My first REAL submission.... (but there's still a catch.. :op)

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WATYF

WATYF

...happier than you.
O.K... so.. it's late.. but I vowed that I'd get this song posted tonight (for no good reason :p ) so here it is... I still need to fix some mix issues that I'm aware of.. but I need sleep. I had to do the final mix on head-phones, so the "real" mix will have to wait until tomorrow. (btw,.. does anyone hear any clipping?? I didn't hear any in n-Track but when I played it in WMP it clipped a few times.)

Anywhooo... up until now, my submissions haven't really been a reflection of "my stuff"... first I posted a couple songs for the praise and worship CD my youth group is doing, but I had to write those pretty much by a "deadline", and they weren't exactly my "style"... then the next song was a cover, and after that I posted a mix I recorded of a song that a friend of mine played the parts for... (which everyone seemed to hate... :confused: :p )

Anyway... this is the first song I would consider to be a decent reflection of my material... this is the stuff I'm (still) trying to find a male vocalist to sing. (anyone?? anyone???) This recording isn't too indicative of the production style I want... this song will eventually have electric gits, bass, drums, etc... the build at the end will have electric gits... the solos will be elec, etc... but for now, all I got is n-Track and my Taylor, so you're stuck with this. Most of the tracks are dry... not much reverb at all (sorry mixmkr.. :p ) I'll prolly add some "fluff" tomorrow" for the final mix.


But there's a catch.... :p (isn't there always?)


I feel like I've heard the melody in this song before... basically, it's so simple that I just know someone has prolly used it already, but I can't think of any specific songs that this sounds like... I don't think I've ever heard the melody before.. it's just that I'm worried that I'm totally ripping someone off without know it... so if anyone here has heard the melody from the verse before (you'll know it when you hear it... it's the same one that the solo plays at the very end) then please let me know so I can yank this tune and write something original... :p

anyway... enough incessant rambling.. here's the tune.


"Better"... at WATYF's NWR Site




As always... don't mind my butt-nasty singing... and critiques are more than welcome.. although now,.. since it's one of "my" songs, I may actually care what you think....





but don't get your hopes up... :p




WATYF


(I don't even know why I'm posting this thing tonight.. no one's awake to hear it... :p )
 
well by golly I like it :)
as far as the clips, I just heard an occasional low end spike in the eq on the voice and guitar kinda masking each other. But it be a pretty tune and feel.
 
I caught this on the nowhere front page.I dont have any suggestions.I thoroughly enjoyed it man.I didnt even think about mix or performance issues.Nice ear freindly tune from beginning to end.

The vocals and the guitars sound really good to my ears.

3 thumbs up.:p
 
DAMN!!!

1) you are a great fake singer. what i mean is, you don't sound like a pure crooner, but your vocals fit the song and are delivered with a sincere emotional presence. i hope i learn how to fake it like that.

2) DAMN!!!

3) great job of sliding the vocals over to the left so you could send the harmonized vocals to the right.

4) i dig the way the two guitars play off of each other and the way the guitar solo comes in-between. in my headphones the solo guitar seems to float above eye level in the middle while the other guitars sit closer to the ground on the left and right. i haven't been able to do that yet.
 
Very nice. Your voice almost sound like Cat Stevens. Nice doubling on everything. It's ALMOST too left and right though. A bass guitar down the middle might fill it in. Very good tune. this is as easy to listen to as an Erland tune (one of my all time favs). Great job my friend.:cool:
 
Hey man,
....very beautiful song man......NICE writing. Im listening on my 'puter here at work so im not gonna get into the mix til you put up your re-mix....... ....and i'll check that one out at home.
This is a very nice guitar part..... very nice and well played. I was thrown a bit by the panning on the vocs..... but after gel'ing with the movement for a bit, I think i see where your going with it. I like the dynamic style of the vocs alot. It really works for the song. There are a few spots that could be worked on..... spots that could be settled in a bit more. Are you using a tremolo effect at all on these at the end? ......its probably just the fact that you synced up your vibrato in the doubling..... the strong wavering kinda bugged me just a little bit. Every where else it was just fine..... just gets a little overpowering at the end. (imvho) This is small pickens though man.... This is a great piece of music.....
.....Im looking forward to what you do in your re-mix!


