Thrown Away (BIG WIP)

jaykeMURD

jaykeMURD

I sit on you.
I recently wrote this...I think you can guess what sparked it!

Anyhow, keep in mind this is a totally rough track....hence the poor mixing and odd clipping on the acoustics. I cleaned it up a little bit, but this was just to capture the idea.

I've got plenty of these "ideas", so I though I'd finally share one....after all this time!

Not my best, but I think there's potential to work something cool out of it.

Any and all criticism welcomed and appreciated!

LightningMP3 wouldn't take, so I made a Sound Click! (yeah!!)
 
Since I'm here. What the hell is WIP??

Damit! I just got a misquito bite :mad: It's barley march! Inner arm below the pit! :eek: :eek: Now I keep thinking I'm seeing the little bastard because I have one of those floating squigly lines in my eye fluid :eek:
I'm going to hide :eek: Ahhhhhhh one on the nipple!!!! For gods sake! I'm under attack :eek: :eek: :eek:

F.S.
 
Pretty cool.

There is alot of clicking in the song? How / with what was this recorded?

Theres some inconsistant qualities in the vocals. The tone is very dark with too many lows in the begining and then gets clearer and less buried later. Souds like you got closer and further from the mic or perhaps different takes.

The guitar sounds pretty good. It's best at the begining to me. Some adjusting needs to be done on it when you start hitting it harder.


It's cool, but needs some work ;) I'd like to know your setup :) Always good to know what you have to work with.

F.S.
 
Freudian Slip said:
There is alot of clicking in the song? How / with what was this recorded?
Click to expand...

I believe its from my crappy conversion methods...there was some clipping when I recorded it, but the majority is something else.

Freudian Slip said:
Theres some inconsistant qualities in the vocals. The tone is very dark with too many lows in the begining and then gets clearer and less buried later. Souds like you got closer and further from the mic or perhaps different takes.
Click to expand...

You're exactly right. This in no way is a finished product....just an idea "jotted" down.

Freudian Slip said:
The guitar sounds pretty good. It's best at the begining to me. Some adjusting needs to be done on it when you start hitting it harder.
Click to expand...

I was messing around with my stereo miking.....didn't turn out quite like I'd planned.


Freudian Slip said:
It's cool, but needs some work ;) I'd like to know your setup :) Always good to know what you have to work with.
Click to expand...

Guitars: Dual MSH-1Os=DMP3=Delta1010lt=Sonar
Vocals: V69me=DMP3=Delta1010lt=Sonar

Nothing fancy. Nowhere near my recording/performing/writing talents.
Come to think of it, I really only posted this to see what people thought of my voice....which this recording really isn't a great example.

Thanks!
 
Update:​

I've re-recorded this song, but it's still in it's infantile stages.

Please, any criticism, critique, pointers, opinions are appreciated!

Anything stand out in a bad way? In a good way?

I can't fix the original link, so here's the new one:

Thrown Away
 
Last edited:
jaykeMURD said:
Update:​

I've re-recorded this song, but it's still in it's infantile stages.

Please, any criticism, critique, pointers, opinions are appreciated!

Anything stand out in a bad way? In a good way?

I can't fix the original link, so here's the new one:

Thrown Away
Click to expand...

I'm lap topping it at the moment mr jaykeMURDERER, so I will try and listen tomorrow! :)
 
I made it back. Certainly sounds better :) Cool song too.

Vox need some work. Little bit of low resonance in some passages where you are singing down the scale. In those places I would be looking at maybe some stratigic low cutts or a low shelf and adding some 4 to 5k.

Other places dont' need it and the S's may get a bit too much.

I don't like to do it but sometimes if a song has two destinct singing registers I will split the vox into two different tracks and eq the tracks seperat and then bus them back together. You know all the chorus's on one track, verses on the other.... Or what ever is called for.


Cool stuff :D

Ok I'm going to be extremely blunt :eek: You have a pretty nice voice with alot of potential. You don't always hit the notes just right and you struggle with the looooow stuff, but....... A few months of vocal training with a good teacher to show you how to use diaphram pressure and how to focus your air etc. etc. and you'd be kicking some ass I'd bet. Probly take about a lesson a week from a good trainer if you do your home practice.

I only say this because I see alot of potential in your voice :D
Take it from me. Best money I ever spent ;) You don't know what you don't know.


F.S.
 
Freudian Slip said:
I made it back. Certainly sounds better :) Cool song too.

Vox need some work. Little bit of low resonance in some passages where you are singing down the scale. In those places I would be looking at maybe some stratigic low cutts or a low shelf and adding some 4 to 5k.

Other places dont' need it and the S's may get a bit too much.

I don't like to do it but sometimes if a song has two destinct singing registers I will split the vox into two different tracks and eq the tracks seperat and then bus them back together. You know all the chorus's on one track, verses on the other.... Or what ever is called for.


Cool stuff :D

Ok I'm going to be extremely blunt :eek: You have a pretty nice voice with alot of potential. You don't always hit the notes just right and you struggle with the looooow stuff, but....... A few months of vocal training with a good teacher to show you how to use diaphram pressure and how to focus your air etc. etc. and you'd be kicking some ass I'd bet. Probly take about a lesson a week from a good trainer if you do your home practice.

I only say this because I see alot of potential in your voice :D
Take it from me. Best money I ever spent ;) You don't know what you don't know.


F.S.
Click to expand...

Thank you very much. I will most likley re-record the vocals again later...I'm still not entirely set in a particular method in this song. The "low stuff" is actually too low, out of my norm. I tuned down A LOT and tried it there. If there is a final version, the low parts probably won't be in there.

I totally agree with you about lessons. I've been looking into them recently, but I've been unable to find anyone suitable yet. I appreciate the honesty.
For some reason I find it harder to really "open up" at the mic, than at work around other people. You'd think it'd be the opposite, I was shy about my voice, but now I'm fairly comfortable. Oh well, thanks again.
 
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