Love above the high water line - lyrics

Whatmysay

New member
This is the latest song I have been working on. I would appreciate thoughts on lyric and/or arrangement.

Thank you

Burt

Love, above the high water line (Burt Crow 30.09.2010)

1.
Born on the shores of Mississippi
Wet in rainfalls, that floods our history
Now the river’s getting higher
My daddy said its time to leave
He could see that I was frightened
He said son just believe

Ch
That we’ve got love, above the high water line
Even if this flood is a ‘one in a lifetime’
The levees may break; the river will take what it finds
But love remains high and dry
Above the high water line

2
My daddy passed, drowned saving our neighbour
So I grew up fast working the delta
Now the river’s getting higher
As a wake my daughter and wife
See my little girl is frightened
I say it’ll be all right

Ch

Bridge
Like a story from the bible I curse the storm and ask my God
Why’d you test me with this trial, when I’m sinking and can’t go on?
Then I feel my father’s hand
Guiding me to higher ground
And I breathe
And I believe

Ch
 
I tried to imagine some C&W tune to this, but it didn't help my intial impression that what you have is too wordy. Maybe the tune you've given it supports a lot of syllables, but generally speaking, song lyrics usually don't have this much content.

The other thing is that I couldn't find a theme, other than it seems to be a commentary on the singer's family over two generations on the Mississippi. I see how you're tieing it to a spiritual lesson, but if that's the case, then perhaps it would help if this is "hooked" into the chorus with something a bit more obvious.

Also, "Love" is in the title, and you speak of love in the chorus, but there's nothing in any of the verses that demonstrate love, or how love can change the present conditions. If this is the direction you wish to go, then you need to develop how love has helped through the difficult times living on the river.

Questions I have are:
*What is the storm referenced in the bridge? (Unless you're specifically talking about Katrina, storms don't normally precede floods on the Mississippi -- they occur from snowmelt in the northern Plains.)
*Is father=the singer's father, or is Father=God?

As I re-read the lyrics, it seems to me that you've talked more about "faith" than "love". IMO, it needs some streamlining to zero-in on what you really want to say.

Just my two cents...

-Bruce
 
Cheers Bruce

Incisive and direct. Your two cents is worth a lot more than that and I really appreciate your attention to the detail of my work.

You have given me a lot to consider, but I think a rewrite of the Vs might well be in order.

The father is the 'singers father', but after writing it I realised the ambiguity and was not bothered by it, perhaps I should be.

Alternatively perhaps I am pitching the wrong genre? If not country, in its current form where would you place it?

Cheers
Burt
 
I think any time a song is placed along the Mississippi, you have to assume it is folk/country, alternately Cajun, and perhaps New Orleans jazz...although that genre doesn't usually venture too deeply into story. As I close my eyes and try to imagine the delivery of this song, I hear an acoustic guitar, a solo violin, and perhaps a steel guitar. Soft drums, or some other subtle percussion instrument. You'd have to experiment with pianos -- a Steinway D might work, but probably an upright would be a better choice.

I would consider a slight alteration to your song structure...and it might help you retain some of the ideas that are too much in its present state with only two verses. AABACB would give you more time, and the ability to evolve the story.

Verse 3 is your opportunity to begin to tie things up, and give some sense of hope to the listener. Don't repeat the themes of Verse 1 and 2 that seem pretty bleak. And then the Bridge should carry the listener right into the Chorus believing in your proposition that love conquers all the hell that the river can throw at the singer. Does a couple get married? Do the neighbors get together to rebuild someone's barn that was washed away? Is a child born that heralds a new generation on the river? Tell the listener why anyone would want to live there...there must be a payoff to make it worth the troubles.

The three musical themes you choose as you compose the instrumentation will work in concert with the lyrics. The verses may be somber, perhaps in a minor key, the bridge should be different enough to "surprise" the listener...and this is imperative...your chorus needs to be in a major key, and make you joyful to hear it. With the heaviness of the lyrics, you need the music to offset the mood.

Best of luck!

-Bruce
 
Originally I had 3 verses and the final verse brings some level of conclusion;

3
Our life is on loan and this land has been borrowed
From the river that flows into all our tomorrows
Now the water’s running quieter
It’s hunger taken to the sea
And the sun is shining brighter
My daughter says to me
 
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