I watched a Mark Farner interview on that classic rock heroes or whatever it's called. I don't know that much about them, GFR, but it was a pretty good interview. Yeah, I don't think them boys play well together anymore, suits over band name, bad blood, typical stuff. We did used to do American Band in a band I was in years and years ago.
Boring story alert
....
A night off we weren't gigging, me, the other guitar player, and vocalist went to see a band kind of way out from our central location, not too terribly far. We were what you might call wide open balls to the wall at the time, so stopped off at the liquor store to pick up a little primer, for the drive. Pint bottles for me and the guitar player, brown liquor for me, tequila for him, and the lead singer got a 5th(!) of Vodka, mixing screwdrivers. Other guitar player was a really young guy. There at the bar was this firey hot redhead older chick than he who had set sights on him. She had a friend. So we all dapped out to the car a couple of times during the evening, get high and polish off our pints, do a little touchy feely. After show, the nights young, come on out to my crib! They agreed they would follow us. We were in the guitar players car, a real piece of shit hoopty. He was drunker than snot, so I volunteered to drive...being, ahem, more sober. So we're heading down the highway and I'm noticing there are no dash lights. It wouldn't have mattered anyway because the speed ammeter didn't work. So I'm checking the rearview every once in a while figuring if they're still behind me I'm not going too fast. I was wrong. Then I see the overhead blue lights, "I'm goin' down boys, it's the law". State trooper. Lead singer dumps a big gulp sized screwdriver right onto the floorboard, get rid of the evidence, you see. There was no hiding it, I was drunker than snot, no need to insult the guy by trying to weasel out or lie. "Sir, I am too drunk to drive. Is there any way I can leave this vehicle right here and we go up to that hotel there and get us a room?" Another trooper steps up, apparently 2 had been following us...for a while. "I can smell the liquor all the way over here. Is he going to be charged with alluding?" Ouch. The older first trooper told the younger guy I got it, and the other trooper left. I go into the whole story, not my car, dash lights out, gauging my speed by the girls following us, drunk and shouldn't be driving, can we get a hotel room. Totally honest. He acknowledges he saw the girls turn off some time back, other than that he's strictly business. We sit in the patrol car, me blowing one of those old fashioned breath tests. "Ooo, that's getting hot, how does that thing work?", I says. He says, "Well it's a chemical reaction, see how it's changing color there, that means the person blowing in it is above the legal limit to operate a motor vehicle." "Oh, that's pretty interesting. Sir, I know I'm too drunk to drive, can we just go up the hill there and get us a hotel room for the night?" Heck, we was almost pals at that point, the kind of pals that don't lie to each other. "Listen", he says, "I'm gonna write you up for the 2 bald tires you got on that vehicle, but you boys go up there and get you a room, call somebody. Whatever you do, if I see that car moved tonight, I'm comin' for you." Yes sir, yes sir."
So we climb the hill to get off the highway, and start heading through a bad part of town. Walking, trying to corral the leader to go in the same direction, all drunker than hell. Guitar player begins to sing...
"We're an American Band. We're an American Band. We got 2 bald tires but at least we're not behind bires, we're an American Band."
See what he did there? Long way around to get there, but I thought it was a fairly clever line. I'm a sharer.