BLUE Silly Song Lyrics

T

Thwok!

New member
I've got lyrics for my BLUE Microphone silly song submission, and I've got an idea for the music, but I haven't recorded it yet. I think I used all the words they supplied:

You Make My Bagpipe Blue

A succulent blonde in a disco thong
Beat up a beatnik blob, but that’s just wrong.
So I pick up my blue bagpipe and begin my song
Of Wanda, the disco blonde in a succulent thong.

Artichoke and toadstool do not a salad make,
So add chewy pork and pinto beans, so you can masticate,
Hurry up and choke it down, and meet me at your wake.
I’ll be by the spit with a spatula in a zoot suit looking fake.

chorus:
Don’t let your flapjacks go un-masticated
Make sure your poison’s polyunsaturated
You make my bagpipe blue,
Because I’m so in love with you.

Wanda, Wanda, don’t feed me this bunk,
Give me a crust, a knob, I love to dunk,
Take me back to Fresno, you disco dino-girl,
Leave me by the spit with a spatula in a zoot suit, ready to hurl.

I'd better get on it if I'm going to participate. Time's awastin'!
:D
 
This is great. I'll post mine, either after (1) I enter, or (2) decide not to.

Mowre Toim, Cap'n! Ya moost gi'me mowr TOIM!!!
scottybw.jpg
 
Wow!

You DID use every word. Impressive. I think I managed 12 or so.

I start tracking it this weekend, then I shall post "Blue-Eyed Hurlin' Girl"

Good luck!
 
Better Hurry Up! Youve only got another week! I sent my song off about 3 weeks ago. Its called Herr Franz the Disco Beatnik. I used 16 of the 25.

www.nowhereradio.com/zackhadley

Here are my lyrics:

(Verse 1)
Let me be the butter on your flapjacks
Fraulein eat up while you can.
Pork’s not the only white meat you’ll crave
once you taste my Aryan hams.

(Prechorus)
In my pinto with one headlight
We’ll own the German night
Let’s leave Berlin behind
Wanda my blue-eyed blonde Fraulein.

(Chorus)
I’m Herr Franz the disco beatnik
I’m Herr Franz the disco beatnik
I’m Herr Franz the disco beatnik

(Verse 2)
Shall I woo you with a lively polka?
my bagpipes are the largest in the land.
I’m launching blitzkrieg on your heart
with a banjo in my hand.

(Prechorus)
Do you like my rhinestone thong?
Its tight cause I’m so long
I’m hairy like King Kong
Does my fur coat turn you on?

(Chorus)

(Voiceover)
“Wanda before I met you I was a 300 kiloton blob of polyunsaturated pork lard. But now I have huge muscles and I’m hotter than a zoot suit in Fresno at sundown. Masticate on that for a while.”

(Fade out)
He’s chewy and delicious
succulently stupendous!



Best of luck to ya!
 
Also excellent - pushing the family-friendly envelope with the thong/long rhyme, aren't ya?

The Aryan thing gave me the willies too. Still, an excellent piece!!!

It would be great if someone from this board won...

Daf (who'd rather take 2nd than 1st - I already have a Baby Bottle)
 
Originally posted by dafduc:
Mowre Toim, Cap'n! Ya moost gi'me mowr TOIM!!!
Click to expand...

Engineer Scott, we need those warp engines NOW!!

pushing the family-friendly envelope with the thong/long rhyme, aren't ya?
Click to expand...

It's hard to avoid working blue on this one . . .:D :D
 
dafduc said:
Also excellent - pushing the family-friendly envelope with the thong/long rhyme, aren't ya?

The Aryan thing gave me the willies too. Still, an excellent piece!!!

It would be great if someone from this board won...

Daf (who'd rather take 2nd than 1st - I already have a Baby Bottle)
Click to expand...

Flip on any television or radio today and you'll hear far worse. I didnt think it was that taboo for family-friendly radio;)

Im confused on the working blue statement Thwok?

