"A Yellow Ribbon", New Song... I need feedback!

1

14yearoldkid

New member
Hey all, I just put up a new song I wrote and roughly recorded... I'm 18 years old and music is what I want to do in life. Give it a listen and post your comments here. The song is about one of my friends that had her father go to iraw and she is waiting for him to come back, hence the name " a yellow ribbon" the words are really meaningful... Thanks again

Www.myspace.com/bxany <--- take a listen!


Www.myspace.com/bxany
 
Nice job - good message, well crafted lyrics, and a great sentiment.

Also, the playing suits the song very well.

All in all, well done.
 
feedback - good song...captures the mood quite well.

suggestions: just my opinions

1. Piano sounds too fake. I'd find a better sounding Piano sound on another keyboard.
2. I'd like to hear light drums and bass tucked in the back somewhere. Kick it in at the end of the first chorus, establish the smooth rhythm for a few bars, then carry it out to the end of the song.
3. more verb on the vocals. sounds a tad dry.
4. vocals - you sound timid. do you like your voice? Probably not, right? I like it, but it honesly sounds whiny and weak in some spots. Stand back a little from the mic and let it all out mang!
5. i'd bring out the BGVs a tad more as well. they sound good and compliment well!


again, just my opinions here.
 
...

Hey man! yeah i should try another sound on the piano... About my voice, Im mainly a drummer so yeah i kinda am kinda shy of my voice. What are BGVs... and theres no way i can record good live sounding drums cause it will sound terrible with my equipment, lol. Yeah this song i just left the piano cause i was so anxious to put it up! But yeah i will definetly record some bass on it. Thanks for listening man i really appreciate it, This song i wrote for a girl (which i really liked), and her dad left for Iraq and i wrote this song for her... She loved it and two days later she said she is going to Air Force training and leaving for 9 months, and doesnt want anything to do with me! LOL I dont know why i am telling you this i guess i just wanted you to know why i wrote this song... Thanks again

-bryan
 
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