sonusman
Banned
1 - Band calls studio and insist's on "radio quality" sound because they have "label interest".
2 - Band wants to do this "radio quality" sound with only 3 days to track/mix 4 songs.
3 - Band shows up, drummer has a 12 piece drumkit. It is obvious that the heads have been used for at least a week or two, and there is rust on the hoops of the drums.
4 - Drummer has the toms so low and so close to the snare that you cannot get a top mic in a position to capture a good snare sound. Since he has 4 rack tom's and two kick drums, that snare isn't moving ANYWHERE but where it is.
5 - Drummer has a cymbal over EVERY FREAKIN' tom!!! 3 inches to spare, that is it! Now you cannot get the tom mic in a good position to capture a good sound, and the cymbal bleed is horrible!!! He cannot "play well" if the cymbals are raised. That "flat" mic position on the toms will have to do, even though you cannot get any resonance on the toms now. Also, you cannot possibly supply enough quaity mic pre's for EVERY drum, so you are sharing 3 mics between 6 toms...
6 - Drummer cannot tune kit very well. You have very little time to get rid of that "ping" shit out of the toms because you only have today to track all rhythems. The rusty hoops also mean that many lugs don't twist well. Tuning a good sound is not possible. Couple with bad mic position, it looks like Drumagog is in order....
7 - Drummer does not hit consistently. Some hits show 12dB more volume on the meters than the "average" hit. Some hits show 12dB LESS than average.
8 - Drummer is playing stuff WAY too hard for him to execute well. In addition, his timing during transitions in the song is like a train wreck!
9 - Bass player uses the wrong bass for the type of sound he wants. You have to DI because you don't have iso enough to mic a cabinet. The DI sound is very flat sounding, and he insistently complains that this sound doesn't sound like his "cabinet" does.
10 - Bass player cannot pick consistently. The good tone comes and goes. Notes will just seem to disappear, or some notes will "fart out".
11 - Bass is poorly intonated, and they are tuning a half step flat. In addition, he uses the same bass for songs where the E string is tuned yet another step flat.
12 - Guitar player has a solid state amp, and uses X Model digital guitar processor. His sound is that "mids all the way out" "scooped" sound. No tone. Totally saturated. He wants that "Pantera" guitar tone, but any time you put some midrange back in the sound, he says it doesn't sound right.
13 - Guitar is poorly intonated. In addition, the bridge pickup is so close to the strings that it is causing the sting to pull out of tune. In addition, his action is so low, the guitar will not resonate at all!
14 - Singer goes from whisper to scream, sometimes in the same vocal line. He has never been in the studio before. He has never heard himself so clearly before. His dynamics are way out of control.
15 - Singers actual tone is sort of "average", meaning he just sounds like any ol' dude off the street. The band has a very heavy aggressive sound, and this guy is singer like Richard Marx.
16 - Singer cannot sing any two takes in a row at the same volume. In fact, his volume can vary by about 6 dB from one take to the next.
17 - Singer sings flat the whole time.
18 - Singer burns out after about 1 hour because when he screams, he SCREAMS!!! Because of his dynamic and intonation problems, you have to do several takes just to get one part right.
I will add more as I can think of them. I can add SEVERAL other small things to this list and will when I have time.
Is this a real session?
Ed
2 - Band wants to do this "radio quality" sound with only 3 days to track/mix 4 songs.
3 - Band shows up, drummer has a 12 piece drumkit. It is obvious that the heads have been used for at least a week or two, and there is rust on the hoops of the drums.
4 - Drummer has the toms so low and so close to the snare that you cannot get a top mic in a position to capture a good snare sound. Since he has 4 rack tom's and two kick drums, that snare isn't moving ANYWHERE but where it is.
5 - Drummer has a cymbal over EVERY FREAKIN' tom!!! 3 inches to spare, that is it! Now you cannot get the tom mic in a good position to capture a good sound, and the cymbal bleed is horrible!!! He cannot "play well" if the cymbals are raised. That "flat" mic position on the toms will have to do, even though you cannot get any resonance on the toms now. Also, you cannot possibly supply enough quaity mic pre's for EVERY drum, so you are sharing 3 mics between 6 toms...
6 - Drummer cannot tune kit very well. You have very little time to get rid of that "ping" shit out of the toms because you only have today to track all rhythems. The rusty hoops also mean that many lugs don't twist well. Tuning a good sound is not possible. Couple with bad mic position, it looks like Drumagog is in order....
7 - Drummer does not hit consistently. Some hits show 12dB more volume on the meters than the "average" hit. Some hits show 12dB LESS than average.
8 - Drummer is playing stuff WAY too hard for him to execute well. In addition, his timing during transitions in the song is like a train wreck!
9 - Bass player uses the wrong bass for the type of sound he wants. You have to DI because you don't have iso enough to mic a cabinet. The DI sound is very flat sounding, and he insistently complains that this sound doesn't sound like his "cabinet" does.
10 - Bass player cannot pick consistently. The good tone comes and goes. Notes will just seem to disappear, or some notes will "fart out".
11 - Bass is poorly intonated, and they are tuning a half step flat. In addition, he uses the same bass for songs where the E string is tuned yet another step flat.
12 - Guitar player has a solid state amp, and uses X Model digital guitar processor. His sound is that "mids all the way out" "scooped" sound. No tone. Totally saturated. He wants that "Pantera" guitar tone, but any time you put some midrange back in the sound, he says it doesn't sound right.
13 - Guitar is poorly intonated. In addition, the bridge pickup is so close to the strings that it is causing the sting to pull out of tune. In addition, his action is so low, the guitar will not resonate at all!
14 - Singer goes from whisper to scream, sometimes in the same vocal line. He has never been in the studio before. He has never heard himself so clearly before. His dynamics are way out of control.
15 - Singers actual tone is sort of "average", meaning he just sounds like any ol' dude off the street. The band has a very heavy aggressive sound, and this guy is singer like Richard Marx.
16 - Singer cannot sing any two takes in a row at the same volume. In fact, his volume can vary by about 6 dB from one take to the next.
17 - Singer sings flat the whole time.
18 - Singer burns out after about 1 hour because when he screams, he SCREAMS!!! Because of his dynamic and intonation problems, you have to do several takes just to get one part right.
I will add more as I can think of them. I can add SEVERAL other small things to this list and will when I have time.
Is this a real session?
Ed
I swear, I can set it up to have the gain right, tonal and room sounds aside, and this guy manages to make the compressor on th pre go into 12dB of gain reduction anyway!!! I have no idea how a guy cannot hear in his headphones such a drastic gain difference, but he doesn't.