Best of luck,
Zack
 
Originally posted by Scriabin:
Im confused on the working blue statement Thwok?
Click to expand...

I was picking up on daf's comment on the family-friendly thing, combined with the fact that this is the BLUE microphone contest. A comedian who does dirty jokes is considered to be working "blue."

I don't know that anything in yours (nice work, by the way) is all that bad, as you say, in comparison to what's on prime time these days. Mine, if you think about what might constitute a "bagpipe", could be construed to be somewhat "blue" as well, though it is a little more subtle I guess.

It was a joke! Really!

:D
 
I'm in!!! Backing tracks went down last night - kind of a white-boy funk thing. Vocs and mixdown tonight, maybe add some tracks - just bass, drums, and rhodes right now.

Working title is Blueblue (My Busted Fridge). Here's the lyrics:

R%) Blue, blue, my food done turned blue
My busted fridge turned all of my food blue:
Toadstools growing in the crisper
on a blob of twisted grist, or
maybe it's a flapjack turned to goo;
Don't matter, 'cos all my food's blue,
All my food is blue.

1) I left home for a week, or maybe it was two,
And I wasn't gone an hour when the power knob blew,
So I finally come home - why's my house smell like dead squirrel?
Then I opened up the fridge, and it made me wanna hurl.

R%) Blue, blue, my food done turned blue
My busted fridge turned all of my food blue:
Toadstools growing in the crisper
on a blob of twisted grist, or
maybe it's a flapjack turned to goo;
Don't matter, 'cos all my food's blue,
All my food is blue.

2) So I gotta clean this fridge out, but I'm reeling in disgust,
'Cos the whole inside is covered with a fuzzy blue crust,
And my last good spatula grew a blue beatnik beard,
floating in some pinto beans and pork that's smelling extra weird.

R%) Blue, blue, my food done turned blue
My busted fridge turned all of my food blue:
Toadstools growing in the crisper
on a blob of twisted grist, or
maybe it's a flapjack turned to goo;
Don't matter, 'cos all my food's blue,
All my food is blue.

3) Now there's some chewy blue tomatoes
Some polyunsaturated blue fat
Some no-longer-blonde potatoes
Man, I've never seen tubers like that!
A once-succulent artichoke,
now oozing pre-masticated blue whey,
This ain't no minor hazmat spill, ain't no joke
Better call the EPA!

R%) Blue, blue, my food done turned blue
My busted fridge turned all of my food blue:
Toadstools growing in the crisper
on a blob of twisted grist, or
maybe it's a flapjack turned to goo;
Don't matter, 'cos all my food's blue,
All my food is blue,
All my food is blue,
All my food is blue.

Total time 2:58 - had to cut part of the intro:( to get it under 3 minutes.

I'll post the mp3 after I get the CD out in the mail...

Daf
 
Originally posted by dafduc:
Blue, blue, my food done turned blue
Click to expand...

Very funny! I want to sing it to the tune of "Love is Blue", for some reason.

I'm thinking I'm not going to get mine in. Too much other stuff going on, and I never think of it when I can do something about it. Oh well . . . it's been fun, anyway.
 
Love Is Blue was the original inspiration...

...now it sounds kinda like Rare Earth doing a poor James Brown imitation.;)

Daf
 
Hey daf, how do you like your BLUE Baby Bottle, and what is it good for? (Yeah, I could do a search, but it's easier to ask you.)

:D
 
I used it on this recording (forgot to mention that), but prefer my SP C-1 for my voice. I work with a soprano who sounds just great through the Baby Bottle, though. We tried a few mics for her, Baby Bottle was easily the best... but it's also by far the most expensive mic in my cabinet.

Daf (hoping for 2nd place - a 2nd Baby Bottle won't do me much good...)
 
Ok...I barely made the deadline with this. You can check out the audio if you wish:


Now...on to the next big thing.

Good luck to all!



