Your vocal is pretty much the perfect tonal balance imo. I'm listening on harsher laptop speakers and it sounds full/not harsh. All of your other instruments need a lot of work, you can go much further with a good mix, but I think your intro guitar may need re-tracking so you do not get that harsh piercing note. mute your verb/effects if you have any extras does that help? EQ it out. try a De-esser on 4k and above (high shelf ducking) or multiband, duck 12db if you need to, disguise the harsh notes with warmth EQ, or re-track, I think perhaps now you have a pretty good vocal sound (tonal balance) you may want to work on slotting the bass into your mix, I couldn't hear it at all by the way on my laptop. probably means it's lacking a ton of 300hz or thereabouts. overdrive on the high piercing percussion (good for harsh cymbals etc) and turn it down like 5db, scoop those ugly mids on keyboard 800-1k very wide band, will make it sound much smoother + better at louder volume, clear room for other instruments and enhance warmth+airiness. your instruments are not gelling quite right, work on eq only and balancing and get the mix sounding great using just that, then concentrate on the effects after.
watch produce like a pro (mixing bass) and employ that technique, just use the di. this should give your mix (vocal/guitar/bass) the foundation + appropiate brightness, get the bass right and even that piercing note may not be half as bad!, or at the very least, the nice warm full low end will give you something to balance the highs to. blend the keyboard in last. don't balance anything to that high percussion, it's way too bright/harsh, use a spectrum analyzer on your master, SPAN is free, keep relatively flat, easy to spot buildups by eye and to get your bass in the ballpark.
Don't dwell on the mix for too long, work on something else at the same time if you can to keep perspective.
Good job.
(edit: get a great mix and it will sound balanced and pleasing to listen to on all speakers, it will translate. but don't expect it to sound like the reference (although you can get it to sound much closer), for that you will need to re-track with different methods/treated room)