Will Ya Give My Song A Critical Listen?
- Thread starter Sydfan
- Start date
DavidK
New member
There seems to be an unwritten " Code of ethics" here: Listen to the other guy's stuff and comment, and they will tend to listen to your stuff and comment too. You have a song that is very worthy of hearing, but you should encourage the other people as well, and you will get lot's of ears
No worries. Just don't take offense at a tune I'll be posting soon about doubting your faith.
Nice, clean recording with good balance.
Nit picks:
That bass tone would sound just about right if you lost that pick.
I think you went a tad overboard with the stereo effects. There's no center to the vocals and the toms jump back & forth too much.
Done and done!!! Thanks for the hint!DavidK said:There seems to be an unwritten " Code of ethics" here: Listen to the other guy's stuff and comment, and they will tend to listen to your stuff and comment too. You have a song that is very worthy of hearing, but you should encourage the other people as well, and you will get lot's of ears
jcmm
Kwality
Welcome Sydfan
This is a real clean recording!
Vocals are clean and harmonies are nice. Guitar is fairly crisp.
Vocal treatment in the mix is nice (FX) I would bring it down the middle since there seems to be a gap in the balance.
I play bass with a pick and experience some of the same issues you are hearing. One thing you can try is a felt pick or something that won't snap the strings as much, some EQ could also bring up the low end as well as even out the highs on that bass guitar.
The drums are nice! (real drums!!.......man I wish!!)
the panning isn't that big one way or the other but the toms sound a little muddy to me. a little compression/eq could give that kit the snap to go with the rest of the tune.
Please share with us how this was recorded. Equipment and so on. Its a very nice recording and I would love to hear how you did it.
Keep it up!
Joel
This is a real clean recording!
Vocals are clean and harmonies are nice. Guitar is fairly crisp.
Vocal treatment in the mix is nice (FX) I would bring it down the middle since there seems to be a gap in the balance.
I play bass with a pick and experience some of the same issues you are hearing. One thing you can try is a felt pick or something that won't snap the strings as much, some EQ could also bring up the low end as well as even out the highs on that bass guitar.
The drums are nice! (real drums!!.......man I wish!!)
the panning isn't that big one way or the other but the toms sound a little muddy to me. a little compression/eq could give that kit the snap to go with the rest of the tune.
Please share with us how this was recorded. Equipment and so on. Its a very nice recording and I would love to hear how you did it.
Keep it up!
Joel
Thanks for the kind words Joel! I feel embarrassed to put this out there after hearing what you guys have! WOW!jcmm said:
I recorded this on my Korg D8-eight track digital recorder. For everything except the drums I used my Peavey XR600 powered mixer into my D8. (I know....it does suck!!) I used an SM58 on the guitars and bass. I recorded the drums with my new (to me) mixer, which is a Tascam M-216. I used SM58's on all the drums, and one AKG C2000B mic overhead. I also used the AKG on the acoustic and vocals. I have A LOT to learn!!! Thanks for listening!
darwinsdoggy
New member
I like the vocals in this song.
Oh, and I'm like you when it comes to bass except I go one step further and actually call it really bad names when my kids aren't around. I HATE playing the bass...
Oh, and I'm like you when it comes to bass except I go one step further and actually call it really bad names when my kids aren't around. I HATE playing the bass...
alexspetty
New member
overall i like this tune.
its well arranged. and the performances are solid.
my biggest criticism would have to be of the rhythm section from an engineering standpoint. they are indeed fairly tight and doing some interesting things.. but sonically, both are quite thin in tone and presence. the toms where tuned pretty low, so be it. but gate them a bit to tighten them up. The snare feels dead too. I think its an EQ thing for the snare, play with it a bit.
the arpegiated synth was good for filling the frequency space in the verse sections, but i didnt care for the bank selection. a little too 70's or something. maybe this is what you where going for?
anyhow. please dont think i am being negative, overall i like this tune. my feedback is meant to be constructive.