Great stuff!!!
G
 
WATYF said:
Anyway... this is the first song I would consider to be a decent reflection of my material... this is the stuff I'm (still) trying to find a male vocalist to sing. (anyone?? anyone???)

You've got a good voice... don't worry about it. Don't wanna volunteer anyone, but if you simply can't stand your own voice... the poster right before this post may be able to help you :cool:

I feel like I've heard the melody in this song before... basically, it's so simple that I just know someone has prolly used it already, but I can't think of any specific songs that this sounds like...

It's vaguely like a Beatles song crossed with "Stairway To Heaven", or something :)
Click to expand...

Very nice guit playing... and you're a DRUMMER? Good fade-in... very cool... I do like the doubled vocs, but maybe not exactly the levels/mix right there... when they come in...

The song is great... good emotion, and great sounds... think I'd like a few more highs out of the guits, but that's a nitpick... Cool stuff... so, when do the drums for this track (BY A DRUMMER) show up? :p
 
Very Nice

I really like the song. I think you sound good vocally although I tend to agree with the others that there is too much spread in the doubling. get it a little tighter and let your voice be a little more naked. I think the song is asking for that intimate charater in the vocals. Just my .2 cents. I look forward to your KEEPER mix.


Brian
 
Nice song. Excellent guitar sound and playing. Your singing wasn't as bad as you made it out to be. I think a female singing some lead would be a good touch. Just a few spots here and there to add a little more dimensions.
 
The song has a lot of potential. I'm listening at work on headphones; that may affect my opinions. It sounds like a "work in progress". There are points where I can't understand the lyrics. I think I'll wait for the "better" mix - pun intended. I LOOK Forward to the remix!
 
I thought you were a drummer ..... Sheeeeesh, nice guitar playing!

I didn't hear enough resemblence to anything else to be concerned about. I don't think anyone listening to this would accuse you of plagerism. I understand how you feel though. One time I was nearly finished writing a song, when I heard the damn thing on the radio, and I realized where I got the idea from. It didn't just come to me, it was a subconcious leftover. There's always music in my head, and sometimes I don't know if it's mine or somebody elses.

I finished the song anyway, and just changed things enough that you wouldn't recognize it. Now that it's finished, it's a completely different song, and I wouldn't even compare the two.

This is a really good song, and your voice works fine with it. I have to agree on the spread of the doubling though. It sounds like your trying to camouflage your vocal. It is an interesting effect, but this song is pretty intimate, and the vocal should be too.

Someone mentioned Cat Stevens. I always loved Cat Stevens, and never realized until a short time ago, that he really wasn't a very good singer. But his voice went with the music, and as the author, he gets to pick the singer. The point is, it worked.

Twist
 
man this is good...and the taylor sounds great too. "I" hear some really radical production behind it...that really varies a lot. Kinda on the SluiCe format. A nice verse that gets "wham-bammed" with a Samicide chorus...then back to the 'nice' verse(that you have now). Really extreme stuff. Radical instrument sounds,...but just poking in here and there...NOT all the way thru the song. That would be a mistake. Extreme peaks and valleys would work great...."I THINK"...but those are my ears telling me this.

Your vocals...I think will improve as you do more and more...but for now sound just fine too. You at least have a recognizable voice, that is pleasant to listen to, and you can even hold a tune!!:eek: I think backing this up with a "cat stevens" musical backdrop would be the obvious....but that has already been done...eh? That would work...but that would be the easy route too. .. hence....trying to get a little more original with some 'new' backdrops. Granted, macle's stuff isn't really "new"...but he has good grip on production. It's not just 5 instruments banging away from start to finish. There might be 20 things that come in and out that help backup spotlight areas, kick off verses, provide mini solos in vocal blank spots...augment typical instrument sounds....etc, etc.

damn...gotta get a taylor.... do you ever have to tune em?...they always sound so perfect in that aspect.... and you are getting a good sound recorded with them too.

oh...and getting back to the extreme. I could easily hear a Randy Rhodes solo in there, playing the SAME notes you did on acoustic...but just in the "style" of Randy Rhodes.. same backdrop...like maybe just TWO acoustics ONLY ...NO drums, nuttin'...for the solo section. It would be quite a contrast possibly from the rest of the song, especially if it was more a "full band". ...coming "down" to a solo section, musically, but yet going "up" musically with such a heavy handed solo... Am I making sense??

so....if you are gonna ramble on your first post...I will too!!
 
