Is this too Poetic...to become a song?

[Henry Duthler]

Crack Of Dawn
by Henry Duthler

Take my hand and journey onward
Into a place unknown
A time unnoticed and a place unseen
Welcome to a new home sweet home

New as life yet as old as death
I am unsure of who I am
It is untold and I'll not ask
For there is no one else in this land
Not forgotten is a life mislead
It seems as though it calls to me
I do not know whether I can respond
Or if I did, if it would answer me

Awaiting what is sure to come
My fear of knowledge becomes known to me
Close my eyes, and see no more
for one cannot be hurt by that which goes unseen
Never before have I felt this way
And it seems as though it matters not
For the silence in this solitary
I will always know, for it cannot be forgot

Seconds seem like hours now
And there are many hours left to wait
Never knowing the time that's left
Forever thinking of my now nearing fate
In dark shadows of this night
Alone, afraid and quite unwell
I seek that which in my heart can comfort
One lost soul that in torment dwell

In attempt to conceal my fears
I pretend I'm no longer alone
There is another here and he is not afraid
He tells me he can take me home
Take my hand, and let it pass
For the time you've left is forever gone
Journey onward and live again
For quickly approaches the crack of dawn.


A friend of mine wanted me to turn this into a song...but I think it's way too long...and too poetic...just curious...if anyone here can find a way to help me convert this to lyrics...or just forget the idea....

Let me know

 

[ido1957]

Good writing Henry.

I would turn this into a song....

Songs are expected to be poetic in a lot of cases - except maybe metal .

With so many lines you might build two versions - a long one and a short one.

American Pie was pretty long and there were two versions.....

 

[Trumpspade]

Crack Of Dawn
by Henry Duthler

Take my hand and journey onward
Into a place unknown
A time unnoticed and a place unseen
Welcome to a new home sweet home

New as life yet as old as death
I am unsure of who I am
It is untold and I'll not ask
For there is no one else in this land
Not forgotten is a life mislead
It seems as though it calls to me
I do not know whether I can respond
Or if I did, if it would answer me

Awaiting what is sure to come
My fear of knowledge becomes known to me
Close my eyes, and see no more
for one cannot be hurt by that which goes unseen
Never before have I felt this way
And it seems as though it matters not
For the silence in this solitary
I will always know, for it cannot be forgot

Seconds seem like hours now
And there are many hours left to wait
Never knowing the time that's left
Forever thinking of my now nearing fate
In dark shadows of this night
Alone, afraid and quite unwell
I seek that which in my heart can comfort
One lost soul that in torment dwell

In attempt to conceal my fears
I pretend I'm no longer alone
There is another here and he is not afraid
He tells me he can take me home
Take my hand, and let it pass
For the time you've left is forever gone
Journey onward and live again
For quickly approaches the crack of dawn.


A friend of mine wanted me to turn this into a song...but I think it's way too long...and too poetic...just curious...if anyone here can find a way to help me convert this to lyrics...or just forget the idea....

Let me know

Yeah, anything can be turned into a song, not necessarily verbatum. But nevertheless, I think it is a very deep poem and I am printing it out as I write!
Good job with the words man!

 

[up-fiddler]

As I read this the tune for the old hymn God of Grace and God of Glory jumped into my head and the words fit nearly perfect. I'm not trying to be preachy but just trying to show that this could easily be put to music and sound great. The lyric is powerful and, though long for radio play, it paints a fine mural.

 

[mjr]

Crack Of Dawn
by Henry Duthler

Take my hand and journey onward
Into a place unknown
A time unnoticed and a place unseen
Welcome to a new home sweet home

New as life yet as old as death
I am unsure of who I am
It is untold and I'll not ask
For there is no one else in this land
Not forgotten is a life mislead
It seems as though it calls to me
I do not know whether I can respond
Or if I did, if it would answer me

Awaiting what is sure to come
My fear of knowledge becomes known to me
Close my eyes, and see no more
for one cannot be hurt by that which goes unseen
Never before have I felt this way
And it seems as though it matters not
For the silence in this solitary
I will always know, for it cannot be forgot

Seconds seem like hours now
And there are many hours left to wait
Never knowing the time that's left
Forever thinking of my now nearing fate
In dark shadows of this night
Alone, afraid and quite unwell
I seek that which in my heart can comfort
One lost soul that in torment dwell

In attempt to conceal my fears
I pretend I'm no longer alone
There is another here and he is not afraid
He tells me he can take me home
Take my hand, and let it pass
For the time you've left is forever gone
Journey onward and live again
For quickly approaches the crack of dawn.


A friend of mine wanted me to turn this into a song...but I think it's way too long...and too poetic...just curious...if anyone here can find a way to help me convert this to lyrics...or just forget the idea....

Let me know

I think it'd be a great song. As ido1957 said, you might want to consider doing two versions.

Nothing wrong with a poetic song.

Keep up the good work!

 

[Freddy]

Nothing wrong with a poetic song at all.

Actually, something with a hymnal feel might work well on that! Not sure if that was what up-fiddler was suggesting.

Or think Leonard Cohen maybe?