-alex
its well arranged. and the performances are solid.
my biggest criticism would have to be of the rhythm section from an engineering standpoint. they are indeed fairly tight and doing some interesting things.. but sonically, both are quite thin in tone and presence. the toms where tuned pretty low, so be it. but gate them a bit to tighten them up. The snare feels dead too. I think its an EQ thing for the snare, play with it a bit.
the arpegiated synth was good for filling the frequency space in the verse sections, but i didnt care for the bank selection. a little too 70's or something. maybe this is what you where going for?
anyhow. please dont think i am being negative, overall i like this tune. my feedback is meant to be constructive.
-alex
I take no offense at all! That's why I posted it here. I want to learn. There are so many great recordings, and I just registered today. It's tough for me to do a lot with something once it's recorded. I don't have the best gear in the world, and I can only add 2 effects during mixdown, and I really don't want to record with effects. Any suggestions on how to remedy this would be greatly appreicated!! As for the 70's sound, that's pretty much where I come from, so I guess it just comes out in my tunes.alexspetty said:overall i like this tune.
its well arranged. and the performances are solid.
my biggest criticism would have to be of the rhythm section from an engineering standpoint. they are indeed fairly tight and doing some interesting things.. but sonically, both are quite thin in tone and presence. the toms where tuned pretty low, so be it. but gate them a bit to tighten them up. The snare feels dead too. I think its an EQ thing for the snare, play with it a bit.
the arpegiated synth was good for filling the frequency space in the verse sections, but i didnt care for the bank selection. a little too 70's or something. maybe this is what you where going for?
anyhow. please dont think i am being negative, overall i like this tune. my feedback is meant to be constructive.
-alex
Jamal Bucket
New member
well now i feel like an ass for my song....
what filthy rags youd see....very cool.
bass might be too loud...or just need compressed...vocals are great ....drums WOW...great....i wanted you to go higher on .."run me DOWN"...but thats ok. lol the song seems to be struggling with is it gonna be heavy...or soft...make sense??...like i can hear your voice starting to get angry...but the music doesnt follow...im not sure if thats clear...
this has some great lines but some .."a hypocrite of no worth " seems to just be there cause it rhymes....NOW not that i dont this exact same thing mind you...lol...just an observation...how many rewrites has this been through....i usually get to about 6 before i post something...lol..
great song ..nothing i brought up takes away from that...and the mix is killer.
jamal
what filthy rags youd see....very cool.
bass might be too loud...or just need compressed...vocals are great ....drums WOW...great....i wanted you to go higher on .."run me DOWN"...but thats ok. lol the song seems to be struggling with is it gonna be heavy...or soft...make sense??...like i can hear your voice starting to get angry...but the music doesnt follow...im not sure if thats clear...
this has some great lines but some .."a hypocrite of no worth " seems to just be there cause it rhymes....NOW not that i dont this exact same thing mind you...lol...just an observation...how many rewrites has this been through....i usually get to about 6 before i post something...lol..
great song ..nothing i brought up takes away from that...and the mix is killer.
jamal
crawdad
Dammit, Jim, Shut Up!
I think you have mix issues and those issues have generated many of the comments. Several things:
The drums are WAY too hot--especially in the chorus when all the fills happen. Likewise, the bass is too bright and in your face. It could use a scoop in the mids and a boost in the low end. Something to tone it down but keep the groove.
The drums and bass are very up front, while the keys, guitar and vocal are pushed back in the space because of the FX. Its sort of reversed if you think of the spatial plane of hearing a band playing it live. Vocal should be front and center and relegate the bass/drums to more of a supporting role. They aren't the 'stars' of the track--the vocal is.
The song itself reminded me of something by America. Well performed on all instruments and the vocals are excellent also.
I don't know if I want to dive into the lyrics other than to say that the singer of the song doesn't have to paint himself as such a total shit in order to get the message across. We mortals know we have shortcomings and are not perfect like Christ. I might go for something like I try but I fall short. I think it might keep the message and be easier to relate to for the listener. Then again, your intention might be to capture the attention of the really bad off folks. So take these comments or leave them, as far as the lyrics go, but those were my thoughts.