Man WATYF :p , I don't know what you're talking aboot! :p Always bitching and moaning and making excuses aboot your voice and everything! :p You're oat of your mind! :p You're voice is great.
Wish I could sing like that. Song is real good, acoustics sound great. (You do sound a loot :p like Cat Stevens, do you listen to him? Have you heard Ben Harper? He sings a loot :p like Cat Stevens, too. Real good. )

Geez... :p

You might want to just have the double come in at certain spots (the chorus or other important places), and have the verses be a single. (That's my little mixing tip. :p )

But seriously man, don't get anyone else to sing it, what's the point of that?!

:p macle :p
 
Yeah man, don't even think about getting someone else to sing this. Are you outta your freakin head buddy? I thought your voice and singing was GREAT! Nice guitar too, and well played. Couldn't think of anything it reminded me of, dont think i'd be to worried about it. I thought the recording was really good, my only nitpick was I couldn't make out some of the word's you were singing, but again the singing was very very good! I'll catch your re-mix...

p.s. nice song
 
A good job.
Good mix as far as I can tell.

I agree with crosstudio about everything.
Very good song.

I listened via headphones and couldn't tell if it clipped or not.
I was too busy enjoying the song.
 
Love the Throat

Nice job...I'm only on my 2nd listen, so I'm just going to assume that the song is well written at this point, b/c the recording is really good.

Things I like:
1. The SOUND of your voice. You sound more like Cat Stevens than Erland. You really ARE Erland, aren't you. You're just posting under 2 names...what a freak you are. Anyway, I like the voice a whole bunch.

2. The GITS - Everything about 'em...sounds, playing. GREAT.

Things that bug me a tad:
1. The doubling and panning of the lead vocal. I think doubled vox should sound like one THICK vocal...but this sound is like two (or more) singers.

2. You're slightly flat 3:24, but not at 3:29 when you sing the exact same line...and the trail at@ 4:23 goes a little south of on pitch.

___________________________________________________

I would HIGHLY recommend that YOU sing this tune...maybe bring some of the doubled vocals together for the verses, then split 'em for choruses???

Don't read this as a negative post. I've been waiting months for you to post something else, as I wore your last vocal offering OUT...and while the guitars sounded good and everything...your voice, to me, is what sets you apart. Very very good.

(and I spent the past 2 days in a hospital, so I could be wrong about the flatties).

[edit - after a few more listens, you really need to fix that spot at 3:23, and the whole mix could use a shave (not much) cut @ 200Hz]
 
Hey guys.. thanks for all the comments.. I'm gonna reply to each one, but I gotta run to rehearsal... I just finished a much more polished mix and uploaded it... basically, last night, it was 2am and I was bound and determined to get something posted simply because I had been messing with this stupid song for so long (I finally tracked the vocals yesterday),... so the mix was very rushed and not really planned oat at all...


I pretty much agree with everyone.. the doubled vocals were too much... the vocal levels were way too high, etc. etc... I finally had time (very little) to work with it (just now), so I've got a "second draft" mix ready...

I'll respond more when I actually have a spare moment...



check out the new mix and let me know if it's an improvement.


be back later..


WATYF
 
New mix sounds much better without the doubling all the way through(or at least it's not dominant now).I hear them doubled in certain parts and it works really well.

You have a GOOD voice man,dont slam on your vocals.They're fine.
 
WOW. I mean it, this is very very good. Wonderful songwriting, nice performance, damn decent recording.

The guitars sounded great, although a tad bit boomy at times, especially during the chorus. I like the solo, although I think it might want to do a little more...maybe?

Overall, I give this one a WOW!

Slackmaster 2000
 
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