I'm sorry in advance, but please tell where should I improve.

[h=2]I'm sorry in advance[/h]

No need to be !
You can definitely sing. Just continue with what you're doing and experiment with different expressions. Incorporate laughter, for example, into some lines. Try tunefully fitting in lots of words into a phrase that has only a few syllables {I call that being fast mouthed}. And the opposite, fitting one word across several syllables and notes. The more expression you feel comfortable with, the more scope you will have in delivering different songs.
 
No need to be !
You can definitely sing. Just continue with what you're doing and experiment with different expressions. Incorporate laughter, for example, into some lines. Try tunefully fitting in lots of words into a phrase that has only a few syllables {I call that being fast mouthed}. And the opposite, fitting one word across several syllables and notes. The more expression you feel comfortable with, the more scope you will have in delivering different songs.

Cool thanks :) I'll work on it
 
the mix and instruments is good....but the live vocal, could be re-done with a separate vocal track that could be worked on and allow fixing things.
theres some flat notes on the climax part, and toward the performance seems to get off key, auto-tune it? just practice more and more.

Two different situations:
1) as for playing it live and getting off key happens to pro's, practice more,
2)...but for a recording the song .... overdub! tweak the words to roll better, re-do the bad parts, autotuned, punch in..etc..too many words in some lines can be reduced, to "fit" better

the gear sounds good, the levels sound good, clarity is not a problem.
 
CoolCat: yea, actually I had to remember the lyrics by-heart and play it live. I didn't practice much though next time I'll make sure I have practice more.
Thanks :)
 
I'm not a musician, but I've done more than 400 (pre-recorded) radio shows heard on two Catholic radio networks. I think the idea of recording the instruments separately will give you more chance to "nailing" the vocal part to your liking. I think your voice suits the song well. Maybe next Christmas I can get the latest version to play?

BTW, here's a priest I have worked with. He knows Scott McPherson (a Pentacostalist) who gives him sample carbon-fiber guitars to take to the orphanage he runs in Peru so the kids there have decent gear to use. McPherson wrote this song. There are MANY variations on YouTube. Give it a try! YouTube
 
Don't worry. You can sing and you don't even need a bucket or a lid to carry the tune. I only heard minor pitch issues and I'm sure that was because you were playing at the same time. For recording purposes, that's not the best way to get a good track. Sure, playing live is sometimes necessary, but in this case, you'd sound better singing the vocal alone, while listening to the finished accompaniment.

It stands to reason. You don't have to listen to what you're playing on the piano at the same time as you're listening to what you're singing. Not that it isn't possible, but especially if you aren't totally familiar with the song, you are thinking of too many things at the same time to get everything just the way you want them.

What I'd do is sing the song enough that you can do it with relative ease. Once you get familiar with it, breathing in the right places, pronouncing the words, getting the phrasing down, etc, you'll sound much better. I'm sure this was just a simple recording to see if you should continue singing or not. It was not intended to be perfect.

Well, now you know you can sing in tune. But, there's more to it, than that. Like I said, finding places where you can breath without it being noticed and that usually includes getting the phrasing correct. Sometimes it's necessary to be overly correct in pronouncing some lyrics, to get the vocal to work. Sometimes hesitating a bit off the beat can also loosen up an otherwise stiff and rudimentary sounding vocal.

All of this comes from repetition. Sing the song a lot of times, but without playing the piano. Record all of the music, so all you have to do is think of the vocal. Record it and then listen to it. Critic it. Record it again, maybe changing something, to see if that is better or worse than the one before. After a while, the song will come easy to you and that's when you are getting close to being ready to record it for keeps.

You can also punch in a part, if that works best, instead of singing the whole song every time. Once you get easy parts down, you can work on the tougher parts. But, sometimes punching in can also have its problems. You are doing something other than singing again, and that can take your thoughts way from the primary goal, which is getting a good vocal track. Maybe record on another track, if you have one available. That way, you don't have to worry so much about the mechanics of recording...just singing the song.

Practice singing. Listening to your own voice can be strange, at first. We don't hear our own voices the same way as others do. When it's recorded, that's how others hear us. Get accustomed to hearing your voice on a track so you can put that strangeness out of your head.

All of this will work, with practice. You have the necessary skills. Now you need to put them all to use.
 
I'm not a musician, but I've done more than 400 (pre-recorded) radio shows heard on two Catholic radio networks. I think the idea of recording the instruments separately will give you more chance to "nailing" the vocal part to your liking. I think your voice suits the song well. Maybe next Christmas I can get the latest version to play?

BTW, here's a priest I have worked with. He knows Scott McPherson (a Pentacostalist) who gives him sample carbon-fiber guitars to take to the orphanage he runs in Peru so the kids there have decent gear to use. McPherson wrote this song. There are MANY variations on YouTube. Give it a try! YouTube

Yes I agree with that. By having vocals recorded separately I can focus more on the pitch. Good song btw
Thanks :)
 
It stands to reason. You don't have to listen to what you're playing on the piano at the same time as you're listening to what you're singing. Not that it isn't possible, but especially if you aren't totally familiar with the song, you are thinking of too many things at the same time to get everything just the way you want them.

I did that. I was listening to my playing and singing simultaneously hence I was not able to focus on 1 thing.

I'm sure this was just a simple recording to see if you should continue singing or not. It was not intended to be perfect.

Yea that's true. I just wanted to show people that I can sing. Some people think I just edit my vocals to sound good.

Well, now you know you can sing in tune

I'm glad to hear that :D

You can also punch in a part, if that works best, instead of singing the whole song every time

Yea I have done it sometimes in my previous songs. But sometimes it disrupts the flow of the song

All of this will work, with practice. You have the necessary skills. Now you need to put them all to use.

True, thank you very much for helping me out :)
 
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