Blue-Eyed Hurlin’ Girl
by Brad Athey and Julie Athey


Here’s the story of Wanda Zoot, a past Miss Fresno State
And how a happy fortune can be read in chunks of fate.
Listen now to our strange tale, a tragic comedy.
Life would be dull, I tell myself, if she weren’t so vomity…

I’d heard talk from far and near
About her strange affliction.
Some said she had a nasty bug,
Some said she feared rejection.

My roommate set us up;
In fact, I did it on a dare.
But I was drawn to her blue eyes
And long blonde shiny hair.

And as we laughed and talked that night
She won me with her ways.
But the rumors surfaced in my head
As the waiter brought entrees.

Her face turned green, all Hell broke loose,
She looked like Linda Blair.
Yet mixed in with that barf barrage
True love was in the air...and….I now know that…

Salted pork or a pinto bean, an artichoke heart or a blob of cream,
The aroma of a hot flapjack will make her upper GI attack.
She never eats toast and never eats steak,
there’s not too much she’ll masticate.
No matter how sweet or succulent, no matter the texture or the scent,
She’ll lose her lunch…yeah, we don’t get out too much in the world.
But that’s okay; I’ll just stay home with my blue-eyed hurlin’ girl.
(And that’s okay, he’ll just stay home with his blue-eyed hurlin’ girl.)

The years have passed and I’ve gotten good at
Mopping up the floor.
But except for meals in separate rooms
We’re happy, ever more.

Friday nights we’ll cozy up
And watch a video.
But no salty nuts or chewy snacks
dare interrupt the show.

And when the credits finally roll and
We slip off to bed.
Sometimes I sneak back downstairs
To have a bite instead.

I wouldn’t change a thing today
‘cause it’s still heaven when we kiss.
I’m just glad that I don’t smell
Like somethin’ on her list…..like…

Salted pork or a pinto bean, an artichoke heart or a blob of cream,
The aroma of a hot flapjack, which make her upper GI attack.
She never eats shrimp and never eats fish, can’t keep down a fresh knish.
No matter how sweet or succulent, no matter the texture or the scent,
She’ll lose her lunch…yeah, we don’t get out too much in the world.
But that’s OK; I’ll just stay home with my blue-eyed hurlin’ girl.
(And that’s okay, he’ll just stay home with his blue-eyed hurlin’ girl.)

The doctors, shrinks, and ministers, all true professionals --
None of them can diagnose her gastro-intestinals.
It’s like an X-files show, when …

Salted pork or a pinto bean, an artichoke heart or a blob of cream,
The aroma of a hot flapjack all make her upper GI attack.
She can’t eat cheese that’s fried or grated, nothing polyunsaturated.
No matter how sweet or succulent, no matter the texture or the scent,
She’ll lose her lunch…yeah, we don’t get out too much in the world.
But that’s OK; I’ll just stay home with my blue-eyed hurlin’ girl.

She may throw up, but I don’t care, she’s my imperfect pearl.
And she’s fine by me ... and I’ll never leave …
my blue-eyed hurlin’ girl.
(She’s fine with him, he’ll never leave his blue-eyed hurlin’ girl - yeah.)
 
Sounds like a case of spontaneous Bulimia to me! LMAO.

I can't listen to them now, at work, but I'll try to check out the audio later. Yours has got to be pretty long, with all those lyrics, gascap (but i assume you got it within the required length). I didn't get mine in, so I'll just root for one of you guys to win (dafduc to come in second).

This is inspiring me to write new lyrics! Should be easy if you don't have to work in "masticate" or "dino", etc. Look out, Rhymin' Simon!

:D
 
Yea, I tried to steer clear of the bulimia/anorexia angle (not too PC, ya know) The song is 2:59 - but I'm singing pretty fast to make it (and it's all lyrics pretty much from start to finish)....this after wife suggested the slow minor intro before the song kicks in, in earnest.

You wonder: Just what WOULD P. Simon come up with given this criteria?.....

I guess all we can do now is wait for the judges.

Good luck to all!
 
Thanks! For the stupid thing that it is, I think it worked out pretty well. I'm curious when they post the results.
 
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