Song For Jessie

crawdad

crawdad

Dammit, Jim, Shut Up!
This is a simple song I wrote for my daughter--just me and my guitar. Someday, I might think about adding stuff to it, but I kind of like it as it is. If any of you have kids, you might relate.

Since my computer makes so damn much noise and I don't have a dedicated isolation room, I just shut the screaming thing off and recorded this to minidisc live. V93 on the vocal, Oktava 012 on the guitar, a touch of verb through my Yamaha Promix 1 mixer.

I'm just putting this up as something to listen to. Its what it is. Could be more perfect, but it serves its purpose--a Valentine for my wonderful daughter.

http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/?aid=1522/singles.shtml

"Too Beautiful For Me"
 
Oh,
I forgot to mention, The song is great! I do wish you wouldn't have mentioned that you did this direct. I suppose you did it in one take too! How I envy people like you.


bd
 
Thats absolutely beautiful man.I downloaded and listened to this last night right before I turned the puter off.You are a powerhouse man.I really enjoyed the tune and I know your dauhter loved it.Heck.I got choked up listening to it.I have the flu so im gonna shut up now and go lay back down.

Really good songwriting crawdad.
 
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increadibly clean recording...........sounds amazing......very professional.......

i've got a v93 too.....do just go straight in? anything else in the chain? i was thinking about getting a pair of octavas.....then i would be a complete copycat

sounds great
 
Very nice song. Sometimes less is more. I don't know if I'd change anything either. I really enjoyed the song itself this way without trying to analyze anything.

Great job

Joe
 
that was beautiful man...









it darn near came close to melting my ice-cold heart....

























(but not quite)










:p





Great recording too... nice and clean.



WATYF
 
Man, almost makes me want to move to Detroit and start a band with you. Really great stuff.





(Not really, I would miss the Sun in California)
 
Crawdad,

Gorgeous tune. I have a 5yr old daughter myself. Sounds like yours is a little older. Hope she loves this song as much as we do.

Justin
PS. This song actually made me cry
 
Once again, I'm quite impressed. This goes into the keepers folder for sure.

Only a couple nits I have, and since I think you are a much better songwriter than I am (at least for now ;):D) take them with a grain of salt.

In the first verse "a kindness that Jesus Christ might envy" sticks out a little bit for me. That's pretty darn kind after all ;). I know what you are saying, but that line may rub some folks the wrong way. If it were me I would try to make it a little more general like...well, I'm sure you could figure out something as well as or better than I can.

"She's a saint, she's a martyr" - the martyr part bugs me just a little. I'm not quite sure what you are saying there. If she's a martyr, then what is her cause for suffering? That's where my mind took me when I heard that line...but maybe I think too much :D. The only direction I could take that is that she has to put up with her dad which makes her a martyr :p ;) :D.

(I'm not anti- religious either, so that's not where this is coming form just FYI) :)

That being said, this is an absolutely awesome song. Again, like the "Over 40 Blues" this is the type of stuff I love to sing. If I had time (and talent) to try to cover one of these songs I would do that for the challenge. But alas, I have neither.

If anything else pops into my head while I listen to this (and rest assured this will get a lot of listens) I will let you know.

I love this. You and many others here are inspiring me to get my kiester in gear and try to write some better stuff.
 
Jagular said:

In the first verse "a kindness that Jesus Christ might envy" sticks out a little bit for me.

"She's a saint, she's a martyr"
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I'll jump on the "I wish I'd said that" bandwagon. Both of those lines stood out to me, but for me, it was the "saint" instead of the "martyr."

Like I said in the other thread, I don't even know if this is what you're looking for, but it's all I have to offer, lol.
 
Jagular, excellent critiquing. That caught my attention the first time but I couldn't quite put a finger on the rub. I liked the song so much I hesitated to say anything negative. I guess as long as your being honest about what you think, and not insulting in any way you shouldn't hold back.

Joe
 
Smokepole said:
Jagular, excellent critiquing. That caught my attention the first time but I couldn't quite put a finger on the rub. I liked the song so much I hesitated to say anything negative. I guess as long as your being honest about what you think, and not insulting in any way you shouldn't hold back.

Joe
Click to expand...

Yeah, I just let it rip. I was hesitant, because from what I have heard of the last two songs from crawdad (also the only two) I think he is an incredibly talented writer. It also helps that it's the kind of music I really dig and often write as well. Plus since it's the kind of music my brain is stuck in, it's a lot easier for me to critique this style (especially since I can understand the lyrics without hurting myself :D). But since I consider him to be several rungs farther up the ladder than I am, I only give the suggestions with the most humble of attitude.

Hopefully others will do the same with my songs. It's the only way for us shut-ins to improve ;) :D
 
Hey y'all--this is good for me to hear this stuff. No need to hold back at all. Part of getting better is to know what you can and can't get away with. I knew that Jesus line might grind a few the wrong way, but it made my point in a strong way--too strong for some.

The saint, martyr business---well you'd have to know her I guess! She is definitely both, but more a saint.

It brings up one other thing. In my mind, I wrote this for Jessie specifically, with no designs of performing it or trying to pitch it. It was just one of those special purpose songs. So, I don't know if its even right to post something like this because by doing so, I should probably iron out the lines a bit more and try to make it more universally acceptable. See, its always a struggle between being true to yourself and being palatable to a larger audience. I have a lot of songs that I won't post here because they are so personal--(you know, Chris!). Not because I don't think they are good but because they aren't universal enough. You'd be asking "what's he talking about there?" I think now that if I'm going to share something, I need to concern myself enough with the listener to give 'em a fair ride. But I promise not to write "Silly Love Songs" OK? :D

Thanks to all for listening and for the comments.I always appreciate it.

Two more quick things. First, I have to wait till the end of the month to hear songs through my monitors here, so I have been temporarily cut off from listening to others stuff--which sux. I do plan to reciprocate again in the near future--just in case anybody is wondering.

Second--20 days to the HR Challenge! Time to get busy!
 
crawdad said:
It brings up one other thing. In my mind, I wrote this for Jessie specifically, with no designs of performing it or trying to pitch it. It was just one of those special purpose songs. So, I don't know if its even right to post something like this because by doing so, I should probably iron out the lines a bit more and try to make it more universally acceptable. See, its always a struggle between being true to yourself and being palatable to a larger audience. I have a lot of songs that I won't post here because they are so personal--(you know, Chris!). Not because I don't think they are good but because they aren't universal enough. You'd be asking "what's he talking about there?" I think now that if I'm going to share something, I need to concern myself enough with the listener to give 'em a fair ride. But I promise not to write "Silly Love Songs" OK? :D
Click to expand...

poppycock ;) :D

I am enyjoying your stuff immensly. I vote for post em high...where's that damn poll when you need it? :D
 
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