Ahhh . . . words of wisdom from Mr. Moon.
Find a back door. How are you with sales? If there's anything a commercial studio needs right now, it's new clients. You mentioned you could be a plumber . . . which I understand was a joke,
but what if you had that skill and offered it for free or at a discount to studios in exchange for some time behind the console?
I have a very small, modest studio, but I just had a leaky pipe the other day and water got all over the floor in one of my tracking rooms. Hell, I'd take on an intern if he didn't know jack shit about recording, but could stop a leak.
I'd give plenty of free studio time to someone who could help redesign my web site. I'll even give a complimentary handjob if you're good with electronics, and can upgrade some of my gear.
If you have any construction/handiman skills, then I don't think there's a studio in the world who couldn't have at least some use for you.
My point is that you can very likely gain an advantage over the many thousand other applicants if you can bring something else to the table that would be of some use. Then, of course, you're going to have to have at least some basic sales skills to sell yourself and/or sell someone on the idea of why you would be an asset.