You are a talented guy. You have a great voice and some really good tracks here. just get the mix right and I think you might be home.
The drums are WAY too hot--especially in the chorus when all the fills happen. Likewise, the bass is too bright and in your face. It could use a scoop in the mids and a boost in the low end. Something to tone it down but keep the groove.
The drums and bass are very up front, while the keys, guitar and vocal are pushed back in the space because of the FX. Its sort of reversed if you think of the spatial plane of hearing a band playing it live. Vocal should be front and center and relegate the bass/drums to more of a supporting role. They aren't the 'stars' of the track--the vocal is.
The song itself reminded me of something by America. Well performed on all instruments and the vocals are excellent also.
I don't know if I want to dive into the lyrics other than to say that the singer of the song doesn't have to paint himself as such a total shit in order to get the message across. We mortals know we have shortcomings and are not perfect like Christ. I might go for something like I try but I fall short. I think it might keep the message and be easier to relate to for the listener. Then again, your intention might be to capture the attention of the really bad off folks. So take these comments or leave them, as far as the lyrics go, but those were my thoughts.
You are a talented guy. You have a great voice and some really good tracks here. just get the mix right and I think you might be home.
Thanks for the input. Obviously, I'm a Christian. The lyrics of this tune represent exactly what I wanted them to. That I am crap. The message in the bridge is that even though I suck, there is still forgiveness for even me. When I wrote the first half of the song, I was into some pretty bad crap, and pretty deep. Those lyrics convey how I felt at the time. I wrote the second half as I was starting to come out of it, and I felt the Lord telll me to add something about His forgiveness. As far as the mix goes, I'll take all the critisism that there is!! I know I need it to learn.crawdad said:
crawdad
Dammit, Jim, Shut Up!
Exactly. And why I didn't really want to get into the lyric too much.
I'm coming from a commercial songwriting background and here is something I learned. You can write about anything and say anything you want, but there are certain ways of saying things that don't make the listener feel uncomfortable or embarrased. In this case, I was thinking of the theme of the song, which is, in a nutshell: "I am a sinner who falls short in the eyes of God, but through the power and forgiveness of Jesus Christ, I can rise above my weakness and lead a righteous life".
I understand that the lyrics you wrote express a personal truth and, believe me, I have no argument with that at all. This is your song and I'm not about to change a syllable. I just thought the message could be made to go down easier, but maybe God wants it to be exactly like it is. Its certainly not up to me to decide.
I won't say another word--I promise! I just wanted to express an opinion and if you take that as an attack, I am sorry. That was not my intention. Hope we are cool.
Check out Bruce Carrol's music if you get a chance. He is a Christian artist and a powerful writer himself. I think you might dig it.
I'm coming from a commercial songwriting background and here is something I learned. You can write about anything and say anything you want, but there are certain ways of saying things that don't make the listener feel uncomfortable or embarrased. In this case, I was thinking of the theme of the song, which is, in a nutshell: "I am a sinner who falls short in the eyes of God, but through the power and forgiveness of Jesus Christ, I can rise above my weakness and lead a righteous life".
I understand that the lyrics you wrote express a personal truth and, believe me, I have no argument with that at all. This is your song and I'm not about to change a syllable. I just thought the message could be made to go down easier, but maybe God wants it to be exactly like it is. Its certainly not up to me to decide.
I won't say another word--I promise! I just wanted to express an opinion and if you take that as an attack, I am sorry. That was not my intention. Hope we are cool.
Check out Bruce Carrol's music if you get a chance. He is a Christian artist and a powerful writer himself. I think you might dig it.
Oh dude! Everything's cool!!! I didn't take it as an attack at all. Honestly. Sorry if it came across that way. I appreciate ANY constructive critisism....especially here. Like I've said before, I have heard some amazing things on this forum. I think with this song, I did want people to feel a bit uncomfortable. I'm not really so concerned with my commercial appeal. I'm already too old and fat to be a rock star!!crawdad said:
I do understand though, that this song may not be the easiest to digest. I'm truly sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. I appreciate your comments!!