First song - You've changed

[stellina91]

Hi all,

This is my first ever songwriting attempt, I am pretty happy with the lyrics thus far but if anyone would like to help improve them please feel free share your ideas. I am only 18 and I have a huge passion for singing! I have the melody for the song - if interested you can check it out here...

https://homerecording.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=295631

Thanks heaps!

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Verse 1
When I was young
Thought that I had known much better
Now I know it was just a part of my imagination
Don’t know right from what’s wrong anymore
I’ve realised, I was wrong all along

Chorus
You’ve changed, you’ve gone
Everything I’ve ever known
Don’t know who you are
Like a shadow hanging in the dark
Where did you go?
Feels like a piece missing from my heart
Why’d it end this way?

Verse 2
How could I
Not have seen it coming sooner?
Our memories are merely dreams I’ll only remember
You closed the door, without saying goodbye
It was then I knew, our love was make-believe, one big lie

Chorus
You’ve changed, you’ve gone
Everything I’ve ever known
Don’t know who you are
Like a shadow hanging in the dark
Where did you go?
Feels like a piece missing from my heart
Why’d it end this way?

Bridge
All I ever wanted was for you to see
How a match made in heaven we were made to be
Picture perfect, was it worth it?

Chorus
You’ve changed, you’ve gone
Everything I’ve ever known
Don’t know who you are
Like a shadow hanging in the dark
Where did you go?
Feels like a piece missing from my heart
Why’d it end this way?

Chorus
You’ve changed, you’ve gone
Everything I’ve ever known
Don’t know who you are
Like a shadow hanging in the dark
Where did you go?
Feels like a piece missing from my heart
Why’d it end this way?

 

[Paulie Jay]

It is obvious that you are writing form the heart here. The lyrics are very direct, although you haven't bypassed imagery completely, which is a good thing. There is a strong sense of loss and regret - full points for mood!

There are a couple of occasions where the lyrics do slide towards cliche - "Don’t know right from what’s wrong", and "don't know who you are" are pretty common phrases. I'm not saying that they are bad lines, but as the second one appears in the chorus it does get repeated several times.

I think this is a good effort.