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Thread: I have lyrics to offer and would love a collaboration

  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ciren View Post
    Hey Gecko,

    How are you? This is a sample one I quickly drafted today:

    you are my sunrise,
    dawn in my day,
    ocean of dreams.

    You bring hope
    to my despair,
    every day in a year.

    you are the bond
    which tightly binds
    threads in this heart.

    you are my summer
    and now my winter,
    my seasons for all time.

    Please give me your opinion. I'd appreciate any feedback. Thanks
    What you've written there is far easier for someone to create music for. For example, you could call the song 'Seasons' and use the last bit as a chorus, maybe with a few extra lines, e.g.

    you are my spring,
    you are my autumn
    you are my reasons for feeling fine
    you are my summer
    you are my winter
    you are my seasons for all time


    So you have three verses and a chorus. Another verse would some in handy.

  2. #22
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    HI Gecko,

    Thanks for feedback. I'll keep working on it and send you a more complete version. (:

  3. #23
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    Hi Gecko,

    Here's I have added a verse. I also have a part that could be chorus although I like your suggestion. Please let me know what you think:

    you are my sunrise,
    dawn in my day,
    ocean of dreams.

    You bring hope
    to my despair,
    every day in a year.

    you are the bond
    which tightly binds
    threads in this heart.

    you are my summer
    and now my winter,
    my seasons for all time

    You are my sunshine
    my reason for waking,
    on cool balmy days.


    Possible Chorus?

    After all you're my fire
    my destiny today
    my once upon a time
    stay with me this fine
    day, this year, for eons.
    After all, you're my fire
    my destiny today,
    my once upon a time,
    stay with me this fine
    day, this year, for eons.

    Thanks. Looking forward to your comments.(:

  4. #24
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    Hi Gecko,

    How are you doing?

    Here's another one to look at:

    You found a heart to hold
    a new heart that beats in time
    to tunes of swing and soul.

    Tell me are you happy
    now you've left me
    tell me are you happy
    with your new found penny

    Now, the picture has faded
    and I can't see your eyes
    reflecting that light of love

    We could have been a light
    in the eyes of this grown world
    where the dream has shattered

    Tell me are you happy
    now you've left me
    Tell me are you happy
    with your new found penny


    Hope to hear from you!

    Best

  5. #25
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    @Ciren

    If I get a chance I will see what tunes suggest themselves.

    The structure of both is much more easy to cast into a song.

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