid hour of practice in that 3 to 5 hours. I didn't want to put the ka-bash on their fun (it seemed they were used to practicing like this) so I tolerated it for a while and then had to start cutting back on practices because I couldn't take the wasted time anymore (although if I said I was going to show I always showed). They got the drift something was up and asked me and I told them flat out...let's jam first, and then have social hour (or two or three) later. Some days I would like to stay and hang, but others days I had stuff to do and it would be cool if I didn't feel like I wasted 2 to 3 hours every jam. They were cool about it and we re-organized the jam time. Once in a while it would degenerate to the old ways, but that was okay with me because for the most part it was much much more music oriented which in turn made it more fun for me.

 

[guhlenn]

keep the friend but ditch the musician...


OR

you're the one that needs to take a breath... maybe he';s good enough and you guys suck... always doubt yourself first... and if you are sure he's the one that's wrong and the rest of the band agrees, it's time to search for a new player... but be gentle... ego's are hurt easily

Guhlenn

 

[EpiSGpl8r]

Ok let me clear things up for you guys. We have this band drummerdoug and i. We have another guitar player who is not quite commited as we want him to be. We don't suck that's no the prob. the problem is getting him to practice. He doesn't practice much at home i don't where that would come in between his marijuana problem and his bitch. But why go play a gig if were gonna make asses of ourselves. if were not together than whats the point of playing. Gidge ur a fuckin moron maybe ur band doesn't practice or rehearse or what ever you want to call it , but being commited and being ready to play is part of being a band, so you can just shut the hell up right now.Don't ever reply to one of my or drummerdougs posts again.

 

[sjjohnston]

Well, you could kill him, but that's illegal. Probably immoral too, if it comes to that.

So don't do that.

 

[foo]

The question is "Does he know all your tunes and play them really well?"

If that is the case, perhaps he doesn't see a need for so many 'practices' - and I would be inclined to agree with him because he's thinking - you guys need to learn your stuff at home - I already know my end of things.

But if he doesn't, then you cna pretty much write him off, 'cos he's not into it, or he doesn't understand the need for getting the work done.

Make no mistake - rehearsal is where th ehard work happens - the gigs are the fun part you get to do after you've done the hard work.

. . . and you need to explain that to him.

Is you in, or is you out?

foo

 

[toyL]

I agree with foo and Bass Master...you've made it clear that he's "good", and "good" can go a long way...it could take months of auditioning other guitarists, and even after you decide on one you don't really know what you're getting--you won't know what his work ethic is, whether or not he shoots coke, or any of his other "bad" habits...you know, there are worse things than reefer...perhaps he simply doesn't feel he needs to rehearse that much (for himself)...but, if you approached him with the attitude that "the band" needs him so that each of you can get tighter, maybe that would motivate him--if he's a good friend, he'll be there when you express your need and the needs of the other members.

 

[guhlenn]

Epi,

your outburst at gidge kinda shows something to me... frustration to be exact...

Are you guys really that good? make no mistake, rehearsing in my mind is essential even if youb knwo your shit (that's where new songs are created right?) but i've had some bandfmates that where simplky to good for the band... and yes then they lose motivation...

BUT

it's really simple; when he DOES show up; is he the one who keeps messing up or are you guys? and findsing new bandmates is no stroll in the park. however, if this guy is tickin' you off it might be worth the effort...

Guhlenn

 

[drummerdoug86]

This is EpiSgpl8r on dougs name. ok listen up we're good that's not the point nor the question or subject this post was about. HE'S the one who screws up like we'll be playing a song and he'll forget it(once again i am referring to his marijuana problem) and he allways be comin to practice high. but the problem is when we play our gig we're gonna need both guitarist and i don't know who else to use so we have to deal with it. But i'm asking for advice not peoples bullshit about if were good? are u good? are u the one fuckin up? not to be a dick but i'm way ahead of those questions i'm not mad i'm just expressing myself so don't take it personal. Wong i think i'm gonna try ur approach. I'll report back on this topic later.

 

[gibs]

Take the easy way out...

I assume you fucks have a computer .....print this thread out and show it to yer grassmaster guitarist.....

If he doesn't understand, give him a mayonaise and peanut butter sandwich......

Get some fucking balls and talk to the guy or print this out...period....


And you can fucking lay off Gidge...he did nothing in his reply to warrant a lube job...........gibs

 

[Bass Master "K"]

Ya, your getting mad at the wrong people.

We don't know you from shit. We're tossing out all possible ideas from our experience in the music scene. If you don't like it don't ask. I didn't even insinuate that you guys weren't good, but the fact that others brought it up is just covering all bases. When I have a problem I would rather have ten ideas of which one is the right one, rather than no one taking the time to give me input, so lighten up, listen to what everyone has to say, take what is useful and discard the rest.

R.I.P Master Bruce Lee who revolutionized the martial arts world with that philosophy.

And by the way....look at the first post in this thread, you guys don't mention the fact that he is the one messing stuff up, all we hear is that he is a great guitar player and a friend, who doesn't have much dedication to the band. It makes sense that one of the possible reasons is because he doesn't need the practice as much as you. State your problem more clearly in the future and you might get more direct answers to your liking.

 

[guhlenn]

Epi dude, you have an attitude man. chill out or something, maybe you should take a hit from that bong of that friend of yours ... if your this pissed off at the guy, why didn't you confront him?
If your THIS sure the problem is his pot hobby and his total disregard for your band you should have kicked him out already... why ask? You are dead sure... so then it's time to search for a new guitarist... Goddamn it's not like you're lookin for a drummer or bassplayer... guitarplayers come 13 in a dozen you know!