Please Review New Song (Rock/Pop/Alt Genre)

D

DarkFriend

New member
Would love some reviews of "Won't Hurt One Bit", a new tune I've just completed.



or

http://www.myspace.com/evanlesser

Millions of "break up" songs have been written, and all gush about how awful the split is/was/will be. Here's a break up song where the couple have broken up so many times (see verse two below), it doesn't hurt at all.

Lyrics:

Verse 1
Sunshine on your own, leaves a space when you're not at home
Sunshine over me, burned by the spectrum you just can't see
Now you're sitting in the captain's chair, as we're riding on this ship to nowhere, I
I'll take the fall - this won't hurt one bit at all

Chorus
I bet you think I wasted all your time
Let this thought then give you peace of mind
You said you wouldn't have it any other way
I'm happy to be flavor of the day
This won't hurt one bit at all
This won't hurt one bit at all

Verse 2
Two times on the phone, that once at a wedding was all our own
Fifth time was a charm, and by the sixth you don't have to twist my arm
Because now I'm sitting in the captain's chair, as we're riding on this ship to nowhere, I
I'm standing ten feet tall - this won't hurt one bit at all

Chorus
I bet you think I wasted all your time
Let this thought then give you peace of mind
You said you wouldn't have it any other way
I'm happy to be flavor of the day
This won't hurt one bit at all

Bridge

Chorus
I bet you think I wasted all your time
Let this thought then give you peace of mind
You said you wouldn't have it any other way
I'm happy to be flavor of the day
This won't hurt one bit at all
This won't hurt one bit at all
 
Where did you comp that melody from? It sounds so familiar that it's killing me!

It kind of sounds like a The Corrs... or something along those lines.

Nice recording job, I'd just be careful if I tried to market this...
 
Rokket said:
Where did you comp that melody from? It sounds so familiar that it's killing me!

It kind of sounds like a The Corrs... or something along those lines.

Nice recording job, I'd just be careful if I tried to market this...
Click to expand...

Shouldn't be "comped" from anywhere - unless there's some tune out there I don't know about. I know of the Corrs (hot, talented women right?) but I've not heard their stuff. This tune was a mix of two songs I've been working on for a good year. Finally figured out how to combine them together.
 
DarkFriend said:
Shouldn't be "comped" from anywhere - unless there's some tune out there I don't know about. I know of the Corrs (hot, talented women right?) but I've not heard their stuff. This tune was a mix of two songs I've been working on for a good year. Finally figured out how to combine them together.
Click to expand...

I think what he was thinking of that pop punk song from the nineties that goes...blah blah blah "so this is growing up"
 
If the melody sounds strangely familiar its because its a damm good pop song:cool:
Good job, nice recording, nice performance, nice writing. No nits from me.
Looking forward to hearing more of your stuff.

Mike
 
Thanks Mike - I've read your posts on this forum and your comments have some weight behind them.

I think SouthSideGlen on these forums said something to the effect of, there's a finite number of melodies for popular music, which I essentially agree with. The challenge to me, is coming up with something "more" original, even if it has a similar sound-alike somewhere out there.
 
Typing as I listen...

Very nice "big" sound. Top notch recording and production. I love the drums sounds.

Great vox--the lead and the harmonies. Very clear and upfront without grating. And I like the use of the keys--the organ and the synths. I also like the way you pan some of the embellishments--vocal and guitar--really adds interest.

And the songwriting is great--I can easily imagine hearing this one on the radio.

So no nits from me either. Super!
 
Very nicely done. Perfect for the pop/punk crowd and could even sway some others. Sound is good all around. Still humming it, so it's got a good hook.
 
Great song DarkFriend, the mix sounds great and the performance is tight. I thought the bridge was a little sparse, so maybe a synth break or something would work there. If you had a video (which would go well with this ;) ) you could have some visual that would fill in the space... But all in all it was great and I really enjoyed it....:cool:
 
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