Original Song - Looking for Feedback

I'm no expert composer but I know what I like. And I prefer more changes in a song. This sounds like a very good PART of a song.
 
The way you are doing the vocals sounds like tension for a build up that never comes. That might be why it sounds unfinished. I listened to the lyrics and it is a complete song, but I would re-think how you do the vocals as it gives the wrong impression where the song is going. Based on the vocal presentation, I was waiting for it to kick in that never came.

That would be my two cents and that is probably over valued.
 
Try to make it more interesting. It has no highlights and all the same throughout. At the moment nothing really "hooks" me on the song.
 
I like your voice and your delivery.

But the song drifts on without direction. I echo the comments the others have made.
 
I think your vocals have potential. I am looking for a female vocalist to collaborate. I can send you a WAV, you can add your vocals. I don't get money. We both get publicity. Sound interesting?
 
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