teddyastuffed
New member
hey everyone ! i got this song thats kinda an different style, but just check out the lyrics. for the melody, think of something very mysterious, yet euphoric and warm, with these cold/angry lyrics. theres no chorus, not really any verses, its like a folk song if anything, but not musically. also, i dont want it to have a formal structure (if someone is gonna say that this is bad because of form, ie: no chorus, no differentiation in verses, so forth). so please, just comment on the content, diction, and whatever. i havent recorded the song yet (been pretty busy and dont have the time to sit down and record). so on the bus, i wrote this one out. check it...
WhenDay? (yes the title is one word that is the two words When and Day put together -_-)
------------
Today,
a child dies.
A mother cries.
A father buys
a casket for
his family.
They'll never see
salvation in
an enemy
that sickens more;
it's persecution of
the lowest sore.
It's societys whore.
It's murder of
a bright blue sky.
Desensitized to
the human lies.
Assimilation
of sympathizing, but
they won't submit
to a social gift
or another trick
of injustices.
It's a bullet lodged
in a vacant hedge
that's dormant till
a passerby
will realize
the fallout comes
in promises
that misconstrue
conceptions of
a deeper truth.
They'll step inside
to fall behind
in life itself.
The flag is raised,
while all's erased.
When life is born,
the end awaits.
WhenDay? (yes the title is one word that is the two words When and Day put together -_-)
------------
Today,
a child dies.
A mother cries.
A father buys
a casket for
his family.
They'll never see
salvation in
an enemy
that sickens more;
it's persecution of
the lowest sore.
It's societys whore.
It's murder of
a bright blue sky.
Desensitized to
the human lies.
Assimilation
of sympathizing, but
they won't submit
to a social gift
or another trick
of injustices.
It's a bullet lodged
in a vacant hedge
that's dormant till
a passerby
will realize
the fallout comes
in promises
that misconstrue
conceptions of
a deeper truth.
They'll step inside
to fall behind
in life itself.
The flag is raised,
while all's erased.
When life is born,
the end awaits.