New song..."Luckiest Man in the World"

[mjr]

Opinions are always welcome...

Copyright 2006, Monte Richardson

Verse 1:

There's a lot of folks who say they're the luckiest person on earth.
They have the things they want, they love what they do
they always seem content, their skies are always blue.
Too bad what they're saying ain't true.
'cause I know the luckiest person on earth
and who it is won't surprise you.

That's all I have for now...

 

[ido1957]

Opinions are always welcome...

Copyright 2006, Monte Richardson

Verse 1:

There's a lot of folks who say they're the luckiest person on earth.
They have the things they want, they love what they do
they always seem content, their skies are always blue.
Too bad what they're saying ain't true.
'cause I know the luckiest person on earth
and who it is won't surprise you.

That's all I have for now...

Aww - now I want to know who the luckiest person is......

The first three lines fit together nicely.

The fourth line leave me with a question - can't others believe they are the luckiest, even though they're not? Could you (suggestion only) say something like "They might think they're lucky" or "they're not quite as lucky" or "I know someone with who's luckier".

The last line is a bit of a teaser, I guess you'll tell us in the next line right?

Good start going here.....

 

[mjr]

Aww - now I want to know who the luckiest person is......

The first three lines fit together nicely.

The fourth line leave me with a question - can't others believe they are the luckiest, even though they're not? Could you (suggestion only) say something like "They might think they're lucky" or "they're not quite as lucky" or "I know someone with who's luckier".

The last line is a bit of a teaser, I guess you'll tell us in the next line right?

Good start going here.....

Hadn't thought about that 4th line. Your suggestions make great sense.

How about this:

"They're not quite as lucky as they may appear to you"

So then it reads:

There's a lot of folks who say they're the luckiest person on earth.
They have the things they want, they love what they do
they always seem content, their skies are always blue.
They're not quite as lucky as they may appear to you.
'cause I know the luckiest person on earth
and who it is won't surprise you.

 

[ido1957]

Hadn't thought about that 4th line. Your suggestions make great sense.

How about this:

"They're not quite as lucky as they may appear to you"

So then it reads:

There's a lot of folks who say they're the luckiest person on earth.
They have the things they want, they love what they do
they always seem content, their skies are always blue.
They're not quite as lucky as they may appear to you.
'cause I know the luckiest person on earth
and who it is won't surprise you.

Cool - that's works well....I'm getting good vibes from this.....
Keep us posted as you progress.....

 

[mjr]

Cool - that's works well....I'm getting good vibes from this.....
Keep us posted as you progress.....

Tentative Chorus:

There can only be one luckiest man in the world.
Fortune's smiled on him in so many ways.
Yes, there's only one luckiest man in the world,
and since I have you, it's me.

Here's another version:

Of all the millions of people on this earth
there is only one who is luckier than them all
Fortune's smiled on him in so many ways
There can only be one luckiest man in the world,
yes, only one can be the luckiest in this great big world
and since I have you, it's me.

 

[ido1957]

Tentative Chorus:

There can only be one luckiest man in the world.
Fortune's smiled on him in so many ways.
Yes, there's only one luckiest man in the world,
and since I have you, it's me.

Here's another version:

Of all the millions of people on this earth
there is only one who is luckier than them all
Fortune's smiled on him in so many ways
There can only be one luckiest man in the world,
yes, only one can be the luckiest in this great big world
and since I have you, it's me.

Both work well - one obviously a longer chorus than the other. Perhaps use both - making one a bridge, or repeated ending......

 

[mjr]

Both work well - one obviously a longer chorus than the other. Perhaps use both - making one a bridge, or repeated ending......

What's the actual difference between a "bridge" and a "chorus"? I always thought they were similar, just that a "bridge" was a shorter "chorus"...

I could definitely do what you're suggesting, it may work very, very well.

Which one of those would fit better? Would the longer one fit better because the # of lines match the number in the 1st verse?

 

[ido1957]

What's the actual difference between a "bridge" and a "chorus"? I always thought they were similar, just that a "bridge" was a shorter "chorus"...

Here's a rather interesting take on Bridge from Wilkpedia:

Bridge (music)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
In popular music, a bridge is a contrasting section which also prepares for the return of the original material section. The bridge may be the middle-eight in a thirty-two-bar form (the B in AABA), or it may be used more loosely in verse-chorus form, or, in a compound AABA form, used as a contrast to a full AABA section, as in "Every Breath You Take". Very commonly the "bridge" is in a contrasting key to the original melody. More often than not, the "bridge" is a perfect 4th higher. For examples, see Richard Rodgers' "Mountain Greenery" and Antonio Carlos Jobim's "Meditation" just to name two.

Lyrically, the bridge is typically used to pause and reflect on the earlier portions of the song or to prepare the listener for the climax.

Which one of those would fit better? Would the longer one fit better because the # of lines match the number in the 1st verse?

In this case I would say yes....the longer one would work well (IMHO).