Partners

[Snowman999]

You ever record a song and like it one minute and can't stand it the next? Maybe I'm getting too picky, or maybe not picky enough.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Partners by Frances Farmer My Hero | Free Listening on SoundCloud
You were unruly
Left me in charge of the moon
I didn't notice
Twinkling stars spoon

Talking trash
Makes us laugh
Time flies fast
Present's left in the past

Sun rose yelling Hey
Leave for the day
I chose to stay
Tanning in the rays

Eclipse my eyes
A lovely surprise
Jealous disguise
Losing rises from the lies

We're partners - partners for life
Rise and set
Dusk to dawn
Winter to spring
Summer to fall

We're partners - partners for life
Heaven made
Good and bad
Time well spent
Happy or sad

Partners
Can't let me down
Partners
Can't let me down

 

[TalismanRich]

I've had times where I deleted everything and started over. It just wasn't working.

To me, this one came across more a demo of a song that "could be". The first half of it seems unfinished to me. The doubled vocal doesn't seem to gel. I think you would be better to add a harmony line instead of straight doubling, more like you started to do at the end.

Hope this make sense.

 

[Snowman999]

I've had times where I deleted everything and started over. It just wasn't working.

To me, this one came across more a demo of a song that "could be". The first half of it seems unfinished to me. The doubled vocal doesn't seem to gel. I think you would be better to add a harmony line instead of straight doubling, more like you started to do at the end.

Hope this make sense.

It does. I am putting this sucker away for a long while. I'll come back to it fresh. Because in the end, if you're not happy with your own song, you can't really expect others to be. The strange part with this song, my friends and from other sites really like the riff I play. I'm completely torn by it. One reason might be (and this is really sad) I tried for weeks hitting record and nothing fit. Then that popped up and because it worked, I kept it. Can you imagine working on a piece for weeks and that's the best you got?

 

[TalismanRich]

Absolutely understand what you're saying.

I've a song that has been on the back burner for a few years. It started when I was reading about a guy who drove his car into the river to commit suicide. You wonder "whats going through his head that he would do such a thing". The chord progression started with Esus Fmaj7 through the verse. I fleshed out a couple of verses based on the that article and a couple of others in the news that day. Tried doing a few takes to see if it worked.

Maybe it was too dark of a subject, but I was never able to bring it together. Maybe someday, I'll hit another dark day and it will resurface.

We can't all be Lennon/McCartney, or King/Goffin.

 

[Snowman999]

Absolutely understand what you're saying.

I've a song that has been on the back burner for a few years. It started when I was reading about a guy who drove his car into the river to commit suicide. You wonder "whats going through his head that he would do such a thing". The chord progression started with Esus Fmaj7 through the verse. I fleshed out a couple of verses based on the that article and a couple of others in the news that day. Tried doing a few takes to see if it worked.

Maybe it was too dark of a subject, but I was never able to bring it together. Maybe someday, I'll hit another dark day and it will resurface.

We can't all be Lennon/McCartney, or King/Goffin.

I love dark. It's in my blood. I'd settle for being Johanson/Thunders. More Thunders. He was truer to rock.