Jokes!!

Two recently deceased gentlemen were talking in heaven.

Hi, my name is Jim, what is your name?

I'm Stuart, nice to meet you. Can I ask, how did you die?

Sure, I froze to death.

That's horrible, responded Stuart.

It wasn't so bad, after I stopped shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. How about you?

Stuart responded, I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected my wife was cheating on me, so I came home early to catch her the act, but instead found her in the den watching TV, alone.

So, what happened, asked Jim.

Well, I was so sure she was cheating on me, I ran all over the house checking all the closets, under the beds, in the basement, and even crawled up into the attic. I became so exhausted, that's where I had a heart attack, and died.

Wow, said Jim. Too bad you didn't look in the freezer....we'd both still be alive.
 
Mick Doobie said:
Two recently deceased gentlemen were talking in heaven.

Hi, my name is Jim, what is your name?

I'm Stuart, nice to meet you. Can I ask, how did you die?

Sure, I froze to death.

That's horrible, responded Stuart.

It wasn't so bad, after I stopped shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. How about you?

Stuart responded, I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected my wife was cheating on me, so I came home early to catch her the act, but instead found her in the den watching TV, alone.

So, what happened, asked Jim.

Well, I was so sure she was cheating on me, I ran all over the house checking all the closets, under the beds, in the basement, and even crawled up into the attic. I became so exhausted, that's where I had a heart attack, and died.

Wow, said Jim. Too bad you didn't look in the freezer....we'd both still be alive.
Click to expand...
Massive double-take on my end!
 
I didn't want to, but I ended up trying to explain it...I got charged with involuntary mansplaining...

Being bald is like being in Heaven: There's no dying or parting there...
(I'll see myself out)
 
How Long is a Chinese Name (period or question mark...)

Breaking News
Liberal egg farms having shortages due to only having roosters that identify as hens.

They say a car reflects your personality.
NOT TRUE! I've seen some of my co-workers' cars. . They WORK.
 
Someone I knew well once asked, "Can I ask a stupid question?"
"Better than anyone I've ever met" I've not heard from them since.

There are currently more troops in New York than in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Makes sense. We have more enemies there...

I bought a universal remote and I want my money back . . . it does NOT control the universe.
 
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